08112008--------------->where's my sun?

i don't think i'm stable lately..haha..i think i'm emo~i have no idea how'd i felt..
anyway..that doesn't really matters...
slept at 6.40am and woke up at 5pm..haha~again...i'm really a big baby..
anyway...went online...then mummy came back and asked if i'm gonna follow them to the hospital..
hmm..the last time i visited granny was like few weeks back..so i decided to go..
since i've got nothing better to do staying at home..
my dear granny...she changed a lot!she really did changed a lot!
the moment i saw her..is NO MORE MY BELOVED GRANNY..
i miss her so much..although she can recognised me..but because of alzhemeir's..i think she lost part of her memory dy..she's like a kid now..
i couldn't talk to her..i can only feel the pain..then suddenly i realised the tears were tryin to roll down..
so i walked out from the ward..and first time ever i no longer fear the height of the bloody hospital..
i could actually lean against the window and look outside..first time my legs didn't tremble and my palms weren't sweaty..
after that i went back to the ward and joined them....i told myself i can't cry...
my granny made me thought of ashley anne's granny..her granny had alzheimer's as well..
and i remembered..that time i was so small..i was only 10..and i duno anything bout alzheimeirs..
so i fooled her granny..not really fooled..but we played around with her granny..
i felt so bad suddenly...anyway her granny passed away few years ago..hmm...
then..went for dinner..had nasi lemak at jalan antarabangsa..
not bad..haha~then headed home..
aite..nothing much..but thinking of granny made me emo..aww~i miss my granny so much!
i miss her cooking..sigh*