my secrets..

call me a lucky girl!

2010-11-10T12:05:00.002+08:00

HELLO! weeeeee It was long ago since I last updated my blog. This is just a post of appreciation to HITZ.FM. I have no idea if they would get a chance to see this but I would just like to say THANK YOU to the whole hitz.fm. (:

Throughout the year, I've won a few prizes from them. Early this march, I've won RM 100 cash from JJ &EAN and 2 months ago, I've just won another RM 200 levi's CASH VOUCHER through the game in the website. And just only today, I've gotten myself 4 tickets to watch HARRY POTTER and the DEADLY HALLOWS premier at wangsa walk this 16th!!!

Well, there might be people that will said that this ain't lucky or whatsoever, hell, who cares! I call myself lucky girl!! hahaha (: and BABY brings me luck! =) I love him so much! =D He was saying yerrr. why you always win things from them one! (so cute)

Baby, you're my best baby and you always will be! I love you so much =D

Life's too short

2010-09-30T22:52:00.003+08:00

Life's too short to be wasted.

Life's too short to be not putting much effort in it.

Life's too short to let us rot.

Life's too short to be unproductive.

The loss of a life made me realized much.

It made me realized that I should stop saying "LATER" to anything.

It made me realized that I should start cherishing the days and times I have with my family.

It made me realized that I should love more and hate less.

It made me realized that I should feel contented always rather than empty.

This is not a post about Bryan but a post about the shock of hearing the news and finding out the truth.

The last time I met him was in 2007. The last time I heard about him was in 2007. I hope he REST IN PEACE.

Baby was right. If it were to be me who was being in the news, what's going to happen to my family? Cherish your life, your love your soul and the people you lovE!

worries =/

2010-09-16T09:36:00.002+08:00

Fell asleep accidentally and I woke up at 5am. Goddamnit!seriously like shit.

I tried more than 30 times trying to reach you over the cell and your msn offline.

Fucking shit. Worried like shit. Like I can do anything besides rotting here =/

I miss you my dear. WTF!

stress and some personal opinion, a messy post i'd say

2010-08-12T04:20:00.003+08:00

stress or depress? baby said I'm not stress but DEPRESs! I have no idea what I am now. I don't know what's coming about later, I rather not know or I rather know? I'm in a great dilemma now! yes ONE HUGE ONE!

So great that I couldn't even put myself to bed. I'd rather sit here and wait for the time to pass and read other's blog and not to bed. I hoped for a pass, and please let my dream come true! I hope you hear my prayers. The one that I truly prayed for. Not that others were not true, this is just one important one to me!

Maybe baby's right, the course is just not the right one for me! Stepping into the world is just a wrong decision made? or rather NOT? I have no idea already. I need to clear my own doubts and Make SURE what I want besides wasting my time trying on other stuffs.

I have been working for a month and ya I saw the true colors of the parents in Malaysia. They have been forcing their kids, who are innocent and THEY should be spending their sweet childhood in the kindergarten learning how to read and write and make new friends instead of facing PILES and PILES of homeworks at the age of 5!

I saw the stupidity in parents and the expectations in them. They blame the teachers for EVERYTHING! The child being unable to write at the age of 5, WHY? All I can say is because the parents didn't spend enough time with the child alone to teach him HOW TO FUCKING WRITE! You gave birth to the child, you have to raise him up and not just chuck him at a learning center or a kindergarten expecting the teacher to teach him EVERYTHING.

No, teachers can only guide them and not TEACH them. It doesn't matter how much you pay a month. To me, it is your responsibility. If you're working during the weekdays, then spend some time during the weekends. Just an hour every day will not harm you. Maybe because I don't have a kid right now, I couldn't understand. To me, the parents are like RICH ASSES that can afford A L.V. bag or a GUCCI. The time you can spend with your child is PRICELESS. Do not wait till the time when he grows up and he understands the world. He will never have that MUCH of time for you. The childhood of a kid is the BEST memory of his life and he shall never forget, be it good or bad.

I have no idea why did I typed such things out. I need a place to tell my feelings. I want to feel better. I really hope the parents that didn't treat their kids well could read what I wrote. Not that when you ask your son " Have you studied today? " and your son said "No" then you go bad mouth about the center makes you a great person or rather not. Because you'll never get a really good feedback about your child if you only wanna listen to GOOD things! Note that, nothing is ever gonna be perfect in Malaysia or rather this world. Nothing WILL GO AS YOU WISH. So stop dreaming!

Broga Hill after so long

2010-07-19T12:08:00.004+08:00

Ok! So i've seen broga hill images and blog post almost every where. I've always wanted to see a sunrise since I was a kid. This time I found my "kakis" to conquer the broga hill with me. Bluddy excited eh? Ya, that was exactly how I felt like BEFORE I climbed and After that, I cried =/

all our pics (: weeeeeee

p/s: my first attempt of imageshack after so many years =/

trimmed my hair to a shorter length

2010-07-07T12:05:00.004+08:00

before

after

FINALLY i trimmed my hair that looked like a bush =D well i'm kinda satisfied, hopefully a month later the effect would be better =P tidier dy although not much of differences..

a RACIST post ( a car accident)

2010-07-01T20:43:00.002+08:00

WARNING: DON'T READ THIS IF YOU'RE NOT A RACIST OR YOU SIMPLY HATES RACISM. I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN SHIT ABOUT HOW YOU LIKE IT OR TAKE IT ABOUT RACISM. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LEAVE THE BLOG BEFORE U LECTURE ON ME. FUCK OFF!

I was heading to work this morning! Happily i left my house =) YET, one small fucking mistake i made, i took the wrong turning and hence i kinda got lost. When I finally found my way, I was caught in a massive jam. Here things happened. This is not the first I got caught in an accident already but SECOND TIME in the same year. Why am I so pissed off?

TWICE the accidents I met was because of MALAYS. to me, they're BABIs. I'm not sure if this time that guy that banged my car is a malay or not, but he's not a chinese or indian that's what i know. It was so fucking jam, that I didn't realized there's ONE FUCKING MOTORCYCLE coming FROM DON'T KNOW WHERE, KNOWING THAT HE COULDN'T FUCKING SQUEEZE HIS MOTORCYCLE INTO THE LEFT LANE, PUSHING HIS WAY IN!

That's the WORST thing i've seen. The fucker WASN'T speeding at all, i'm fucking sure that he wasn't because he knocked the window on my left and he pushed his way through the whole way knowing that HE COULDN'T FUCKING PASSED!! and If only he knew what he was doing, he didn't push in my side mirror but fucking pushed it out and WHEN I HONKED AT HIM, HE FUCKING WENT OFF!

The first time when I met accident with the BABIs, they also ENJOY GOING BEHIND UR CAR AND SUDDENLY POP-ED OUT FROM DON'T KNOW WHICH PART OF HELL and banged into ur car claiming that you BANGED THEM! and that has caused me quite a lot.

TO ALL MOTORCYCLIST, please RIDE ONLY A MOTORCYCLE IF UR RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH!otherwise, WALK!! If ur so fucking POOR and can't afford to pay for the accident you've caused, DON'T BANG! WAIT FOR THAT 5 MINUTES IT'LL SAVE EVERYONE'S MONEY.

I REALLY HOPE I'M NOT HERE. AND I HOPE THE FUCKER WOULD JUST DIE LIKE THAT! HE HAS BEEN CURSED BY ME! and I'M FUCKING PISSED OFF!

Rotting life

2010-06-29T00:51:00.002+08:00

Hello world! Weeeee I've been rotting my life for almost a month. OMFG seriously. I need a job to spare my own life from eat, sleep and rot. I need to do something PRODUCTIVE! I'd enough of mum getting home every day telling me that I looked like a fucking patient lying on the bed and doing NOTHING except EAT,SLEEP AND ROT.

There you see, I've tried my best to get myself something to work on. But I just couldn't get myself to do it. Ie: BAKING A CAKE. I've got them recipes, all I need is just the MOTIVATION to do it.

Things been going well with my baby. I just hope it stays like that. And all I wanted to tell him is Thank you Baby, I love you huns.

Been putting on loads of weight lately because my sleeping time has been screwed. Ahh! I need to figure out a way to lose them fats.

So here's a to-do list for the next month, I hope that they're all well carried out.

Trim the bush of hair and get a treatment
Earn some money (:
Clean up that messy room of mine
Read more books
Try to understand the animes that baby gave
Done playing with all the PS3 games ie: GOW I,II,III , Dante's inferno, Heavy rain etc
Bake that 3 cheesecakes.
Pay a visit to the museum
Start running again
Spend MORE time with baby
GET myself a new bed and bookshelf
Spend more time with the family

Hmm, hopefully the whole thing could be done in a month's time. All the best to MYSELF!

updates

2010-06-17T10:43:00.002+08:00

Lots had happened lately. Arguments, misunderstandings, miscommunication etc etc. Sometimes, I ran out of ways to handle too =/ but Things really got better lately I hope. I don't mind all these because I know we will made it through. (:

Exams' over. Rotting life hadn't been great now. WHY? I need them money. Urgh ): Busy hunting for jobs, well not really that busy but I'm definitely hunting for them.

Simply couldn't get the inspiration to update my blog anymore. I don't know why. Maybe because this time someone's reading it? Maybe because I simply lost them? oh god, I DON'T KNOW!

I wanna be that happy-go-lucky me again. The one with no worries and smile to her life all day girl again. Can I?

I wanna love you for now and then. I love you baby (:

the guy that made me felt like i'm the luckiest on earth =D

2010-05-11T06:16:00.004+08:00

=) love ya baby!

oOo

____________________________________________________________________
there i've been living in happiness for the past few months and still counting on ! that's the guy that gave me all the happiness and made me felt like the luckiest girl on earth having him as my boyfriend and being his baby =D

He has been pampering me with loads and loads of love and all i wanna say is THANK YOU BABY! =)

LOVE YA.. <3

my pc fair 2010..

2010-04-20T15:26:00.002+08:00

well well well...I'm back to work at the pc fair again this time =D hmm it would be my second time working for the same boss, one word for it, AWESOME! i think i have the world best boss of all times, like when u really couldn't reach any customers, the boss will understand. AND HE'S DEFINITELY SOFT SPOKEN. So soft spoken till you actually feel guilty if you never get any sales the next day. =/

My baby has been a very very thoughtful and sweet hearted one. He'd dropped by everyday just to see me and he'll pick me up after work. I know i can expect more from him because I hasn't achieve his expectations. He has given me the happiest moments in my life and I KNOW HE HAS BEEN CONSTANTLY WILLINGLY reminding me about my upcoming exams. Thanks dear.

I've been working very hard lately to get the money and to let myself not to rot. Is either i rot at home and not getting any other work done or i work and at the same time i get the money and not rotting my life off. Choose wisely =)

The picture above was taken on the first day after work while we were walking to the car park. I personally love it so much because we both looked gorgeous =D

Bought my sweet heart a wallet because he lost his just the day before pc fair. It might be a bit pricey but well for him i guess it doesn't really matter much. I love you dear!

p/s: i saw the posts weeeeeeee..T_T

i'm starting to blog again! =D

2010-04-13T03:27:00.002+08:00

weee i think i'm starting to blog again =D practically there's nothing much here that i've done lately..SERIOUSLY BEING UNPRODUCTIVE!!!HOW MUCH more longer i could stand being like this? I REALLY DON'T KNOW! =/

oh god damn the laziness...exams is a month away and i'm still slacking my day off =S shoulder aching, THIS TIME even with coke i couldn't study =X where the fuck is my problem???

finally got my paycheck today. Cheque dated 08/04/2010. Date of resignation 31/03/2010. Date where i went to the office making one great hell lotsa noise 09/04/2010. Now lets analyze this.

ME (01/04/2010) : hi manager, how come i haven't get my pay yet? O:

Man A : O: oh really? let me check with the guy then i'll get back to you ok?
ME: OH ok then thank you yah =D

*few minutes later*

Man: He said it shouldn't be a problem. Maybe 2mrw you will get it .

ME: oh ok then thank you so much.

ME (02/04/2010) : HI Manager, apparently i still haven't get my pay yet. What's wrong arh?

Man A : oh really arh? I've checked with Man B he said it shouldn't be a prob. Why not i give you a number he'll get back to you later, if he doesn't, give him a call.

ME : ok thank you and sorry to disturb.

ME : HI man B, i'm sue yinn, i'd like to know wat's wrong with my paycheck ya?

Man B: i need to check with the finacing dept, but apparently there is no prob with your status. Nvm, let me check first ok? i'll get back to you by today.

*AND HE NEVER FUCKING CALL BACK*

ME (03/04/2010) : HELO...SO HOW ALREADY ARH?

Man B: i'm sorry i'm in the clinic now i'll call you back soon.

* AND WHOLE DAY THE MAN B IN THE CLINIC HE IS DYING SOON*

ME (04/04/2010) : CALLED FOR ALMOST 10 TIMES NO ANSWER!

ME : Hi Man A, i'm sorry to disturb you, but apparently the MAN B is ignoring my calls he never UPDATE Me!

Man A: i'm sorry ya, let me try k?

* and they disappeared the same day*

ME (05/04/2010) : called again and no answer.

Me: hi MAN A, i'm sorry again, but your MAN B didn't call back =/

Man A: I couldn't reach him as well.

ME (05/04/2010): FINALLY HE ANSWERED! SO YAH HI?HOW'S THE STATUS ALREADY??

MAN B: ok the cheque is ready.

ME: so do i have to collect or you banked in?

MAN B: i'll get my boy to bank in for you 2mrw ok?

ME: SO WHEN I CAN GET MY PAY?

MAN B: BY THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET IT.

ME: OK THANK YOU SO MUCH!

ME (06/04/2010): BEEN CHECKING THE WHOLE DAY. NO MONEY.

ME ( 07/04/2010): OH GOOD MORNING BANK. I'D LIKE TO CHECK MY ACCOUNT.

BANK: You'll have to wait at least 3 days.

ME : OK THANK YOU

*SO I FUCKING WAITED AGAIN*

ME (08/04/2010) : no pay yet. i dulan already so i called my manager AGAIN.

ME: HI MAN A, i'm so so so sorry to disturb you. But watever that guy said was total bullshit no pay.

MAN A: you try calling the office ok?i'll give you his number

ME: OK. I CALLED WITHOUT USING THE EXTENSION THERE'S NO DIRECT LINE FUCKING SHIT!

ME: HI GOOD EVENING. I'M SUE YINN . I WOULD LIKE TO CHECK ON MY PAYMENT STATUS. ACCORDING TO MAN B MY PAY HAS BEEN BANKED IN. BUT HOW COME I HAVEN'T GET MY PAY YET?

XXX: let me check your details first. oh i'm sorry but your cheque hasn't been signed. why did man B told you that?

ME: HOW I KNOW?HE SAID HE'D BANKED IN FOR ME ALREADY.

XXX: I'LL CHECK WITH HIM AND I'LL GET BACK TO YOU IN 15 MINS.

*THERE IS NO CALLS AGAIN!*

ME (09/04/2010) i never did called again. I RUSH UP TO THE OFFICE AND THE CHEQUE WASN'T SIGNED.

HR A: once the cheque is ready B/C will give you a call

ONE WHOLE FUCKING DAY NOOOO CALL t=.=t

ME (12/04/2010): andy, please help me go check my cheque status. THANK YOU.

ANdy: i got good news for you.

ME: SO IT'S READY?

ANDY: YES.

and hell yeah..the process of collecting the cheque. HALF AN HOUR. i duno wat the people do there =S

so yah the pay and everything i couldn't even banked in before 4pm. so i guess i'll have to wait wait wait and WAIT to get my new phone and pay off my debts. urgh

and hell having insomnia. too much of coke or wat?I MISS BABY muackxx muackxx..

