16042009------------->it's the fourth month

been waiting for this day for sooooooooo long..we've been through quite a lot..aint it...is not easy you know..when 2 people gets together..we'll need patience and a very good temper...i'm not a girl with very very good temper..and i don't really have patience...you don't clap with a hand..we need two hands to clap to make a noise!

i endured...i followed your pace..i tried my very best to be a good girlfriend..because i knew i wasn't one in the past..i thought i was one right now..but i somehow failed to be one aint it?i never thought of betraying this relationship if i gave you the impression..simon is simply one guy that could be a good friend..to me he's better than some hypocrite friend...

yesterday was a hectic day for me...i couldn't take it anymore..i hate hospitals and that's why i feel so sick bout it..going to the hospital be worst than visiting a graveyard..and i hope you understand my feeling...my anger and frustration will take over my patience and happiness easily..you can put it as dementors in real life..which until today i have no petronuses to take them away...i'm sorry

i didn't want to be a cry baby..i hold my grudges and my tears..like i said..i don't wanna pressurized the already burdenized and pressurized shoulders of yours...you have your own life at work..i only hope that you could spare a lil time when i need you...seriously a little time only..you tried very hard to be a bf as well...we have loads to learn in life...it ain't easy...is not a nursery rhyme nor something you could learn by just watching video..they're something you will only get to learn when you experience it...

is tough..is painful..and it always give you the feeling of giving up!a fight is a fight..a fight with love and patience is different from a normal fight..a fight that will lead us to get to know each other better is different too...i love you my boyfriend and i hope you understand...muackx