16082009--------->i wonder if you would bother to read

i wonder and i really really wonder...if you even bother to read my blog after so long!i updated it every now and then but it seems you didn't even give a damn about it since june =0 well...i know you're always busy..and TIRED..i'm sorry because i don't know how exhausted would it be to read my crazy blog..yes you might say that i'm having pms or something today..whatever it is that you're gonna say i'll just ignore it for just this moment..i need to let it all out!

well i really think that there's problem communicating with you...whether it's me or you..it's just WEIRD!i would be so lost of words when i tried to talk to you not because of the happiness but the sadness...it's actually killing me indirectly..i have no idea why...maybe i'm one self-torturious girl or something...to be frank i don't enjoy having twistered feelings all day long..sudden happiness or sudden sadness...it would drive me crazy =(

i hope you understand how all this things would made me feel when i have jumbled up feelings..is a total turn down for me..a total disaster..sometimes i would rather i'm a single lady..and yet sometimes i'm glad having you there..i sound contradicting..but it's just exactly how i felt like NOW!i hate you and i love you at the same time...*grrrrr