10042010------------->F-

2010-04-10T22:08:00.002+08:00

09042010, i had one great day out with baby's friends. Vikesh and all. well going out with them definitely is so much better than going out with the other bunch. No i didn't felt left out. I'm happy with everything except the DULAN part that i DIDN'T GET MY PAYCHECK and when i fought with baby. =/ SO hell yah, we watched ta-da " CLASH of the TItans." not tities =D

the 3D was meant for the part when they were showing the heaven, other than that, nothing much :O i always enjoy my days with baby. So i ended up reaching home around 12am, cinderella back home eh? FUCK! slept off around 2am and woke up around 6 cox that stupid dog barked. Slept again and woke up at noon. NOT FUN =/

one whole day of rotting, and all i got was nuts! DEFINITELY won't be in a good mood, trust me. Shoulder pain like hell, parents abandoned you at home. I asked your son to eat maggie you said i'm irresponsible, i told you to leave some money for me, and you said you'd forgot bout it, do you still call that RESPONSIBLE?

i wanted to leave this place so badly right now. I don't know how long more i could stand staying here. You'd rather listen to your stupid friends than listening to your daughter. Your friends are stupid aite? I NEVER LIKE THEM! especially those that BITCH around! I KNOW WHO YOU GUYS WERE. SHADDAP AND FUCK off.

rawr....back off everyone before i start flaming at you. thx

07042010---------->furious?pissed =/

2010-04-08T04:27:00.002+08:00

this lazy hasn't been updating her blog very often ever since she started working and she opened her new blog with baby =D definitely a good start. Why said so? Because you already had in mind that your baby will always read what you wrote for him and not ignore it =) HAPPINESS flowing.

well why furious? I was busy working for the past 3 months. And my last day for that psychotic job was on the 31st of march. Lets see, it's already 7th of april and I haven't get that fucking pay check yet! God damn the stupid HR dept. As well as the financing.

The workers from the same company behaved the same. It doesn't matter much on which project are you working on. One word for all, we're malaysians. Laziness comes right after the-so-important-to-you-task. They will NEVER update you with whichever information you need. For example, they'll issue you a CHEQUE instead of direct transfer into your current account. WHY NO ONE FUCKING TOLD ME THAT? and I DIDN'T KNOW TILL MONDAY? oh fuck!

Lulu's coming back in MAY. Oh mai~ CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT DAY! and i can't imagine that I'M FETCHING her and we have hell lotsa things to do on that day itself. I miss her soooooooo MUCH!

Met up with chang today. God knows when was the last time we spoke to each other face-to-face? Did he grew taller or wut?weeeeeee I really can't forget that scene when i told him about the scoring average in exams of somebody i'm so pissed off. EPIC!

I am currently having a great time with baby and he's just perfect! Might be a lil sensitive, but hell I'd rather he be sensitive than not being one at all =D I love you dear.

ANNOUNCEMENT!

2010-03-13T17:31:00.003+08:00

hello world..i know it has been ages since i last updated my blog. Well there are lots that happened
in just a few months time. Hmm..let's see, I've got a new baby =)there..my new boyfriend.

inilah baby aku

Grandmas' got admitted to the hospitals. One in Selayang, one in SJMC. Urgh..I took one week off to celebrate my birthday and half the week i wasted in the hospitals. WTF seriously. And now i'm half ill =/

Despite the fact that I was busy during my birthday, my baby did bought me a cake =) I requested yet he still bought it and it was YUMMY ok?!Thanks dear. That was very sweet. I know that i only spent an hour with you cutting the cake, that was still very thoughtful.

Exams are rushing up my arse and hell I am still unprepared. Jeez =/ Watched Alice in Wonderland 3D. Epicly AWESOMe AND definitely orgasmic =P i bought the combo with the cup..HOHOHO that smiling cat was so cute =)

Shocked when parents asked me why I didn't invite my baby for dinner. Does that mean They take him as my official boyfriend?IF yes, i'm gonna FLY =) fucking happy weeeeeeee

I love you baby. Thank you =)

wo xi huan

2010-01-25T23:35:00.000+08:00

Show encrypted text

it's time for some udpates

2010-01-19T16:45:00.002+08:00

so i've been sick for a week...wat a sicko girl..=/
and finally i paid a visit to the place that i hate most..the stupid clinic!
ewww..another week of drugs consumption...
i think because i took extra dosage or wat...
fuck that i couldn't get up this morning and thank god i got an extra day of MC..
so i actually slept for 15 hours...wat a great day eh?
half a day gone...
lunch with yuki again..weeeeeeeeeeeeeee....
no more cock(coke) for the week so i changed it to lin bee nah(ribena)..
the cough syrup is a nightmare as well as the antibiotic...
sucky!that's it...blek

21st century breakdown

2010-01-16T12:40:00.003+08:00

guilty conscience
please tell me what i did wrong?
father in heaven, i need ur guidance now.
i wana drink till i can't remember a shit
just let me scream my lungs out
i wana shop till my legs can't walk anymore
let me run till i no longer loves running
let me cry it all out
someone please tell me i'm not sinful?
give me a pack of cig and i'll finish them off
i know i'd promised but just let me be.
i tried not to think but apparently i can't
i'm emotionally unstable and i might just add a few lines on that flawless part
being inconsiderate means i don't bother
being considerate = getting blame without saying anything extra
my guardian angel i need u and where are you now?
i thought jesus would send u to me?
apparently He didn't

selfish

2010-01-16T01:44:00.001+08:00

i'll take the blame...

sorry

i know i hurt you

sorry........

fucked*

finally i'm done

2010-01-15T03:47:00.002+08:00

procrastination is SUCKY...i have no idea why am i one of those procrastinator out there. =/
i was told that i'll need a personal statement 2~3 weeks back.
BUT HELL...i kept telling myself that i have amper of time and i should just see how.
the best part would be when my friend started to correct all my blardy grammar mistake that's when i felt embarassed and stupid and i started to hate broken english.
TOO MUCH of those will really affect it. OMG!

i couldn't imagine how that personal statement of mine is going to impress the UNI in UK.
the only thing i could say is i'd already did my best and yah that's the best i could provide at this moment.
i really felt like crying when i saw all those careless and stupid mistakes. WTF were all those?
bullshit... isssshhhhh

please pray hard that whatever i'd said or wrote or typed out in that statement made some sense to them..really.
studying in the overseas meant alot to me.
keep ur fingers cross peeps x x thanks =)

after today i no longer need to worrry bout the dumb statement and all i need to do is WAIT FOR THE RESUTLS and also the offer letter.
please please..my dear UNIs...i love you...just send me smth =D

working life

2010-01-12T21:53:00.002+08:00

been working for a week..and almost a half =) so far so good i'd say...
more to see...hahaha
the true faces of the colleagues...
few had shown...more to go =P
T.E.A.M.W.O.R.K was taught but my team didn't carried out.
i was dissapointed and pissed off really...
don't fucking ask for teamwork when YOU don't know how!thank you.
so...kena penalty to dance.arrgghhhh
mr.fat recorded it on my phone and it was F-ING funny...
EMBARASSING really =/ my goodness
and i got offended when someone just said...the chinese girl.
WTF is that the chinese girl?my name very hard to remember is it?
SUE ANN!!!SUE ANN!!!SUE ANN!!!!!!!read..SUE!!!ANN!!!zzzz
i'm not just one fucking chinese girl.....wtf
or u want me to give you one easier name to remember?so you won't call me the chinese girl anymore? call me justine then...NOT justin..
bah i doubt if you could pronounce it properly =/ don't spoil my name...

went window shopping with raj and saw quite a number of stuffs =)
AWESOME!!!!hahaha...shopping spree and FOOD after i get my pay =D
smile...smile...smile....wakakakakakakakkaa...
S.C.I.C.O.M.E.R that's the name that wesha gave us ppl working in the company lol...
tired yet happy working life...
I HATE THE JAM!!!!and the pest on the road...=/

a new blog skin =D

2010-01-11T00:58:00.002+08:00

weeeeeeeeeee
i changed the blog skin liao =D
wakakakkaa....so happy de hor....=)
because i saw this that's why....ahh....
so cute right???!?!???! =P
some of the sidebars went missing i duno where they went...
hehe..simply because i forgotten to copy the html code =/
ahhh but i feel happier when i see the blog laaaa =D bear with my dumbness aite?

very lazy and very tired lately.
ah.
off to bed
nite!

moving away

2010-01-09T19:44:00.002+08:00

it's 2010. i'm planning of to move to a brand new blog =D
wat'd you think?hahaa...
unless there's someone who's willing to change and do something for me =/
too bad that person didn't exist.
So i'm hunting for a new place to move in and before that i'll still stick right here =)
hahaha...

everything is moving on.me, my life. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G i meant.

had a job in somewhere. weeeeeee
made new friends.
now i'd got one more macha friend added to the list.MR.RAJ---the fat!

because of the stupid jam and the working hours everyday i'll be home around 10pm
people like me simply hates the jam and i'd rather waste my time in the mall sitting. =)

bloody ankle went swollen again and i think it's high time for me to visit the tit dah again =/
arrrgh....and sore throat and cough...and cold =/
things just went go right when you're already in bad luck

met an accident few days back.. and i'd said it's fucked up
from that on i went anti babis..yah i AM racist!so what?

till today i have't watch my avatar in 3d yet...because of someone.
arughghghgh
BUT hell i watched ju-on 4...just another stupid horror movie i'd said..
the cinema was so smelly =/ filled with the ppl that were so inconsiderate...
fucking do not remove the shoes when u know you have that "hongkong feet" la...
all these people should fucking just send them to someone institution...
teach them some manners..make them crazy =)

i'm so into something lately. someone. somethings.
jay chou!JAY CHOU!
and one new rule. DO NOT CALL ME SUE! i don't like it.
thank you.

02012010--------------->first post of the year

2010-01-03T00:49:00.002+08:00

first post of the year lol..haha =) lets see...wat to update~NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION?well..i have nothing to plan for year 2010 yet...so far i think...
things just WON't go accordingly to plan...God simply loves to fool us around. SAD =/

since it's year 2010, we shall just look forward to certain things. EX: flying away and behappy =D
I'd definitely love to get outta this country..i don't care if it means missing someone or not.
People learn how to cherish when they lose the precious don't they?
well, i think i need to lose them once only i'll know how to cherish them.
Just once and i meant my brothers no others.

Am currently in a complicated relationship. W-H-Y?i have no idea.
I WANNA KNOW too..TEACH ME!how to get rid please.

One thing i'm glad is that i always have friends.
I have people that can help me to get rid of my boredom and cheer up my day =)
Simply love them. Muackxx.

turning into 20 aint that fun after all.
I wanna go back to child hood.
That's when u get all the happiness and worries free. =D

I enjoy the life of being pampared by everyone. Who hates that?
I enjoy the life of seeing food EVERY WHERE. it can be kinda sinful tho.
I enjoy the life of being MYSELF. M-E- N M-Y-S-E-L-F
I enjoy the life of FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

Time to start a new life.
2 decades had past. and. this is the best time to GROW UP =)
no longer a LITTLE GIRL.
urgh. i don't really like that.
but helllllllll...................

2010. i hope this is gonna be a superb year =)
GOD BLESS all of us.
and especially u ^^

31122009----------------->last day of the year

2009-12-31T02:44:00.002+08:00

well well well...is the last day of the year again!=) weeeeeeee 31st...haha...OSUM right?i know!i know!seriously...i'm welcoming the year of 2010 with OPEN HANDS AND LEGS!*oh no dirty thoughts here*...urm...really..it hasn't been a VERY PLEASANT year for me this year.. =/ haiy...it is way more to go next year ...

am really looking forward FLYING out next year...damn it!LET ME GOOOOO...i wanna GOOOOO so so so so so badly..=P i'm getting tired lol..really...

and something has been bothering me lately...as in REALLY BOTHERING ME...i don't know how LOL...stupid girl =)

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy new year... a sad eve for me =/ well WELCOME 2010 ya..

*is fat kor kor's bday today...he's turning into 25...haha FAT FAT FAt!!!!!

personality..TYPE A&B..o.o

2009-12-09T12:44:00.001+08:00

His character is a balance between the personality type A and B. Inside these parameters is where most of people are. He can be productive and efficient in the work or studies, although he can be calm in situations that require it. Sometimes he feels nervous. He relaxes more than a Type A person but not as much as a Type B person.

^
|
|
|
the above description is ME!LoL..=)

28112009------------>running outta inspiration

2009-11-28T03:05:00.002+08:00

seriously i am really running outta inspiration to update my blog..omfg which part went wrong?WHERE?haha..i just don't know..and i don't bother to know either.
so i've been watching gossip girls all day and night abandoning whatever is gonna be the next most important thing to me. Just couldn't help but kept hunting for better excuses to hide away from the reality. Well basically that's me xD
Am planning for something big this time and i hope it turns out well. I will try to prove you people wrong that even without the help or you guys, i can still work it out ALONE =)
I hate fake hopes and please do not give me any. Because when you destroy mine, i'll do my best to destroy yours too. I'd learnt my lesson well enough not to treat everyone with true heart because most of them won't. I know who they are at least ^^
Pc fair is next week and i'm looking forward to work there. frankly, more money minded nowadays. the 3rd most essential thing in my life before my bf already. they switched places ever since i'm broke. =P
Oh god i need to be productive. Life aint life if there is no activities or studies going on. holy crap my life is a mess. a really messy one right now. hmm....what's up next?back to that old college and camp there all day with my books?i think so =) time to be nerdy...

ps:grandma's discharging 2mrw =) great news...no car for me 2mrw..bad news..no car this sunday i don't think is a good one either.

20112009----------->LAST DAY =)

2009-11-21T01:01:00.002+08:00

well practically today is my last day of that hell exam =) muahahaha...ECONOMICS PAPER 3...to hell ^^CHEERS...so...i started munching my past year questions 2 days ago..which is 18th of november...VERY GREAT right?yes i know...=P

hurm hurm...last minute of munching...last minute of everything...THANK GOD...whatever came out were out in past year...to hell again!i forgotten the correct answers...fugging dumb i know =/right after that paper...i "terbang" to fetch ming yi =)...

picked her up and we headed straight to gardens...ALL THE WAY TO MOOKS...to get this!

ya...a lomo camera...not to mentioned that it is..FISH EYE!this would be the effect of snapping ur photos with this cute lil camera =D

a round picture that's it...super nice =D besides that the colour i got for my baby is....LIMITED EDITION...exactly the same as the picture i posted =)muahahhaa..lucky boi...=]

so after 3.5 hours of wrapping and decorating the card and present...went to jalal to pick him and wei ken up..hungry hungry...steamboat here i am again!yummehhhhhhh...

my dad came stalking me at the steamboat place...hahahaha...*amazed*weeeee i duno if he really like that present or not..don't care la!suka or not...i did my best =Dand u must like it...cox there's a lot of hardwork in every bit of it =)

so yah...tired and sleepy now..love ya boi =D

i have SO MUCH time for me to waste..eh?

2009-11-11T05:45:00.000+08:00

so ya!look at the time...5.44am =)guess wat?
i was reading blogs...JUST NOW...for a fucking 1.30 hours
OH MY! I'M....gonna...PASS it (as if) *sad face*
hurm...so ya..paper at 4pm...
my plan was to the karaoke box at 11am..and back to college around 2pm...
then sleep for an hour and study for 45 mins =)
wat bout the morning?
if i ever gonna fall asleep when i'm driving to college..i'll just go babe's place and take a short nap
then be at college around 9.30am or 10am
ouh i'm such a great planner.. =P
wat bout lateR?
my paper 4 is TOMORROW!note that..
is..TOMORROW morning...9.30am
MEANS .....another SLEEPLESS night..gosh!
bah...not gonna come online 2mrw...ima MEMORIZE every shit of those and crap it out during exam..
MAYBE after that bloody paper...we'll go for ball games =D
ouh please..i need to...DE-Stress myself abit..
my night would be at OUG night market..muahaha
i simply...enjoy shopping in the night market LATELY..wakaka..i see FOOD waiting for me!
is almost 6am..i shall.....GET OFF...and get ready soon =)
ouh my ...GOD bless my exam's and shaun's grandma...
hurm...hurm...

05112009-------->one super long update i guess

2009-11-06T03:53:00.003+08:00

so ya hello world =) weeee it has been a long time since i updated bout my life =P
nothing much actually...just EXAMS...and more exams...
lucky me ^^ i'm left with one last subject...3 papers...ECONS..ouh i love uncle khor =D
ever since my paper 1 of maths started...it's like i've been fated to get to know a bunch of new friends...lol
awesomeness i would say...all they brought was laughters and it actually lessen my stress...
gosh..besides that...i've got a good teacher muahaha..mr.joaquin..
and one great fella out there...mr. steve =)
one cute friend..muacchi boi..
one gay guy...gordon GAAAAY...
the normal one...ryan =) hahahaha...
of course when it comes to listing...there are lots to do aint it?
well i'm just closer to this bunch of them...
apparently we're just hanging in college ALMOST everyday..holy ness..
study, makan, dota, pool, sing k, movie session...oh gosh!
we almost stayed over in college..haha i'd love that..
and the pasar malam trip =) no worries..we'll DEFINITEly go there AGAIN..
bah...the k session =D place it in heart wat's up next...
so ya...all the best every one ^^
the next time we meet up will never be preparation for exams and we'll blow bout our life in llb..
wakakakka....thanks peeps..really..

想你--missing you

2009-10-31T02:05:00.002+08:00

我是在想你的。。但是同时我还很贪心地不小心想起他了。。
所以今天下午我哭了。。因为我想起他对我的好了。。
对不起。。或许有一天你知道了之后你会想说你对我那10个月的好为什么会比不上他那一个月的好。。我真的会答不出吧。。。
当初他最不放心的事情发生了。。原来最没用的人是我。。我真的很失败。。
我很喜欢你，也很爱你。。只是你的一举一动实在太伤我了。。。
如果你都没有发觉到我的伤心，那我唯一能说得是你不够敏感罢了。。我不想在自欺欺人了。。
阿！！！！！

something i've kept for a long time

2009-10-23T00:58:00.002+08:00

there's this lil thing that i've kept to myself for a long time...
been struggling with it for a long time as well....
not bout me being sensitive...urm just..helo?i can't stand those...
i think i have the right to list'em out one by one...RIGHT?

so ya..first....lets see....because i love him so much HENCE I THINK MY BELOVED one doesn't deserve to be treated like this by his so called "GOOD FRIENDS!"

when u people need him or his beloved smexy camera...u guys call him out...
when u guys need someone to share the bill or something...u guys invited him as well i think...
i hate gossiping bout people..so i blast it when i'm really pissed off...
is aite if you don't ask us along but don't fucking lemme realized that you're using us..
FOR EXAMPLE...there was once i asked u to pinjam me the car...woah!
a long lecture............................
then there's this time when i get back my car...
u wanted me to pinjam u my car...just to show off.........................................
thank god i said i need to think bout it...
then there's this time i used the A's car....
another lecture bout it i guess...........DON'T DO ANYTHING TO MY CAR...
yah like i'm gonna BANG IT or smth...
i haven't met any accidents before...

because of me always troubling people to fetch me home at night....
i don't need u guys to ask my bf to pay you ppl back....
IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO PAY...GET IT BACK FROM ME!
i have friends that are hundred times better?
i have friends that will never click skipped button when i'm half way singing my song..without even seeking my permission...
i almost cried when someone skipped my song..just because u fetched us..doesn't meant that u have the right?!i can always pay the cab...

gaaaaaaah!watever it is....
if i ever realized this is going on again..i duno wat will happen..
just because i don't say anything doesn't meant that i don't know anything

19102009-------------->is 10 months and 3 days =)

2009-10-19T01:16:00.002+08:00

this is unexpected...very surprising!i never had that thought that we'll go on for 10 months...i'm actually really happy...FYI i never got myself involved in a relationship for so long before..so yah it is no surprise that i'm SHOCKED!i love my bubu so much =)

well...i didn't realized till just now...i was telling him hey happy b-lated 10 months babe...then only i realized on our 10th month..we actually went to the beach together =D haha ^^ it wasn't a pleasant journey to be frank..i didn't enjoy much really =/ sorry~ anything that has got to do with you would be a sweet memory for me...

i was really tired that day and the pantai morib turned out to be the worst beach after port dickson..oh gosh!the sea water are urm..greyish and muddish =/ there aint much sea breeze lol..my best memory would be the piggy ride =D weeeeeeeeeeee it was fun..the sad thing is we didn't snapped pictures together except that 2 or 3 pathetic shots..as both of us were busy shooting other stuffs..

hmm..well..after that we headed home with the unpleasant ride again...holy!i really don't appreciate ppl that couldn't drive well and rammed their cars..love ur car and ur life please..do not fucking speed if you can't drive at that speed...rawr..cox u'll just make a fool outta urself..

one more thing is..i really hate it when i don't ask back the money from you please don't try asking it back from me..lol? if this is gonna happen that's it i'll count everything clearly...do not fucking take a fag without even buying another pack or offer yours..well it is once in a blue moon i see you buying ur own cigarettes..so don't touch my darling's..

now that i get my own car i will never need to trouble you...so just do not fucking as anything from my bf..i really don't like it...if you wanna count just fucking clear it off with me and not my bf..be a man!

well yesterday went to nash's open house..the nasi briyani is simply osum ^^ i love briyani so much..as well as the rendang mutton..weeeeeeee...thank you nash =D hurm..jack followed...didn't make it to the midnight movie with them..too tired and broke =/ well..instead of that bro and dear went pool-ing at ezy's..baby won ^_^v

dead tired and i dozed off right after i reached home...went church the next day..lol?i'm not a faithful buddhist or catholic..i have no idea wat am i..so just don't ask i don't know the answer...after that..went for the porridge..tasteless..hahaha..except for the fish..around 1pm dad called lol i flew home..haha..too much of lies so yah..need to be a good girl after sometime..

i got my car so now i can drive around myself =) need not trouble others already...yippie!

14102009-------------->tension or wat?

2009-10-14T21:59:00.003+08:00

so i don't know why am i having insomnia days before exam..and even during exam!*rawr* i know i need to sleep..but the problem is i couldn't fucking have a good night sleep just the day before exam..like i go to bed at 11pm..then i'll jumped up from bed at 4am latest..or maybe 5am..this is definitely a fucked up situation =/

hmm..so yah today...went to darling's hse and disturbed him first before both of us went mid valley =) he became so adorable lately..i have no idea why..simply love him more!^^ isn't it a good sign?haha..sorry that i kept ming yi waited for us for half an hour =x i'm sorry..ended up at garden's food court doing maths...

didn't do much...i hate myself!why?cox when i'm doing exercises..i can solve the questions..but..DURING THAT STUPID EXAM..i have no idea why i couldn't solve them..oh lord!it was until both of us got so bored of maths..we left the place..before that during that crazily doing maths session..haha =) i did something really bad..=P

so we had zee awesome dinrar at ITALIANES..=) muackxx muackxx... hearts my baby so much...haha...one smoked salmon pizza, one bowl of mushroom soup, 2 hot chocolates, 1 bottomless ice lemon tea and and and lots of BREADS. =) that meal made me...epic full =]

after we walked ming yi to cititel...darling dropped by at the nikon event booth...hoho =) he finally got his hand in touched with the D3X...bet he's flying sky high =p summore asked me.."why you didn't snap a pic of me when i was holding the D3X"..hahaha ^^my adorable bf..is always adorable..sorry that didn't come across my mind and that fella kept looking at me..*shy*later kena complain =x

after everything and a lil window shopping we parted off...KTM sucks!!!*rawr*i entered the !@##@ train at 7.15 pm..imagine..i shud reach home by 7.45pm when today i reached home around 8.15pm..yes..the ktm is !@#@# train...kill it!burn it!slash it!i don't mind =) hahaha...

the soundtrack in the movie "the holiday"

2009-10-13T23:43:00.002+08:00

this is definitely a nice music =) i like it especially when the violin comes in =D
is called..EPIC AWESOMENESS...
hans zimmer rock it out man! ^^

13102009-------------->i love my baby more than anything =D

2009-10-13T23:12:00.003+08:00

yah due to the fact that i'm being extremely LAZY and BUSY =/ i haven't get the time to create a new blog =) hahaha...so i'll stick to this old one first..weeeeeeee...wait till the day when i'm NO LONGER busy or lazy..hehe ^^

hmm..same old routine for almost everyday except that today when i was supposed to teach emmanuel law not really teach but to help him up you see cox no one's willing to help him =x my darling said he has got futsal going on and they counted me in..seriously that time my face went like this =.- hehe..i'm mean when i feels like it =)

i don't know it appears that whenever it comes to SUDDEN decision i get a bit urm pissed off..maybe i don't really enjoy being random..ha =P had a bit of urm misunderstanding but after we're back like before again muackxx..love you

so i tagged along to the futsal court as emmanuel couldn't make it..hmm..it was boring and urm warm there..lol? forced myself to study...a bit!you see i can't be unprepared for my law paper 2..like so wtf cox the topics i prepared for both papers all came out in paper 1..it turned out to be a total bullshit to me!RAWR!gimme something DIFFERENT please...the fuck is SI,DL,JP,HRA,LAY MAJISTRACY doing in paper 1?means..SENTENCING,CRIMINAL COURT STRUCTURE,POLICE POWERS,APPEALS and the rest of the crap will be popping out in paper 2...oh gosh!i hate reading those =x reading is FUN..memorizing is SICKENING X.X

went to the "metal beat"doctor there..my shoulder having infection AGAIN..i hate it!and it happens always WHEN I'M HAVING THOSE EXAMS..what kinda bullshit is it?grrrr....feels way better now =) hohoho...

tomorrow am meeting up with ming yi =) cute fella..haha^^happy happy...i seriously don't like the idea of my bf waiting for his best friend to get his undang exam done...when the other party hasn't even attend the 6 hours of crap talk course..and hasn't make any calls to the driving instructor yet!is already WEDNESDAY...ish...

10102009---------------->i kinda hate this day

2009-10-11T02:41:00.002+08:00

not because of all my friends are having their bday on this particular day that's why i hate it..there's always a reason for me to hate something...and i really hate it to be today..

all because of one !@#$@% thing...we ended up bidding goodnight without even a kiss...

all because of the !@@#%R thing...i ended up getting scolded by you all night in game...

all because of that !@#@$% thing...i tried so hard to cheer you up but i FAILED badly...

all because of the FUCKING CLUB...i ended up studying unhappily...

i changed my mind of going to clubs now...maybe i should give it a second thought before setting a foot inside..

been procrasticating for the whole day..not much things that i'd done...

at first i was AT PEAK when i received ur call this evening..just because i sounded like i didn't really want you to go to club I DIDN'T FUCKING STOPPED YOU FROM GOING...

if you take that as a restriction tell me you really want to go..you know i will let you go no matter how much i didn't want it..and i won't emo range you...

but it ended up that you didn't go club...so?SO?!!you said "I KNEW IT..YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO GO"...

what'd you expect me to say?yes i didn't really want you to go club so?that's because the way they drink...if it's other people i would say a yes..

nvm nvm..i ended up spending all night trying my very best to cheer you up...i know i suck at dota and i hate getting insulted by people..i still tried to game...all you did was !@$@$%# me thru out ALL the games...

and you even threatened me if i fed one more time no need to ask you for game dy...you never care did you?i felt dumbfounded cox i called you and tried to say smth to make you laugh but all you did was hmm ah oh..

i don't think it would be fair for me...just because of a club..i don't deserve the fight!!

my exam's on monday...i still need to work 2mrw...do you think that's nice?nvm nvm...watever it is..if this is all you want then go ahead..i wrote all these craps from me myself to read and not you...

if you ever read this please don't emo range me..i will fight back and i'm having exams..just leave me at peace thank you...i am starting to dislike them again =/

Eason Chan 陳奕迅---------- 沙龍

2009-10-10T10:56:00.002+08:00

this is definitely one of the epic song =)
weeeeeeeeeeee
epic singer with epic voice singing one of the epic song ^^
hahaha...uncatcable beats..flats and sharps..is owned =D
mv is AWESOME^^
hohohoho...try singing it

08102009------------> being extremely lazy

2009-10-09T05:22:00.002+08:00

Gosh~so ya..being really lazy and felt DREADFUL when i thought of my studies..and at the same time felt so pressurized when i thought of failing for the 2nd time =/ is just so WTF!! Bought my beloved papers yesterday when i went mid valley with my baby...so..obviously i felt happy and haha!! i did my maths happily without getting frust over it...

my lunchie today was AWESOME!is *finger lickin good*weeeeeeeeeeeee thanks my baby..ok i know i've been spending A LOT...just this week...fuck!and i didn't spend my own money...i used my darling's money...omg!is so bad...ish!i'm feeling extremely guilty =/ my baby is still kind and loving =) hohoho...

back to my lunchie...so we had this ITALIAN food at taman desa =) omg omg...it was simply yummylicious =D i would rate it 9/10..there's always room for improvement for everything..total bill RM 71..lol...for lunch =) home-made PIZZA...yummy salmon fettucine..uber naise mushroom soup =P worth the money...hahahaha

i was caught red-handed doing smth BAD today =/ haha

wanted to trim my hair..BUT..ish i have no idea why are they charging so expensive in TD...so i ended up didn't trim any..i'd rather save that money to go for yummy food =D weeeeeeee

had cramps and i slept all day again =) went home around 7.30pm...was waiting for cab or bus to pass by...sadly no till joey asked darling to join them for eve's gig's performance...lately i have no mood to ask them to send me around..i'd rather pay RM 5 instead of troubling them..i have my reasons for that..just not that close to them and i have no mood and don't felt like to..they'd feel like they're so great sending you here and there and is as if you owe them one whole lots of things..i dun like that feeling..so yah not gonna ask them...

hopefully i can get the car by next week you see..i can start getting lost again =) hahahaa...and discover new route..weeeeeeee

i love my baby so much...why?why?why?hahaha..

07102009-------------->silly yet happy

2009-10-07T22:07:00.002+08:00

As usual =) woke up at 5.30am...with a hungry stomach..went to the market with aunt..having the thought of studying till i finished my breakfast...i started talking to my dad..omg!we talked till..almost 8am..i was like wtf?dunid to study dy...weeeeee online checked for the info for my end of the year vacation =D weeeeeeeee......

after that went out...hmm..so ktm..BROKE DOWN again.. =/ reached darl's around 11.30am..stil having that crazy thought of touring kl..walking around..WHY?cox i bloody smart left my formula piece at home..can't do shits with my maths..you see i'm a lazy girl i don't remember formulaes.. =) wanted to sleep but i couldn't...

i told myself...well might as well just give those questions a try.. =) so i did...ouh that was when i felt so stupid...and stress...it was just mere stupidity i felt in me =/ i cried because i couldn't solve one stupid question..lots of attempts been made..and i still failed =( i wept at first then i broke down...after all the tears...i realized..it was all because of an 8 and an 18..i saw the wrong one..FUCK!so i ended up laughing at my stupidity...

well..i had a great time with my baby today...went to mid valley..he bought his flip-flops finally =) yippie!!and no matter how great is my ex..i love you and you know it..muackxx...a week till our 10th month =D happiness in the air..

just now...i had my best gift in my life after my birthday present in year 2000..my parents bought me a car...a fucking volvo =) i don't mind it being 2nd seriously...it looks BRAND NEW!so new that when i entered the car, that leather seat smell will just OH come after you...and everything look sooooooooooo NAISe!!

my car look smth like this =) with larger rims^^

i love my parents lar...especially my dad...all because he cares bout my safety...ah!i'm so lucky...i'm a lucky girl...super...uberly lucky..i have a boyfriend and parents that love me so much that words couldn't simply describe it =P *envy me*hahaha...thanks daddy..mummy and my baby =)

04102009----------being holy?

2009-10-05T02:08:00.003+08:00

hmm..i stayed awake the whole night and made that decision outta no where..that i decided to go to church this morning =)
hehe..at 6am..i was SHOCKED to see kent talking on skype...hehe..had a game and off i left the house at 7.30am...
ouh the blardy blardy train came at 7.50am...i reached the kl station by 8.10...left 5mins to walk to church..
well..me being a lazy ass..stopped a taxi and i was there JUST IN TIME =D hurray ^^ the taxi driver was nice...hehe..*God bless him*

after service...went for BRUNCH...hungry...and sat down at a kopitiam for noodles =) *slurps*
food and drinks and puffing life off... =P went to bank..WOOTS...
headed home after that..had urm a small quarrel while waiting for the bus and in the bus =/
slept my afternoon off =x

woke up around 6pm..was about to go home and aunty was cooking CURRY CHICKEN!!!omg..i always wanted to try that =)
so i stayed for dinner *drools* while waiting for that...went out for a walk..supposed to be a good one..ended up fighting =/
sorry babe...maybe it's just me being paranoid..but i'm definitely a perfectionist..
dinner done =) it was..YUMMYLICIOUS ^^
ct then messaged both of us telling us to join them for hot pot =) so i joined..knowing that my mum will kill me..weeeeeee

waiting and waiting...8.15pm..a sudden blackout =O haha...whole jalan desa utama blackout..lol
finally at 8.30 he came and fetched us off...to sunway...for...kim gary?duno?
so it was kim gary at first...and finally seated at station one cafe =)
hmm..impressive this station one was way way way better compared to the one in OUG.. ={
mum called and potong stim..hahahaha...

left at 11pm...dad called..asked me get him his vit C and food..
reached home at 12am..why?wrong route =/ sigh sorry

p/s: can i have my car so i won't trouble others?lemme be the drivers instead... =)

to-DO-list

2009-10-04T03:53:00.003+08:00

yah all these should be done by the end of the year 2009 =)

OCT
1. a-lvls comes first before evrything =) so yah..STUDY HARD...STUDY SMART..
2. mum's birthday ...cake?
3. be well prepared for that november papers..^^

NOV
1. hehe...slim down =)
2. econs!!SCORE IT ...
3. langkawi =P
4. darling's bday? a lil surprise maybe?

DEC
1. pangkor first...
2. langkawi 2nd...
3. genting?
4. christmas....woooo....where?
5. NEW YEAR'S EVE...where to?where to?
6. ima get myself into one of the clubs this year... =P

03102009-----------mooncake festival

2009-10-04T03:34:00.002+08:00

so ya...the mooncake festival is here again =) i used to enjoy eating mooncake alot...but..urm i don't really fancy them much..i don't know why...things changed along with time.. =/ and i don't really like it...but hell we'll need to move on with our life..aint it?

i enjoy looking at the full moon...sadly..today i saw one dimmed and a crooked moon...not really crooked..just not as round as last time =) bah...so all we did in grandma's house today was...eat, game, sing, burnt and DRINK =D

all i did was eat, sing and drink..i don't game...i don't burnt anymore..haha..eating is always the first thing i do there.. =P the singing part just came in outta no where cox uncles suddenly wanted to sing k at home..so yah~ then then that drinking part was the funniest..

i asked one of the uncles to bring me to a club =) suddenly before i left..they chucked me half a bottle of heineken..the other uncle pushed the heineken away and gave me quarter glass of whiskey instead with ice of course =) i don't like whiskey smell..and this is when smething horrible happened..very smart of them to mix both whiskey and beer..i down-ed everything and they said OUH GONE!really need to bring her go club dy...she can drink..LOL =)

i love you uncles..haha...then aunty connie gave me a heart 2 heart talk...was really touched and i cried..wtf ? yah i cried...urm..it reminds me of wat had lead me of becoming like this =/ i don't know but a promise has to be carried out..so yah!stay tuned =)

nothing much and movie tomorrow...weeeeeee living my life to the fullest with my family and my darling =) i love you guys =D muackxx...muackxx...muackxxx

SHOULD i? or should i NOT?

2009-10-02T03:15:00.002+08:00

omg..is tough and it isn't easy when it comes to the end...of making a decision..
i'm not really decisive when things became like this..
there are stuffs that i couldn't decide and i ended up at the junction don't know where to turn..
ex: NOW...

was having this itchy brain just now that i went and clicked on the old post...
well after i read most of them..holy shit fuck!
i went emoranging with my memories... =/
especially the memories of year 2007...
most likely it would be the worst year of my life i think =x

and so yea...most probably i'll change my blog...
i'll just close this one down as a private blog..
and then get a new one...
let it be a new beginnning...
wat'd you think so?

p/s: pretty mum said i should =) 1 vote to YES...0 to NO

30092009------------>filled with guilt

2009-10-01T01:04:00.002+08:00

urgh...i'm so sorry mah friend =/ miss vanny...aiyoh..haiy...so sorry for putting you into great trouble...T_T

anyway..today i went college BECAUSE i had a sesi with guna...okay..so i woke up lATE...and rushed out..*raining pulak*...my brain was telling me..hmm..lets get back to sleep..but i was determined to go college today..so------------I WALKED in and out, up and down...the house..i couldn't find my portable brolly =S

woke up mah mum...fetched me there..and gosh!the train arrived when i was purchasing ticket..I RAN as fast as i could to catch up with it..don't wanna be late for that sesi..fuck it lar!KTM is just so fucked up..i pressed on the buttons so many times..IT JUST WON'T FUCKING OPEN THE TRAIN DOORS..the train passed T_T wtf wtf..

hmm..next...when i took WANTED to take bus to darling's place..i saw 3 buses lining up in front of me..so i walked ASAF to see the numbers...just when i reached the 1st..the door shut..WTF...i was almost there...T_T the people in the bus looked at me and the bus left..i had no choice but to take a bus to mid valley then take a cab...waiting for the same bus would be an hour later...

bathed and continued with my maths..hmm...i see IMPROVEMENTS =) praise Lord...really...you know i sensed the God is urm..somehow guiding me back...because HE knows that i didn't really study much..that's why he MADE me felt more energetic during the night so that i could coupe up with my studies...although i had only 2 hours of sleep a day..still i don't really feel tired.. ^^

so off we went to taylors PJ right after fatty lum is done with his shower...STILL..we got ourselves stucked in that CRAZYMANIC jam in federal highway..made a turning into jln templer to hit the other way out...finally reached that place 45 mins LATE =/ i'm so sorry...it was really JAM...and because ct has his class till around 6pm when he came and picked us all up..there's nobody to blaime..just the TRAFFIC...

every year so many tourist visited our country..as a matter of fact we should be earning quite a lot.. BUT where the hell did all the money went?can't the stupid gov just spent like few millions getting better trains for KTM?!seek IMPROVEMENT please...urgh =/

malaysians really need to grow up i duno why..there aint much civilised citizens in here..for example, i'm not one =) hahaha..

hit me baybeh one more time =)

2009-09-30T04:13:00.002+08:00

oi penyampah...ms TAN...
please study =/ sob.....i really need to study
see wat am i doin here?
@#!#$$%#$^%#%^

can someone just gimme one shot of drugs that will get my hands back to the books?
zomfg O.O
i'm like having the books on the lap but...
wtf i stared at the laptop screen most of the time...
SHIT!
!@#@#%$#$^%

urgh urgh study study study
you know yourself well enough that you won't wanna fail for another time..
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

bye =x

28092009------------>i fell down in the end =)

2009-09-28T23:33:00.002+08:00

so..yesterday this fat lady here went celebrating khadijah's and lekka's bday with the whole crazy gang =) haha..daddy was supposed to fetch us..ish mana tau he went and fetched jeff and the other 2 guys..so..ya in the end me and darling took a taxi to endah parade =) well cox kong went sg.besi to fetch mah pretty mum and also the ayah!

anyway..it was about 2pm when we reached there..thanks to fatty lum cox he ffk last minute again..funny fella...hmm..nth much and i entered the roller skating rink with a strange feeling..*i dah long time din skate*..dare not go really face like how i did last time...i'm a shy person and is SUPER embarassing when you fall in front of the crowd..i dislikes failures...

after an hour of catching up with my speed..i started going fast like how i used to do so..all went well..UNTIL..when i tried to go chase my beloved darling..suddenly i lost my balance..and FELL..omg!!that's was like..2 great slaps to me.. =/ painful...reminds me of the times when i fell so many times just to get on the blades 13 years ago..when i first started it..sob*

so yea..when i checked it during that lil break time of mine..oops!bengkak dy =x aku ni bayi tau haha..nth much...then i got so tired of it dy..so i sat down and chat lu..with the rest of them..oh ya!that gang was MEAN!they clapped when i fell =S embarassed la..

hmm..jeff's gf is such a nice girl..lol and of course my pretty mum..didn't get to talk to kong's gf..hehe^^ maybe some other day =) so ya..i found one more person to teach me maths dy =D less to worry about..YAhoooooooooo

after those happy moments..when everyone's tired of skating..DINNER time =) hehe..KFC..ayah belanja us =D ouh thanks ayah..lol..why is he my ayah cox he's my mama's gf.. =) i have a very complicated family =P after that went home..took that train walked home myself..and online..lol very great..i actually..dozed off in front of my laptop..muahahaha..quite proud of it..as this don't happen often you see..so yah..i went to bed at 12 SHARP!..we shall then call it off for a day =D

*ouh i love you guys..muackx..^_*

definitely PISSED off...

2009-09-27T01:50:00.002+08:00

wanna know why?the first lazy mention dy...2nd one..TODAY I NEED TO GO WORK..wat's the reason?because daddy,mummy and stupid brother got SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT TO DO..mind that REALLY IMPORTANT...

so..i woke up at 10...waited for ppl till 12.45..none of them turned up...and i went to the shop without having brunch or anything...i thought WAT'S SO IMPORTANT...well they said they HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE and i was left alone in the shop with 2 other workers from 2pm till 9.30pm...

had that mcD for lunchie..and rot myself to dead...realized that i've wasted lotsa time so i did some maths...okay...they were so busy to pick me up even after i work..can you take a cab home?wtf...well it's getting scarier lately..and so i called that best guy mr.simon =) muahahahaha..he's just SO NICE..thank you ^^

so i got this free driver and free dinner...YIPPIE!that silly fella lost his directions again =/ sad aint it?haiy...

so i was busy adjusting that template of another shared blog...and FINALLY...they are home..guess what i saw?FISHING RODS!wow..i thought wat's so important...they went FISHING with their friends...while you guys were enjoying..i rot myself to death...very happy indeed...

then i wanna bath...one word..WEIYA...fucker got to use the toilet first..try to put urself in this situation and imagine...they never say they're going fishing but said please help daddy got something really IMPORTANT TO DO...

and yes..i wana scream WAT THE FUCK!cox all you guys cared about is how's today's business?just gtfo...

25092009------------>happy birthday andy =)

2009-09-25T04:14:00.002+08:00

so..yea today's anderson ang's bday...may you have a sweet 19th =) haha...okay..i was still struggling whether or not to go to this fella's birthday party 2 days ago..FYI i didn't study much these few days so i actually felt guilty if i would ever attend it..and at the same time guilty for not attending it...dumb aint it?had dilemma over such lil things =/ but hell yea that's me =)

anyway...just right after i made up my mind wednesday(i decided not to go)...mum came into my room asking if i saw her torch light plug..then i just wanted to try see wat would her reaction be when she found out that i'm still about to attend birthday party at this very very time..UNEXPECTEDLY..she said go ask ur dad if he knows bout the place...we'll go pick you up that night...

urm i was like O.O when she said ok =D hahaha...so i called anderson and he said he'll get the address for me..BUT I WANNA STAY OVER...what i did was i went out and gave my mum a crap talk...woohoo...she said do wat you want in the end =) spot my smile...^^ yah..yah yah...so i'm going to the party and i'm staying over =P epic happiness...

aite..24th of sept..justin's grandpa passed away due to H1N1...that's kinda sad..that stupid H1N1 is scary..take care everyone...

p/s: i just sent in a request to hitz.fm morning crew so that they will GOTCHA mr. birthday boi..hmm i hope they did it =) you see cox that lazy boi will never visit my blog nor did he know bout my blog..weeeeeeee

memories scattered all over.. >"<

2009-09-23T19:30:00.002+08:00

have you ever tried to put scatters memories back into a piece?
that is what i've been trying all this while...
those memories are just like the missing pieces of the puzzles above...
there's no way to find them back...
i'm wondering what i could do...wtF!
i need my motivation to get back to study...please..
give me the motivation and i'll give you the love =) i promise... ^^

Lifehouse ------ Broken

2009-09-22T17:53:00.001+08:00

From LYRICSMODE.COM lyrics archive

Song lyrics | Broken lyrics

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is the healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hangin' on to the words you say
You said that I will, will be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, having forgot my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on

sometimes i'm just being outdated

2009-09-21T18:53:00.002+08:00

well...i'd just watched "the holiday" online..well...it was a great movie..though i don't really fancy romance movie but yeah!that movie was GREAT!
hmm..i cried i wept. so wat?it wasn't all about romance after all.
sometimes i just had this lil thinking that movie did reviewed what we did in our lives.
Our contributions to the society made part of the ingredients in the movie.
Why would you find certain genre of movie predictable that's because our lives been going same. It has become our daily routine. And somehow it was showed in the movie, that's why we could predict the outcome.
long distance relationship wouldn't work. if you told me that 2 years ago yes, i wouldn't believe it and i would think it's a total crap.
Someone taught me all these, someone brought me up! and thanks to that someone, i started to think better now.
As a matter of fact...sometimes i'm afraid that i couldn't handle my relationship well. Is that true?i really wonder.
On top of those silly moments we had, i really want to know wat you could give me besides not ditching me.
I received a very wonderful forwarded mail from a friend. The contents were: cherish the person who went through all the things with you. A new one might be attractive but still you would then appreciate the old one more. That's because you know the old one better and there are still mysteries over the new one.
SHOULD I OR SHOULD I NOT?

18092009------------->i'm filled with fire..NOW!

2009-09-19T01:05:00.002+08:00

just because we live in MALAYSIA doesn't meant that you people are the greatest of all...
just because IT'S RAYA..doesn't meant that even you as an employee gets to get a day off earlier..
RAYA then raya lar..wat's so great about it?
come to talk about it..ALL BECAUSE OF RAYA.........i need to work TOMORROW...
all because of RAYA!i need to SUDDENLY cancel all my programmes for tomorrow..
i seriously don't felt like giving it a piece of shit...DID ANY OF YOU CARES BOUT WAT AM I GONNA DO?no..the answer is one fucking great no!

imagine...if your employer is MR.M...if you asked for a day off for CNY...do you think they're gonna care?
JUST BECAUSE OF ONE FUCKING RAYA...now..wat?you need a day off and you don't even inform EARLIER?
you don't bother like you think I'D bother?

never let me see any of you...fucker waste my hell lot of time...
and yes i'm seriously pissed off right now!

just because you're my mum...you have something to do tomorrow doesn't meant that i'm DEFINITELY GONNA BE FREE FOR YOU!
cox when i need you to be free..when were you free for me?
DON'T ARGUE..cox you're never free...mcb!

better stay away from me before i start flaming around...

i felt offended

2009-09-18T11:19:00.001+08:00

just so you know....sometimes i don't tell doesn't meant that i don't feel it!

NOW YOU KNOW I REALLY FELT OFFENDED...DON'T EVER INSULT ME OR..............

you shall begone =D

16092009------------------>a ninth month =)

2009-09-16T16:25:00.002+08:00

lol lol...is 16th of the ninth month for the year again...well =) another month anniversary..hmm..it's been a long way isn't it?like 270 days dy...haha so fast!hmm..so ya!exam in another month...wtf!?ish...i hate it...bah!gonna bear with it and get it over ASAP!can't wait to get outta hell..

well 2mrw will be tenji day =) weeeeeee i see sushi(S) i see ICE CREAMS...ouh i see FOOOOOOOOOD!! i see HANDS flying outta them calling after my name =) weeeeeeeeee...out for eating sessions with Ejinn and kwai..muahahaha =P is a must for us and is a promise..once a month yes!

okay..i guess i'll need to get back to study now...nothing much to update tho..life been a bit crazy lately..just decided not to over study..well...been playing around..jumping around ALOT!to the extend my parents worried like hell cox I DIDN'T STUDY AT ALL =S awwwfully...sad... T_T

get my hands of the laptop....in 10 mins time =) till then...ciaoz

05092009--------------->a month of working in a law firm =)

2009-09-05T11:34:00.003+08:00

well this would one great update of me working in a law firm for the past month =D the pay was just okay..well is the experiences that counts right? hehe....i'm just tooooo lucky to have really great lawyers that are very passionate about their job and are willing to teach...the colleagues were good ones as well..start off it in a hardway but ended with an easy one =P haha..throughout the whole month..lotsa mistakes had been made..lotsa things had happened..time management is REALLY IMPORTANT in working life especially when you need to multi task..

ok i didn't snap any of the pictures..for those snap shots you can always visit my facebook lol lol...hmm...life changed quite a lot! and of course i've been dragging my laziness and days for posting...haha..yupe!haven't been updating my blog right?yah that's me...so well that day after last day of work i went...klcc for movie with my baby of course =D "final destination 4"...another great movie suggested by me who hates it horror movie the most..ish!i seriously need to overcome that =) well..normal storyline..disgusting scenes...never rate any of these movies..haha

after that..been spending alot with my salary..yes and i'm back to a poor girl...hmm..well went back to college..urgh i dun find any urge to get into class =( i don't know why..how? fei zai tutored me on my econx..very nice and helpful of him..if i ever happened to score well in my econx i BUY YOU LUNCH!weeeeeeeeeeee hmm..then then up next...went to kent's house and there i found wei ken the lil boi and james..LOL lar!

dinner at kenny roger's and the next day 090909...went for the law firm buka puasa dinner after that..being a very good girl..i went to baby's house and joined the rest of them for SAKAE session..hohoho =) lets see the guest list: baby, wei ken, james, justin, daddy, anderson, fatty lum, melissa...muahahaha...fatty,wei ken and james...ALL DEAD!lol la...daddy din drink cox he needs to send me home =) very nice of him..weeeeeeeeeeeeee

ok..so i got home around 3.30am..very good record right?hahaha...the next day...thanks to the dumbass train late for class dy so i didn't go..hmm..back to baby's house and i found 2 drunktards awake..wtf?haha..well after that..went lunchie with fatty and anderson...night..eve asked us out to laundry bar..lol!drove all the way down and eve went home?haha..rot ourselves to dead at MCD at curve..back home around 12.30am...haiyo haiyo..very good girl indeed...

friday..yesterday...woke up in the morning and didn't get the right mood to go college..so off i stayed home and study...very hardworking...never in my life i woke up and i stayed in the room study instead of online..haha...when jack's back from school..i miss that boi so i brought him to baby's place with me..makan at the pasar malam!weeeeee finally i tried daddy's asam laksa..YUMMILICIOUS =P

today..another hardworking day..home day..sleep, study, sms-ing, till the very last minute only i went on9..very good =D i should keep my life like this hahaha...

*sorry for the jumbled up post..am being really lazy =D

16082009--------->i wonder if you would bother to read

2009-08-16T23:43:00.000+08:00

i wonder and i really really wonder...if you even bother to read my blog after so long!i updated it every now and then but it seems you didn't even give a damn about it since june =0 well...i know you're always busy..and TIRED..i'm sorry because i don't know how exhausted would it be to read my crazy blog..yes you might say that i'm having pms or something today..whatever it is that you're gonna say i'll just ignore it for just this moment..i need to let it all out!

well i really think that there's problem communicating with you...whether it's me or you..it's just WEIRD!i would be so lost of words when i tried to talk to you not because of the happiness but the sadness...it's actually killing me indirectly..i have no idea why...maybe i'm one self-torturious girl or something...to be frank i don't enjoy having twistered feelings all day long..sudden happiness or sudden sadness...it would drive me crazy =(

i hope you understand how all this things would made me feel when i have jumbled up feelings..is a total turn down for me..a total disaster..sometimes i would rather i'm a single lady..and yet sometimes i'm glad having you there..i sound contradicting..but it's just exactly how i felt like NOW!i hate you and i love you at the same time...*grrrrr

the stage play-----"wish upon a crane"

2009-08-16T22:49:00.002+08:00

hmm...came across with this play during my a-lvls..being told by a friend...he invited me to watch it instead of helping it out...well..during that period of time i really had no mood to think about it at all..i was busy preparing exams..and after exams he didn't asked me again nor did he reminded me about the play...

right after my exam..after that lil trip to genting..i worked my ass off as an assistant bartender...till the end of july...and then i was free after that so i asked..if he needs any assistants or something..i don't mind being in the back stage helping out..as i wasn't really into acting lately =( so...i went for the first practice session few days after i resigned...

to be honest..i wasn't quite glad about the practice session..well i didn't played any part of the role in the play so i didn't really comment much about it...me,james and shaun..basically we STONED there most of the time =)

2 days before the stage play...we were busy practicing in taylors..musics first then lightings...well..being an assistant stage manager isn't easy...you'll need to take care of EVERYTHING...and is everything besides the stage..haha..for me..i'll leave the stage to the director..the rest of it..i'll try my best to make it the best!

hurm...all in all!the play turned out to be AWESOME..thanks for the help given by everyone..especially the crews from taylors...thanks a lot for helping me out...if i were to be too harsh to you..this is my apology..the cast!well done everyone...all the runners...ZILLIONS THANKS...to shaun, to james, to eleazor, to mingyi, to ivan, to andrew, to finn, to eng chun, to sin yee, to ken wei, to bryan, to sandra and more more more more more!can't really list em all out...but definitely thanks a lot guys!

the cast did a great job on the stage..we all did perform our best besides the stage.. =D i love you people...i'm sorry james and shaun..if i ever did offended you during the preparation of props and during the play...

looking forward to the after party!!!and of course...the re-stage...i hope the YB really did carried it out..haha ^^

urm...hurm...zhapalang =D

2009-08-09T08:25:00.002+08:00

wokay...so i attended mei kuan's party...from pyjamas to red t-shirt..hmm..at least i made it this time =D it was a shocked news that just right before the party i got a job at the law firm..and all i did was..i rushed home straight after my boring day at the firm...seriously..i'm just not that kind of girl that would sit still in a place without doing anything...so please..KEEP ME BUSY!

well the party was fun...although only the 8 of us..yah my darling went with me...i feel BAD IF I ABANDON him..muahaha...carrie went with her boyfriend too...JJ,JACKSON,ESTHER and our pretty host------- MEI KUAN...had pizzas...junk foods...and fun time teasing that plump jj..haha ^^ i was died off around 1am..so apparently i went up to the room and took a short nap =) jj,jackson,esther and mei kuan were still chatting down stairs..HAPPILY..lol! it was too warm in the room...so i got up like an hour later..my blood be too sweet that the mosquitoes love me so much...

darling was sleeping while i went downstairs and chat with the 4 of them...hmm..so different people have different kinda lifestyle now...and ah hah! i made my mind after all those talk...it was fun =) by the time we ended the talk was already 4am..i actually need to shoo esther home...she made us worry sick...driving home alone in the morning..wth! seriously exhausted after working and being crazy the whole night...

so because we forgotten to buy poker cards..all of us ended up watching this disgusting and boring horror movie -------" book of blood"...muahaha..again..i got shocked and i SCREAMED..sorry people..they actually had a great shocked...weeeeeee =P

ah!went for a breakfast session with PY after mei kuan sent darling to work...i really had the feeling of not going for any breakfast and just sleep for the rest of the day...effing tired..but i just didn't see this young lady for too long...haha =) so...lol she ended up coming with her boyfriend..well maybe it's just me...i'm the one being particular bout this thing i guess..i just don't really enjoy going out with my friend and their dates...you see first because i don't really know their dates of something..second i just don't enjoy being the "light bulb"...very very WEIRD...i'm sorry...

at the same time i felt tired..so after that breakfast i went home straight and from 12pm i simply slept till 9pm which is when my mum woke me up...happy moments happy dreams during my sleeping session..haha =)

didn't sleep just now and i watched the movie "sepet"...i rated it...SUPER GOOD compared to the other local movies xD..before that had a round of dota with jackson...lion pwns it all =D urm..argh!nothing much...

something i found in jackson's blog =)

2009-08-06T03:27:00.003+08:00

1. Get to know yourself better..

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

this is just so true about me..everything.. =) lol

2. The Real You

You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

well..i'll just say yes and no at the same time...let it be in between =D

resources from: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

haha =) may you ppl have a good laugh at the video =D

2009-08-04T07:30:00.002+08:00

my overall life =) since the day i resigned =D

2009-08-02T05:22:00.002+08:00

well well...my last day of work would be 26th of july...it has been a week since i last worked my ass off =( seriously dying of boredom at home now...urgh more of a rotten egg =D i've tried so hard that i changed my entire biological clock UPSIDE-DOWN...when the others(basically those that have a life out there) get up and do something useful to their live..i SLEEP...when they're getting ready to sleep..that's the time when i feel at peak..the feeling is like as if i'm living in UK..or just somewhere far away from msia...

hmm..so my entire family paid a visit to el cerdo...for dinner..the place that i worked at..okay..the food was AWESOME...suckling pig was rated 2.5 stars..feedback was kinda terrible..the ribs was the best dish among all..still i had my best rasberry milkshake which is off the menu..it was randomly made by my "shifu" the other day and i love it =D..boss was one kind man..what he did was for my better future but IT'S DEFINITELY KILLING ME RIGHT NOW!and i'm sure that it's gonna happen soon...not now...BUT SOON!!!rawr!!

i'd done watching all the dramas that i got from ching...finished all 4 alex rider's series that i took from darling...unfortunately..I BOUGHT THE WRONG TWILIGHT SERIES BOOK TODAY...haiy...bought the last instead of first..alex rider left hanging..i was told that the book is only sold in UK..*sigh* books are addictive..never let me get in touch with one or i'll crave for more..you might think that i'm some sort of nerd there..BUT that's me..don't doubt it!

i should be sleeping now...yet i couldn't...thanks to that "haunted scream" that poped out from outta no where..i have no idea WHERE!whether it's from someone's blog or just you know..."haunted"...so..I'M WIDE AWAKE RIGHT NOW(is almost 6am T_T)!i did tried watching that movie twilight just now..it's just another romance movie to me..not much of a special thing..the only part that i find it exciting should be the ending part where the cullen's family moved out from the place(i'd forgotten the name) in order to save bella..and i couldn't continue because megavideo doesn't allow me to do so =(

urmm...i wanted to watch "the taking of pelham 123" tho..should be a nice one..haha ^^ thriller...i'd prefer the book i guess...movies creates imaginations in my brain =( and if it's gonna be thriller or horror movie..there goes my night...

am working on a stage play with shaun and james and others now...as an assistant stage manager..well i was given this opportunity and therefore i approached shaun and told him i would help him up with the stage and stuff...well..i'd say it's an extremely sad stage play..no doubt the players played it well besides the "mother" so far..keep it up guys!it's my personal op. afterall..

pc fair's on the run..this time...the girls that posed for the games ARE WAY PRETTIER than the previous one..sorry..but is the truth..mom bought one ee pc from asus on the first day..tomorrow will be the third day...went with darling on the second day tho..sakae sushi for dinner =D fingerlicking GOOD =P had my worst ice cream from gelato place i think...i'd always described those as.."cow dunk" ice cream...can't really remember which fella always scold me for critisizing other's ice cream...but that ice cream is SUCKY!melted so fast and...tasted just like those 2 bucks ice cream nothing special..cone was EXTREMELY SMALL...

had a fight with parents...they're just being ridiculous..you're my dad and you're my mum...please say something reasonable if you wanna scold me..don't try to be ridiculous and tell me that i should respect you after all those nonsense..it doesn't make sense at all =( i was upset that you said yes..your dad was ridiculous and that whatever he said doesn't make sense at all BUT YOU SHOULD SHUT UP and NOT FIGHT BACK...what the fucking hell on earth was that?urgh...whatever you say...bah!boring...

tagged by pik yee =)

2009-07-29T04:32:00.003+08:00

1. What have you been doing recently?
rotting at home after i'd resigned =) preparing for the stage play tho..as an assisstant stage manager =D

2. Do you ever turn your handphone off?
nope..nope =P dun think so..

3. What happened at 10am today?
happily sleeping...=D

4. When did you last cry?
last week =S

5. Believe in Fate/Destiny?
yes... =(

6. What do you want in life now?
all the happiness that i'll have for the rest of my life =) sadness shooshoo..

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or put up your hood?
NO..and never..is a hassle carrying it =(

8. What's your favorite thing to do in bed?
uh huh...to read?to sleep?o.o

9. What bottoms are you wearing now?
red botshorts =)

10. What are the nicest things in your inbox?

tonnes and tonnes of forwarded e-mails

11. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
no and never =)

12. Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?
no

13. What was the last movie you caught?
unfortunately..it was the movie that turned me down =( harry potter =S

14. What are you proud of?
me...

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say and who is it from?
one random fella..about the differences of mistresses and wives =)

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
uh huh...can't remember =(

17. Do you have any nicknames?

weeeeeeeeee...yes =D

18. What does the newest text message say and who is it from?
haiyo....my darling...is written there nope =D

19. What time did you sleep last night?
awesomeness

20. Are you currently happy?
hmm...yah!no?yah!no?yah lar....weeeeeeeeee

21. Who gives you the best advice?

the one and only one...weeee i know and it shall always be in my heart =D

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
no..tarak..too oily =S

23. Who did you talk to on the phone last night?
none gua...

24. Is something bugging you right now?
YES...normal issues =(

25. Who is the last person to make you laugh?
ah huh...flends =) my daddy lor..haha...his faked death

26. Do you like yourself?
YES =)

27. You want $5 or $10?

for wat?from who?

28. Do you think you are stupid sometimes?

everytime =S haiy...

29. What will you do if you like that girl/boy?
be myself =D

30. Who are your favourite stars?
lol...lots of them..my jay..my lp..my darling..my family..my friends =)

31. You hate your mother sometimes in some ways?
not really hate..just pissed off =D

32. Do you had even stead before?
o.O apani?

33. What type of girl/boy do you like?
great question =D one guy that will be by my side..and listen to my sadness..my problems..a guy with heart =(

34. Now are you single/attached?
dah taken lar...my darling =) and i love him...

35. Tag 10 friends

1) agnes teh

2) jasmine

3) shaun

4) fatty tom

5) jaywhy

6) JJ

7) Daryl

8) Justin

9) E Jinn

10) Esther

you're so near and yet so far..

2009-07-24T06:04:00.002+08:00

in reality..you're miles and miles away from me..

in my dreams..you're just so close..

to the extend that i could easily reach out for you...

the one who had the ability to pull me out from my fantasies and left me behind..

the one that told me how cruel the reality would be..

you forgotten your promises and you kept NONE!

you left them in my heart swarming through my dreams...

you made no effort in fulfilling them...

and yet..i still had that lil' hope...hoping that those promises would come true...

i wonder how you felt right now...

and i wonder how are you...

i'm always wondering and haven't been told any of those feelings besides i love you..

lets make it a role play and you shall try looking from my view..

maybe you would see no differences at all and maybe you would sense the same..

life is just unpredictable and yet i tried so hard to predict it..

why predict it?when you can just sit there and wait...

i'm tired of all these...i just need a break...

please forgive me...lotsa lies have been told..

sometimes i just don't want to burden you..i'm sorry darling =(

15072009------------>one LONG update..

2009-07-15T03:01:00.002+08:00

not bad..not bad...last update was on the 30th of june =D i would just update this post in chinese...i realized that i haven't been using my mother tongue for such long time that i almost abandoned it..all the grammar mistakes.. =(

七月，一个我不知道是好还不坏的月份。。真的不知道。。很多的不开心和很多的开心都发生了。。
开心的就是我做工作到这个月底就不用再作了。。哈哈！再也看不到那个肥婆咯。。真开心！^^
我的学弟去世了。。哈哈！觉得我在开玩笑吗？我也很希望我是在开玩笑的。。我真的很想！很希望我自己是在过着愚人节。。。
星期日，逛街逛一半，一通电话过来。。“你记得谁是明泽吗？” “我记得。。mashi的弟弟嘛。。”
之后就是。。 “今天早上他走journey的时候，遇车祸，现在在医院动手术。。” “哦，那他出来在告诉我怎样了。。那个很可爱的小弟弟。。没有错？” “没有。。”
好啦。。。之后就这样没有消息到下午5点，“喂，他怎样了？” “mashi说医生刚弄好他的内脏，现在弄着他的手。。” “oo..那你迟点再打给我拉。。”
就这样，晚上11点，简讯来了。。 “他从手术室出来了，还不能自己呼吸。。”
看到这里，总是会觉得靠着那个呼气管，过了几天就大概会好了，醒来了。。对，我有时候就是会如此的乐观。。。放松了一整天紧绷在心理的感觉。。
我还想说，他以后会如何告诉他的朋友过马路时真的要很小很小心。。然后心理狠狠的诅咒那个撞了他就走的笨蛋司机！
第二天，也就是星期一，看到那个肥婆已经很不爽了，竟然还要被她间接侮辱我。。妈的！如果他不是我的supervisor，你看我鸟不鸟他？！一看手机，就是两个未接电话，一封简讯。。“明泽去世了”。。这个是在我最不爽的时候收到的消息。。看着那封简讯，我真的楞着了。。我不知道我可以做什么。。电话响了，我接。。另外一头是一个女孩的哭声。。很伤心，我找不到适当的词句来形容我的心情。。
真的很难以置信，我什么都做不到。。没有一个人做得到东西。。如果他走了，他就不用受苦的话，那他走吧。。明泽，安息！一个在每个人都duty着会来慰问你的小男孩，就是他了。。总是挂着开心的笑容来问候你的一天。。
报章竟然没有登这则新闻？果然是马来西亚。。这个国家养活了一个不负责任的司机却失去了一条宝贵的生命。。但愿那个司机不会有好日子过。。撞了就逃，不为自己的过错负起责任的，根本不是大丈夫的行为。。

the blog that wouldn't be update again... http://anti-diu-diu.blogspot.com/
there you go the little junior..may you rest in peace..we miss you...

thank you mr low.

2009-06-30T04:02:00.004+08:00

thank you my beloved boyfriend..

thanks for the love...

thanks for the care...

thanks for giving in when i'm being really really ridiculous..

thanks for cooking for me =P is really yummylicious..

thanks for staying with me all the while..

thanks for killing off all my brain cells so that my brain could produce new ones..

thanks for being so tolerant...and intolerant sometimes =P

lots to thanks..

and i appreciate it MUCH!thank you =)

and love you always..muackxx...

heart you always babe =)

sean kingston----------------replay

2009-06-26T03:59:00.002+08:00

Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out
Got me singin' like
Na na na na everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay (2x)

Remember the first time we met
You was at the mall wit yo friend
I was scared to approach ya
But then you came closer
Hopin' you would give me a chance

Who would have ever knew
That we would ever be more than friends
We're real worldwide, breakin all the rules
She like a song played again and again

That girl, like somethin off a poster
That girl, is a dime they say
That girl, is a gun to my holster
She's runnin through my mind all day, ay

Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out
Got me singin' like
Na na na na everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay (2x)

See you been all around the globe
Not once did you leave my mind
We talk on the phone, from night til the morn
Girl you really change my life
Doin things I never do
I'm in the kitchin cookin things she likes

We're real worldwide, breakin all the rules
Someday I wanna make you my wife
That girl, like somethin off a poster
That girl, is a dime they say
That girl, is the gun to my holster
She's runnin through my mind all day, ay

Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out
Got me singin' like
Na na na na everyday
It's like my ipon stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay (2x)

I can be your melody
A girl that could write you a symphony
The one that could fill your fantasies
So come baby girl let's sing with me
Ay, I can be your melody
A girl that could write you a symphony
The one that could fill your fantasies
So come baby girl let's sing with me

Ay, na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Shawty got me singin
Na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na
Now she got me singin

Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out
Got me singin' like
Na na na na everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay (2x)

=================================================================================================

one new addiction...muahaha..heard it on hitz..and i'm in love with this song =) soooo naise =P

can't sleep again..

2009-06-25T07:39:00.003+08:00

bah!insomnia back...ish ish ish!

i wonder why is this stupid sickness always happened to me...fucking hate it!

especially when i already done all my exams..and i need to work..

sigh....life aint that easy after all....

was playing typing maniac throughout the night...seriously life less..

i need to do something more valuable...and not just sit there like a dumbass...

sigh...sigh..

uploaded few more shots from genting onto facebook...kinda lazy tho...

eww...i wanna sleep!!!!!!!!!

24062009------------------>life lately..

2009-06-24T00:20:00.011+08:00

well well well..i'm one girl that has itchy ass and i couldn't stay still in a place for a long long time..is suicide for me..besides reading books..ok reading a book aint doing nothing =) fell sick 2 days ago..for NO REASON..ish!working life not that easy...not that tough as well..just bear with it..i'm cool with it...still no car yet...uncle leong..please get me one ASAP!!need it...URGENTLY!!!ish..humph! seriously lifeless..sleep...stoned...eat...work...been repeating the same old life for err 3 days?and then it became WORST..eww..that sucks..

been putting on weight lately..my losing weight plan in 2 months shall just forget bout it..been EATING NON STOP..my fucking god!free chocolate cake..free food..free fried pork skin...free pork...free drinks...ALL FREE!effing lucky aint it?hehehe..too bad i'm having SORE EYES...fucking having carrot colours eyes..ish~fugly...and is like water tap...why the hell on earth that tears kept rolling down for nothing?i aint crying..just HATE IT!hate falling sick..hate it hate it! =(

hmm..i got my cd..muahahaha...now that i could share the pictures here..weeeeeeeee

see the eskimo in genting =)

the normal couple and the abnormal one =D

ya allah..i worship ur undies ^^

this is total speechless

2 tired people =(

*hugs*

shaving creams!see the difference?

sweeeeeeto!

2 silly people =)

welcome to msia

i like this =)

the real and the fake muahahaha

err?

too many to upload..lol...so that's all =) imagine 494 shots..hard to pick...hehe =D

16062009----------------->half a year already

2009-06-16T03:29:00.002+08:00

haha..thank you my beloved boyfriend..for keeping me BUSY for the past 6 months..thanks a lot...seriously appreciated it much..yah and i know i've been saying this lotsa times..i jux had the urge to say it over and over again kent zhuzhu i love you!you've been one great guy that changed my life..upside down in and out =) there are good and bad changes..well i'll just accept them muahaha and live them on ^^

well...we've made one really great trip to genting and haha ONE GREAT MOVIE INTRODUCED BY ANDERSON^^ thank you sooooo much..." DRAG ME TO HELL" one great american movie that muahahaha...you guys should scream with me!yippie..didn't went genting for 2 nights..due to some problem..but we did made it there for one great night of stay...that whole gang be super duper gay (is a fact please dun deny it!)...but great one tho...i had great memories..well..crazy minds are always well connected!!!

EXAM is over.....FINALLY OVER!!!!yippie yaya!! ^^ for whatever it is the result will be..we'll face it during august..i won't stay emo all day because i knew i did real BAD...sigh * why?reasons be because i DIDN'T STUDY lor....i PLAYED too much dy...i DAY DREAMED too much...anymore?well have no idea..been worrying bout my love life a lot...afraid of breaking up and stuffs..yes!why?cox i had phobia ending up my 5th month and proceeding it to the 6th...i'm sorry babe...i really was in great tense last month..i hope you understand..

hmm...lets talk bout my exam then~FUCKING MATHS paper almost made me cried that day when i was in the exam hall...so so so people please please please DO NOT remind me about my MATHS PAPER 3...i mind you guys..cox i might jux err...cry in front of you..my law papers was quite ok i think..but i did BADLY for my tort...hmm..hope i could still pass it then...economics..one subject that i have no comment for it.. =) leave it to God...weeeeee =P

was supposed to go to one class party..but..sad i got NO CAR and hell far...puchong wei..who is there so kind that will fetch me back from puchong back to kepong then back home?happy things just happened out of the blue..I GOT A NEW PAIR OF GLASSES...sad case came right after it...short sighted increased by 50...very great =) must be because of darling's glasses..we have opposite err short sighted power...so..when we exchange glasses...dizziness will jux pop out!muahahaha...

ouh i'm seriously dying of boredom...HAVE NO LIFE ok?is sooooo BORING when you have nothing to do at ALL!ish...so i have this brilliant plan that i shall end myself up at any of the bookshops..Borders or Kinokuniya will do me good.. =) i hope i won't be lazy and get my ass there..holy i need to fill my life with stories and books man...can't live without books..i'm kinda like a nerd but a good one hahahaha^^

watched 50dates jux now...well..another great movie that inspired me about the story that i stopped half way...ever wonder why i aint sleeping 4am?muahaha..i always whined and complained that i DUN HAVE enough sleep at night because of exams...well..and now i ended up not sleeping =( i simply missed those days when i was busy preparing exams and i actually spent most of my time studying,reading books...urgh!i think i sounded like a maniac here.. =)

there are 500 great shots in darling's camera..great ones!we got them when we were at genting and mamak...very very good!one sad thing will be..i won't be seeing my beloved one anytime soon..so forget bout the idea of getting the photos =( sigh* i want the shaving creams picture!!!one great shot by ME~muahahaha...well..there are a few shots that could make them magazine cover...all by ME!yippie...must know that because the bf is one good photographer..the girl is potential as well =P hahahaha...

i'm being lame here..and sigh* bored hell!!!can't do shits tho...zhuzhu went to bed dy..FEW hours back..and not JUST! T_T guess i'll jux tucked myself under the blankie and start dreaming big bout my life after i started my job...am LOOKING FORWARD k?

kent dear..thank you sooo much for everything!muackxx muackxx joo..love you always =)

05062009--------------------->well well well...

2009-06-06T04:16:00.002+08:00

hmm~wat to blog about today?yeah..God knows..this is so gona be another random post by me...things are gonna be randomly typed and muahahha..i won't have the slightest idea of what to post =) awesome ^^

surprise is FUN!being surprised would be even BETTER!but..note that both surprising someone and being surprised by someone...shall not go beyond the boundary...thanks to the people around me..i was getting MORE and MORE surprises everyday~*sigh* lessen the surprises please..i want back my normal life..

those people who shouldn't exist on earth please dissapear..thank you!i DO NOT welcome you to drop by here...DO NOT!and i DON'T LIKE it!yes..i HATE IT to be exact!thanks for spoiling my mood and being an obstacle in my life...i just DON'T WANT to make those part of my life =( so...be smart and just FUCK OFF thank you =)

friends...one of the greatest element that would influence us in our great life...getting a friend aint easy...it be the toughest if u want to get a TRUE friend...well..i've gotten mine long ago..have you found yours?friends that always be with you couldn't count as true friends..friends that will BE THERE for you...take those as true ones..people come and go in our life everyday...you'll know who are the real ones and who are the fake ones when you're in DEEP SHIT!wanna know the true face of your friends?get urself into deep shit and you'll know =) hehe ^^

well..is just a random post...off i go...hitting the sack now =) finally... i dun simply call someone elses bitch..so..please don't make me call you one =) have fun!

my so called great life over here...

2009-06-03T20:46:00.002+08:00

sometimes we just don't get what we want..

sometimes we just don't get what we expected...

sometimes things just won't go according to plans..

sometimes life is worst than being a bitch..

sometimes...sometimes..sometimes...

there are lotsa times in our life...but how come there aint LIFES in our life?hahaha..i'm stupid here!

hmm...we just can't tell and we just don't know..we just can't predict and we shall just wait..

viewed a few pics of my friends on facebook just now..and you could conclude it well...

life aint just about studies..and friends..but also us!me...meh..myself!

we're human..the animal with the greatest intelligence built..well...we could adapt to a place easily...we could mix and mingle if we want to...

i felt happy and weird at the same time....

when we're in kindergarten..we mix with kids and we whined to grow older..it goes the same when we're in primary and secondary school..

well..after that..we departed from each other and we do different things and have different goals in life =)

some friends..we just lost the contacts...some friends..no matter what happened will still be there..

some...even when you see them..you wouldn't bother to say "HI"..

urgh..i have no idea what am i doing here =(

well...i've got my job today as a part time bartender in one of the mexican & german restaurant..credits to thau theng..as he looked up for me!

great..after this your job would be going home with me...hohoho^^ can't wait to give a kick off for my new life..i shall say byebye to my a-lvls..i promise that i'll do better this time!!!rawr!!!God help me please lemme pass =D

no matter how many fights we had...i still love you my boyfriend...muackxx!

what the fuck is love?

2009-06-02T23:44:00.002+08:00

YAH!!!please tell me who loves me....i really need to know..it seems like i'm just one annoying bitch that been bugging around forever and ever !

please tell me how to fucking feel SECURE when i cudn't at all...please please please...O LORD!!!

please tell me....how to not provoke ur bf when u get hurt so much...

please tell me...why am i always the one who got scolded for helping my bf..

please tell me..WHY THE HELL AM I SO FUCKING STUPID?

please tell me..wat's wrong with loving one guy?

please tell me...why the guy wudn't fucking care bout you?when u shed a tear silently?

please tell me..why when u called ur bf would be a stress?

please tell me..since when i fucking think that i'm a bitch?

please tell me..SINCE WHEN I STARTED TO SWEAR LIKE AN IDIOT?

please lemme be the TAN SUE YINN that i wanna be..please let me be the way i am feeling comfortable with..

please....I BEG YOU MY LOVE..I BEG EVERYONE ELSE...

i dun owe anyone a piece of shit in my life...the only people i owed them SOOO MUCH is my FAMILY!

i take you as one..but do you take me as part of it?

i might look tough from the outside..DO YOU KNOW HOW FRAGILE IS MY STUPID HEART?

BECAUSE OF MY STUBBORNESS I ENDED UP LIKE THIS again!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING LORD..PLEASE...PLEASE...

someone gimme 2 slaps..i guess i deserved to have it!

i need to wake up from my stupid dream that i always think that he would be nicer...that he would be back to the one that i know at first..that I COULD FUCKING PROVE EVERYONE WRONG!

and now..EVERYONE IS PROVING ME WRONG!ok..so is my fault..thank you!

30052009------------->dun read this post unless u wanna feel the emoness

2009-05-30T22:56:00.009+08:00

ya..i'm emo..so..don't read..unless u really wanna feel wat i'm feeling...^^ think twice peeps!

===================================================

not trying to offend u babe..but..u really hurt me this time..i know you tried really hard to be a good boyfriend..but..money is not everything..is the heart that counts

yah..i'm over-reacting over stuffs..that u think it's not important at all..well that's for you..is different!i cares for wat i care..u cares bout your friend..do you even care bout my safety?

i never stopped you..because i know if you wanna stay you'll stay..but could you just make that effort to ask me "where are you?" could you just worried bout me for just that few minutes?

i seriously have no idea..if i'm a horrible girl and a nightmare to you..please call for a stop..before anything worst happen..i know this is hurtful..but..i don't know wat to do already!

if you think that i'm a bugger..that i bug you for everything and every single moment...that's me!it's gonna be wrong if i don't bug..

if you really want me to keep everything to myself..just lemme know..i'll never tell you anything in my life..i'll just shut up....and you won't like it

i know my english aint that proficient..but this is the message i'm trying to deliver..

i don't love myself?i love myself..but i place you and my family first..that's why..(jasmine i'm not stupid)

sometimes i duno why am i so crazy..yah~being called stupid by a friend..because i went and visit my boyfriend...to them is not worth it from the way i'm being treated..

tell me wat you love me for..because i don't know..tell me wat's my position in your life..i'm feeling very insecure right here..tell me...everything that i want to know..

you don't bother to tell...because you don't understand me..you'll never ever get to know me..not because i kept everything away from you...just because i have no idea how to deliver it..

if you open ur mouth to ask..i'll try my best to tell..is nothing about privacy..is the concern that counts..

ask everyone around me..ask them!how much freedom i gave you in my life..not that i don't bother..but i think you deserve the freedom..

very unlucky today..waited for an hour bus...went into the basketball court to look for you but you weren't there..and when i came out the bus just left..took the fucking cab that the taxi driver actually conned my money for using the other longer route..and..in the train when i got down from it..one smelly chewing gum was sticking on my calf..

emo?thank you..that's because my heart is crying =( low kent..i love you..do you know that?

29052009---------------->numbness

2009-05-29T21:41:00.002+08:00

1 down...5 to go ^^

FINALLY 6 > 5..

YIPPIE..

p/s: i felt..weird suddenly..when i saw the numbers getting lesser..kinda funney..

gona get to see my darling tomorrow missy missy him ^^

28052009-------------->lucky?yes?no?iono

2009-05-28T19:08:00.006+08:00

1 DOWN...6 TO GO~!

see....see.....the numbers be the SAME TODAY!!!

5< x <7> :. x=6!! yippie!!!! is 6@6 day today ^^

muahahahahahahahahaha ^^

I AM SO EFFING HAPPY YOU DON'T KNOW...

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

p/s: fucking bad luck today..i'll pretend that it didn't happened at all..

so i shall remain happy ^^ weeeeee mah contract GONE!!!

27052009--------------->lucky

2009-05-27T21:42:00.003+08:00

1 DOWN 7 TO GO!!!!

woooohoooooooooooooooooo

do sense happiness in me..please please ^^

smaller numbers are getting greater...greater numbers are getting smaller..

good sign =P

yes yes yes!!YIPPIE!!!!!!!

*fireworks*

25052009--------------->one fucking great day =(

2009-05-25T22:59:00.002+08:00

1 DOWN 8 TO GO!!!!!!!!

RAWR!!!!!

It seems like the exam days be ENDLESS!WTF !!!!grrrrrrrrrrrrr

can't sleep can't do shit..stressed up like an idiot ToT

why is 4 < 8??? WHY?

i've got something to say bout AI season 8

2009-05-23T00:17:00.001+08:00

RAWR!american idol season 8 has finally come to an end..with A REALLY REALLY UNEXPECTED RESULT!god damn it!ya..ima curse the daylight outta everyone..the outcome was SO UNFAIR!!!!!hell no adam lambert LOST because he's a GAY!seriously...americans..i'm so dissapointed in you guys..i thought...it would be a brand new season..brighten up my eyes or watsoever...but HELL NO!you guys are dumb...RAWR!!!

i thought this kinda tv show is another way for the hollywood to get some talented from the outside world..but..sigh seriously sad.. one great singer just lost his the title of being the next american idol!!!can't wait for his first album...IMA GET IT!!!ADAM LAMBERT...u rock!! ^^

had a nightmare

2009-05-19T05:57:00.004+08:00

something that made me had the urge to actually blog it...
grrrrrrrr...
had a nightmare....or maybe i shud name it nap mare or maybe morning mare...
due to my ungratefulness...i hasn't been turning up to my grandma for a week time..
please forgive me..
i have no idea why i suddenly kept having one creepy dream thru out the 1 hour of sleep...
went to bed 4am in the morning and i only managed to sleep at 4.30..every 15mins interval i would woke up in fright or shocked...
i guess i worried too much..or maybe not..
nightmares jux haunted me down~ sigh*
and i cudn't believe that it's actually a story that made sense...
grandma became as healthy as before...holy ^^ how i wish seriously...
she came into my room and shoosh me off my bed...o.o well..i felt creepy and i actualy told my aunt in the dream and she told me that i'm dreaming.. grr confusing!
then...i became late...i woke up late and i was late to send roc off to school..
but it somehow ended with me and aunty at one of the buddhist temple..the name of the temple sounded more like a quil than a temple... smth started with J..
after some creepy talk..exact story can't really rmber..urgh..forgive me...rawr!
then we left..after that i have no ideaa who sent roc to school and i think it was mum..i jux ended up at another place..this time in my own car..
with 2 indian fellas...i guessed i got rob or smth..and i remembered seeing another 2 drivers drove in drunken mode jux right in front of my car...
they drove back into that quil temple or temple quil..dun bother much..so after that i told that 2 indians who were in my car to get down..
i forgotten wat they told me already...and that the one at the drivers' seat told me that the guy who sat next to him could actually speak cantonese..and he's a siamese.. is creepy..
soon after i took over my car..i ended myself up with aunty agnes and one of her friend...at one petshop..omg omg!
it was unti l my phone alarm rang..then i woke up and got off my bed...i turned on the lights and that's the end..gosh~creepy like hell =s

p.s: grandma's condition getting worst..i'm sorry grandma for being so ungrateful...seek no forgiveness this time T_T

18052009------------------>happy bday MUN!!!

2009-05-19T02:40:00.005+08:00

1 down......9 more to go!!!!

yippie!! is already 3 down~ left only 9 more!!!

still 3 < 9....

great hope eh~

p/s: happy birthday mun!!ur finally 19 today....weeeeeeeeeeee ^^

1,2,3,4------------------->Plain White T's

2009-05-16T23:31:00.002+08:00

would like to dedicate this song to my beloved bf..kent!muackxx
=====================================================================================
1 2, 1 2 3 4
Give me more lovin' than I've ever had,
Make it all better when I'm feelin' sad,
Tell me that I'm special even when I know I'm not,
Make it feel good when I hurt so bad, Barely gettin' mad,
I'm so glad I found you; I love bein' around you.

You make it easy, it's easy as 1, 2 1, 2, 3, 4
There's only 1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 you (I love you) I love you
There's only 1 way 2 say those 3 words and that's what I'll do(I love you)
I love you.

Give me more lovin' from the very start,
Piece me back together when I fall apart,
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends
Make it feel good when I hurt so bad, Best that I've had,
I'm so glad I found you, I love bein' around you.

You make it easy, it's easy as 1, 2 1, 2, 3, 4
There's only 1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 you(I love you) I love you
There's only 1 way 2 say those 3 words and that's what I'll do(I love you)
I love you.
(I love you) I love you.

You make it easy, it's easy as 1, 2 1, 2, 3, 4
There's only 1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 you(I love you) I love you
There's only 1 way 2 say those 3 words and that's what I'll do(I love you)
I love you.
=====================================================================================
love is in the air ^^

16052009---------------------->5th month dy?

2009-05-16T22:21:00.003+08:00

wakakakaka...i love you kenny low kent!
seriously cudn't believe that..we've been together for 5 months dy!!!
i actually find it hard to believe...
well anyway...thanks for being there for the past 151 days..3624 hours...217440 minutes..13046400 secs with me^^
i appreciated it soooooo much so much...
muackxx^^love you~

15052009-------------------> H1N1 detected..

2009-05-15T18:28:00.003+08:00

another 1 down 10 MORE TO GO!!!!!

which make it 2 downs for the moment... 2<12 sobsob T_T

hohohohohohohoho....

not gonna write much bout my day..i'll keep it for the last ^^

ATTN: saw jackson's PM..omfg..H1N1 DETECTED...beware peeps!

13052009-------------------> my funeral starts here!

2009-05-13T13:52:00.003+08:00

counting down =D

1 down...11 MORE TO GO!!!!

u can do it...weeeeeeeeeee ^^

12052009--------------->pray hard for meh!

2009-05-12T19:02:00.002+08:00

tomorrow..a day which i've been waited for so long yet i hope it's not tomorrow right now! i wanted to end my exam as soon as possible...but hell!i'm unprepared..argh..such useless girl~ *sigh

i have no idea why the days have been passing soooooooo fast!as in really fast..i joined the college at may 2nd last year..well~sooooo soon..too soon to believe that..is already a year!my relationship with kent..weeee almost 5 months dy ^^ he got it right..he's so gonna be my longest boyfriend! muackxx love you~

be lazy to blog..be lazy to think..be lazy to construct..i have no mood to study..have no mood to practice right now..that's why..i ended up here..the feeling of failure is flowing in my blood..my brain...

just one paper..HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO FAIL TO ANSWER 4 QUESTIONS IN A ROW?conclusion = FAIL..aint it?

bah..time to go back to my studies..been slacking around for 2 hours..shud be more than enough for me~

had starbucks for breakfast, mc D for lunchie...now..DOMINOS for dinner..it be too fake if i hadn't put on any weight..i'm so bloody fat right now..urgh~is a little too much for me..sad..ima start my jogging again right after my exam!god damn it~been eating too much dy..sigh

05052009----------------->pissed off like fuck!

2009-05-06T00:06:00.002+08:00

why such title?why?i had my great morning...why u guys are always the spoiler?if the shop couldn't work anymore..jux fucking close it~you knew that i be having exams soon...and you still insisted me to be therE!i seriously have no idea wat is wrong with your brains..

from day 1 the shop shouldn't exist in my life..from day 1 you shouldn't had run the stupid shop!you knew it soooooo well that it won't work..ya finally today you realized how dumb are you to listen to your stupid brother!he can work it out doesn't meant that you could do the same..and now you guys are telling me that you're going to kelantan..ok!have fun staying there..i will stay here ALONE!i don't mind...

seriously pissed off like crazy the moment you called..you're just my daddy...just because you're my daddy doesn't meant that i have to listen to your every single nonsense...i have my own way..please!well..at least i still went there..don't make noise..fucken took the wrong turning over and over again!URGH!!! =(

went to the tit dah master..and got my shoulder and wrist bandanged..sigh i'm simply problematic..next wednesday be the first paper!please kill me =)

01052009--------------->labours' day

2009-05-02T00:53:00.002+08:00

well..i'm not a labour~so..obviously i don't celebrate labours' day^^hehe...but because everyone in the college works..and i have no idea if the college is open..so is my dating day =) great!

finally i could sleep last night..had 9 hours of awesome sleep...then..after 1.30hours of dragging..i finally left my house at 1130am..pro betul~

was in great mood at first..then~credits to my bitchy mama..she's such a mood spoiler!called me jux to ask me where the hp charger is and...asked me to clean up my room..

ok..not like your room is very tidy..so jux stay off!not like the house is like no dust at all..not like you give a damn bout the rest of the mess your son contributed to..so jux leave me alone thanks!

hoho~i ignored everything and drove all the way to midvalley..dropped ying..then went to kent's!well..my bf..i couldn't get a better word to describe the both of us..we simply enjoy dragging our time ^^

off we go..after another 1.30hours i think~yippie!mid valley was PACKED LIKE HELL!seriously..omfg..parked and went italiannes for lunchie..pizza for the day..

next..movie~ok..sorta had the feel to get rid of my crazy horror movie phobia..so i said i wanna watch "coming soon" =D queued..oh gosh!how many times were we supposed to be asked about the age while purchasing tickets?DO WE LOOK LIKE KIDDOES? *grrrr*

oh gosh..the movie was so terrible!no more no more for me..no more horror movie for me..is a waste of money and time..and i be stupid to go there and scare myself..my goodness.. =( why am i so "brave"?sigh..i thought the show ENDED because some malays said "dah tamat"..wth!i looked up and that freaking scene suddenly poped out one bloody face ={

then..went for.......the monsters vs dinosaurs exhibition...WE WERE CONNED!!!!paid 12 bucks for nothing...WTF!nvm..we had fun posing snapping photos..haha =D

met up with justin and the rest of them..i duno who were they..then then..i went home first..that bitch called again..i have no choice..

darling continued his day with his friends =D well well..i had a great day..so weeeeeeeee

p/s: expenses all on my world-best bf!muackx!
the other rest of my time after i went home wasn't nice..not gonna blog it =)

29042009---------------->i'm just happy

2009-04-30T00:36:00.001+08:00

well well well...let's see..i had great day today!haha..
didn't make it to dear dear's place..he said..dunid le.. *sad*
soooo...i slept till almost noon..yippie!ya..i'm having great time relaxing here..
do envy me...and haha..you shall see me cry for the second time^^
so..the reason i stayed home today..because the piano tuner wanted to come over to fix my piano...

and...me as a very great host..i was still in my pyjamas when he came..
hehe^^i seek no effort to change...weeeee
watched one piece again for the rest of my day till around 4pm...
daddy called back and said:" ouh your car's ready...later i send you to pick your car back"..
YIPPIE!!SENSE THE HAPPINESS IN ME!!SENSE ME..FEEL IT..
was sooooo soosososososososo happy...
i took a quick bath...and waited..yahoooooooooooo!!!

ouh my beloved car...my goodness lar..those mechanics dirtied it..omfg..is like a trash car..
ima send it for cleanup tomorrow...then only i go visit my tit dah master...
yippie yaya yippie yippie ya..
say bye bye to the sardine train^^
*fireworks*

i'm still relaxing...first paper is only 2 weeks later..
please someone slap me PLEASE!!!
i need to study de...omfg...i duno wat to do... ToT
urgh...

*i'm still happy*...

weeeeee....funny video!hahahaha.. tuts my barreh

2009-04-29T12:47:00.001+08:00

25042009--------------->effing screwed..

2009-04-26T00:32:00.002+08:00

fucken hell..jux leave me alone
i seek no help...as no one would give me a hand..
i sat aside in agony..and suffered in my own pain..
when i give a thought about it..i realized i ran outta brain juice..
i have no slutions to the tonnes of problems i am facing..
all i want..is SILENCE!
all i want..is PEACE..
all i want..is THE FREEDOM I HAD BEFORE..
all i want..is NOTHING TO WORRY..
all i want...is JUST MY NORMAL LIFE..
so..for the sake of fulfilling wat i want..
people out there..PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE..
i know i will find my way..
i know i will have my thought
i know wat i could do for myself..
thanks for the care..
thanks for the love..
thanks for the patience..
thanks for the advice..
i learnt from my mistakes..
i learnt from my pass..
i never would do the same again..
i swore to myself..

23042009-------------->emo!!emo!!emo!!

2009-04-23T22:26:00.003+08:00

saw christy's blog..well..here's something i learnt in my life..never trust someone 100%..NEVER!i will never do that again..i SWEAR!!fucken irritating...things tend to turn out badly..lately!i have no idea why..it just couldn't go according to my plans!ima be EMOFO soon...lets see..when u trust someone..there's nothing as ouh i trust 50%and leave the other 50% aside..there's no such thing in my life..when i don't trust i don't trust..i give you 100% and you returned 70%...and that's the end of the story..that's it..

wasn't in a really good mood lately..things stressed me up~especially that dumb upcoming exam!i have no idea..wat i'm doing..FUCKEN CAR still not here yet..motherfucker you tend to take ages to repair my brake paddle eh?have you got any idea how much i suffered throughout the week?if you couldn't get it done..then don't fucking tell me that the car will be ready by when when and when..i hate the stupid train!and now i have no where to go...i don't know where to camp..

no car..i can't camp at college till late night..dad's gonna renovate my room..WHERE THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO SLEEP?you can't expect me to study in jack's room..that's a total junk store to me..so..give me an answer where to study?WHERE?i want my car back...I WANT IT BACK!i rather that car hasn't broke down before..i'm at my peak right now..i'm going crazy..everything's driving me crazy!

i only know i'm having a very very messy thinking..having messy thoughts aint good...having insomnia...fucken hell!and the worst!the weather is SUCKY...how many times am i supposed to bath in a day?omfg omfg i hate it..and i'm always the one being nice and got scolded at the end..well..i don't wanna be the nice person anymore..lolo got it right..darling said the same thing..everyone told me the same thing..fuck man!seriously..fuck off please..just leave me alone..thanks~

urgh..URGH!!!!why would things turn out to be at its suckiest point when my DUMBASS FINALS is around the corner?why can't they be nice to be for once?WHY?ima curse the day light outta it..exams exams exams...grandma..family..friends...darling..what the hell is wrong?where the hell went wrong?grrrrrrr...grrrrrrrrrr....

p/s: seriously in emo mood..gimme a knife and i might slice you up~

21042009------------->the rain made me thinks about you

2009-04-21T03:53:00.003+08:00

saw the tiredness in me?sigh*
===========================================================================
another sleepless night..i guess i'm having a world-best boyfriend now..there's no such thing that you could actually pop into ur bf's room early in the morning and stays at his house for the rest of the day just because you wanna sleep..well..i could do that at my bf's house!=) and i'm always glad about it..thanks darling...*muackx*

well..it has been really really hot these 2 days...hasn't seen a droplet of rain coming down from that very high sky...sad...i'm always feeling sweaty and sticky.. =(

err...is 3.30am and~haha^^it rained finally..so heavy..it's a heavy downpour..never really hates raining..i enjoy walking under the rain..playing under the rain..weeeeeeeee =) the wind blowed like as if a lion was roaring right outside at your gate..i was sitting by the sliding door..feeling the coldness of it..and i thought of you..

you were really really happy yesterday eventhough you were sick..well..i guess i know why..haha^^but i'm so not gonna tell you..since you said no!weeeeeeeee lets just keep it to myself..lalala..ya..my big baby here is sick..please don't get sick..i know you have no say but just please don't.. =( take care and drink lotsa water please...PLEASE!!

p/s: i really need you right now..and please don't ditch me...=D you promised...hehe^^ you never break any of your promises before..so please don't do it..weeeeeeeeeee =p love you! muackxx..

18042009--------------->outing with pua pua =)

2009-04-19T01:32:00.002+08:00

weeeeeeee..mah outing with mah pua pua!haha..no worries..pua pua aint my boyfriend..he's mah 'sista'..hehe^^ well..go further to study lar..no time to ying chao me jor..finally squeezed that tiny bit of time for me...omfg!ish..so..the destination changed from one to another and then back to the same point..pavillion...i simply love the cinema seats~THEY'RE SIMPLY OSUM.. ^_*

well..i have no car lately..my only transport be..DUMB KTM..fucking hell..dumb weather made me sweat like a crazy girl..urgh..i hate the sticky feeling..especially right after i bathed..wtf man!i thought the train should be cooling....i bet it be the shittiest train ever...i was like in a sauna..holy!out of the blue..i sensed hunger in me..sad..forgotten to grab a bite when i left...and i forgotten bout darling's present...hehe^^his book...

well..instead of taking monorail and walk under the hot sun...i took a cab^^weeeee...the taxi driver is jux nice...haha..i'm always lucky to get some nice taxi drivers..they be kind to me..=)hohohoho..met up with pua pua..ouh~we went for...the movie..-------->MALL COP..

hilarious lar!hahahaha..i laughed non-stop in the cinema..is funny yet meaningful..the cinema was like soooooo empty...maybe because it's only 12.15pm...i have no idea..but definitely not more than 40 people inside the cinema 2..like i said..i had great time watching my movie in the big big cinema with my food..i miss my boyfriend sitting beside me tho =(

well...after the movie..headed down to starhill...jogoya...got my vouchers and met a few friends and off i left for darling's house...well..the later part of my day be boring and useless..nothing much to write bout..hehe^^ no worries i had my great day tho!yippie~

17042009--------------> sun's birthday...

2009-04-17T12:36:00.002+08:00

今天心情还不错的。。就来篇华语的！哇~真的很久很久没有用华语了。。感觉就是很陌生。。其实，我并没有很讨厌华语，我只是不太喜欢。。讨厌和不喜欢是很大分别的。。今天阿，是我小学的一个好朋友的生日。。很可惜的就是都失去联络了。。可悲吧？

我身边的朋友总是看起来很多但其实却很少。。有时候翻查自己手机里的联络簿里找寻着朋友的时候，总是想不起谁是自己的好友。。那些朋友都是在他们遇到困难的时候，他们需要你的时候才会出现的。。我还真的很失败。。那天，我告诉升说：“ 喂，我刚发觉原来我没有什么朋友，我觉得很好笑。。你有那样认为吗？” 没想到的是，这个就是他的答案：“ 是哦？我告诉你，其实我和你都差不多。” 哎哟~这个到底是什么社会嘛？

其实，我很想避免这些人。是想得不得了！但是，我却办不到。我不忍心当没有人肯帮忙的时候，自己也是其中一分子。我没有办法当冷血的自己，总是觉得很残酷！就好像和亲爱的吵架，我都会硬着头皮去道歉，因为我觉得说句对不起并没有伤害到我。。说了对不起，他开心了，见面的时候就自然不回尴尬拉！但很多事情，是说了对不起都无法挽回的。。。

我一直没有用华语写部落是有原因的。。因为我那亲爱的看不懂华语。为什么要为难他呢？所以总是用英文。。今天心血来潮了。。撇下那白痴的信念，来篇华语的，感觉还挺好的！其实我还有个冲动，就写篇华语的信，要他的朋友念给他听，看看他会不会很感动！呵呵~我想是自己想太多了。。因为，天塌下来都不可能发生的事，竟然是我的梦想！哇咔咔。。。天真啊。。 ^^

16042009------------->it's the fourth month

2009-04-16T08:44:00.002+08:00

been waiting for this day for sooooooooo long..we've been through quite a lot..aint it...is not easy you know..when 2 people gets together..we'll need patience and a very good temper...i'm not a girl with very very good temper..and i don't really have patience...you don't clap with a hand..we need two hands to clap to make a noise!

i endured...i followed your pace..i tried my very best to be a good girlfriend..because i knew i wasn't one in the past..i thought i was one right now..but i somehow failed to be one aint it?i never thought of betraying this relationship if i gave you the impression..simon is simply one guy that could be a good friend..to me he's better than some hypocrite friend...

yesterday was a hectic day for me...i couldn't take it anymore..i hate hospitals and that's why i feel so sick bout it..going to the hospital be worst than visiting a graveyard..and i hope you understand my feeling...my anger and frustration will take over my patience and happiness easily..you can put it as dementors in real life..which until today i have no petronuses to take them away...i'm sorry

i didn't want to be a cry baby..i hold my grudges and my tears..like i said..i don't wanna pressurized the already burdenized and pressurized shoulders of yours...you have your own life at work..i only hope that you could spare a lil time when i need you...seriously a little time only..you tried very hard to be a bf as well...we have loads to learn in life...it ain't easy...is not a nursery rhyme nor something you could learn by just watching video..they're something you will only get to learn when you experience it...

is tough..is painful..and it always give you the feeling of giving up!a fight is a fight..a fight with love and patience is different from a normal fight..a fight that will lead us to get to know each other better is different too...i love you my boyfriend and i hope you understand...muackx

13042009------------------>slacking at kent's

2009-04-13T14:26:00.004+08:00

went to pc fair yesterday with jack and dear...hmm..to be honest i preferred last year's fair..not much pretty models this year.. =( and after i drove out from the parking..fucking car broke down..sigh~ well i'm no mechanic..so obvious i had no choice but to call my dad..got scolded..so?it won't help..and it was raining heavily that time..stayed there...waited..jack had to take cab back to his school.. sorry babe..

so left me and kent in the car waiting for the mechanic to come..awesome time aint it..haha~ playing with the windows..snapping photos..great ^^ thanks jon for fetching me home..never hope for my parents to come pick me up..as i know THEY WON'T!and they will never..i wonder how only i could be selfish..i wanted to be like them as well..lemme be one selfish girl..selfish girlfriend..maybe i'll live a happier life?

stoned and slacked around..hit the sack quite early yesterday.. =) woke up damn early this morning..well..had no choice cox darling's DSLR be with me...had to send it to him before he went off to work..so..took the dumb train..I SWEAR!!I'LL NEVER TAKE KTM ANYMORE IN THE MORNING UNLESS I HAVE NO OTHER ALTERNATIVES..god damn it!people pushing around..squeezing in and ignoring you when you said stop pushing and "ouch"..i was so worried bout the DSLR in my bag...i wonder if i crashed it or wat..sigh*

well..he went to work..and i stayed at his house...slept for 2 hours..hmm..the dreamcatcher thingy didn't work well on me..i had 2 hours of different kinda dreams..woke up study..then can't stand the messiness of his room..had to clean up for him...well it looks tidier than before..got so fed up with my tort law that i gave up studying and start slacking here..haix...YIPPIE! can collect my car dy later by 4pm or so..sad case..i'll have to go mum's shop after that..hectic lar..god damn it!

10042009------------>the feelings jux came out of the blue

2009-04-10T19:59:00.002+08:00

hmm..been having this weird routine lately..a driver for both the guys..my bro and my big baby..well..fetching roc be lessen dad's burden..fetching the big baby because i wanna see him moar!couldn't really sleep lately..would wake up in fright during midnight..URGH!and is always 3am..wtf!as i have to wake up 515 in the morning..i get extremely tired after that..*sigh*why am i always having this dumb insomnia during exam eves?serious shit~

bah..back to the day..fucking got caught in the jam..due to my lateness!i left the hse around 625..sigh..sigh..shuda got up earlier and avoid the jam..but my SLEEP!?!?neway after sending roc..jln kuching was still kinda smooth that time..was listening to jj&ean in the car..ok i have this habit of playing loud music whenever i feel sad or down or watsoever you called..it wasn't that loud this morning..after the prank called they made to someone..i duno why..i felt like crying..

kinda weird aint it..i felt like crying out of the blue..early in the morning and its not even 7am yet!doink..maybe i'm over stressing myself..=( i duno..but i somehow forgotten the feeling of tears rolling down the cheek..i forgotten how to cry..i know i shudn't cry..i have to stay tough..i can't let myself fall before the war starts..darling is already stressful..i can't add anymore stress onto his burdenized shoulders..that's why i stopped my tears from falling =)

i'm sorry my friends at the college..been really stress lately that i don't really remember how to smile~let the war ends and i'll get myself back to normal mode..i need to get fucking good grades or my parents will slice me up!well..can't deny the fact that i won't let myself fail so many times in my study life..life be too short for me to waste..cherish the time cherish everyone around you..

this morning had "ba zang" with kent..wow!i really miss my home-made "ba zang"...how i wish grandpa is still here..grandma be as healthy as before..BUT sigh..we can't look back to our past aint it?haha..neway..i need to find a way to deal with my sleepiness at 10am every morning..urgh..chicken essence doesn't really help =( had KFC snack plate for lunchie...and also CHEESY WEDGES..yummy yummy...

the piano tuner came..and..he told me that instead of buying one new piano..i shud actually send my piano mechanism for overhauling..due to the good condition of my piano..well my piano has been there for 10 years!my bday present from papa..then..ok lu...600 bucks..sigh..been spending a lot lately..i need one fast job..well i need 300 bucks for now..let mama pay half..or maybe i shud jux go withdraw from my bank?hmm...it depends tho..

another evening i spent watching one piece...i'm so in love with the anime..=) am gonna buy the comic as collection~YIPPIE!!!!i miss my boyfriend..ouh we be going to kr's school carnival 2mrw..hmm..jalan a bit then go home?ya i think it shud be done it that way=) piano lesson for me 2mrw..urgh..gonna be tiresome..

06042009------------>a month to go..

2009-04-06T23:10:00.002+08:00

A month to go..and there comes my finals!hoho~lets see what i've been doing lately..slacking, watching anime..day dreaming...stoning in the room...staying up all night doing nuts...hypnotising myself...urgh!i know it didn't work at all..BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHICH PART IS GOING WRONG!god damn it..seriously..whenever i look at the book...i felt like sleeping..i rather spent my time doing the stuffs above and not study...eww..

felt kinda disgusted whenever i look at my piles and piles of books..and files..thank god my piano is there..i've got something to do..hmm..i'm back to my old life..music,eat,dream,slack,sleep...gaming can't be part of my life..

forcing myself to go to bed as early as possible..so that i would get my ass up early and go library..i rather camp at the library..than staying at home and sleep =) well..at least i will study there..although is frigging cold..i would at least force myself to study weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....

watched fast & furious 4 with darling..NAISE movie..hehe ^^the both of us were lucky enough to get middle seating..yippie!!!!!! damn lucky because the cinema was full and we didn't booked the tickets at the first place..brian o' conner was damn yeng~ DOM was fantastic..the cars are SEXY!!! i loves racing movie..i loves car..hehe ^^

31032009----------------->end of the month..

2009-03-31T01:07:00.003+08:00

time flies!haha..my last post..i think was about me got stucked in the mud..urgh..i be too lazy to blog about my life lately..
life's a bitch...nothing much to talk about..started to get numb with the life i'm having now..
shuda add some spice into it..BUT...where are the spices?which part of my life shud i add the spices into?sigh*
exam's around the corner..simply seek no motivation to study..wat to do larh?eww...the moment i look at my messy table..i lost the feeling of studying..
in great debt lately..having problem clearing off my dumb debts..is like suddenly i'm in such great debt!WTF...why am i so fucking broke?am i really that broke?i have no idea...
nothing much..jie jie got married finally..i know she's gonna have a happy life after this..haha..girls from the TAN family tend to have the same situation..thanks for knowing my feelings..
sigh...ghost or spirit..god or the goddess..believe it or not..brother in law could see them..haha!it drew back my attention to the buddhist beliefs..always a half half for me..like roc said..why can't i be a half christian and a half buddhist?at the end of the day we're still praying to the same god..aint it?
see the logic..understand it and thought about it..there's a lot to learn in my life..too much to be learnt that i'm afraid i don't have enough time..
grandma's in kinda severe sickness..her alzhemeirs been driving most of us crazy..endure and that's it..is scary for 2 different people to have almost a same dream..
bro in law actually dreamt that grandpa wanted to take grandma's live away...same as me having a similar dream..kinda spookie tho..dream won't come true..right?
looking forward to this sunday's outing with darling?i hope i could make it..

p/s:would wanna say sorry to my beloved bf..not really in the mood lately..can't really get crazy..been stressing about exam all night..sigh..i'm terribly sorry..love you always..muackxx!^^