simply bored...i'm bored

ouh.......life's bored when there's no laughters..................................................................
and wtf....u suddenly crawled into my mind again..........................................................
can someone like keep me company whole freaking night till i go to bed so i won't think of you?
no matter...how sad how happy...when i'm alone the freaking face of urs would pop up~
ur worst than a virus!!!!!!!
I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!U DUMBASS........SERIOUS SHIT~
WHY CAN'T I HATE YOU?DAMN IT DAMN IT!!!!!
URGH....................................................................................................................................
xien xien xien xien xien
i can't even finish my bowl of maggie now...
all because of YOU..............................................................................................................
stay off please............u've been my nightmare for 2 months..
and i really had enuf of it...................................................................................................

22112008--------------->很久没有打华语了

嗯，真的很久没有用华语来打自己的部落格了。。其实有很想念看到华语字吗？有少少的。。
这几天，应该说这几个星期，我都过得还不错。。只是，我那没有用的头脑，还是会无意中的想起你！
你以为我想的啊？我也不想的~所以麻烦你快点从这个世界上消失。。至少在我的世界消失。。
不要再来侵入我的生活了，很烦！很令人讨厌~至少你是让我喜欢那么多个人里面最后悔的那个！
原来，被一个男生摔比起北三个女生摔得经历是差很远的。。没有关系！被摔得一定会得到属于自己的幸福。。
我不需要你的祝福，更不需要你的关心。。去过你那所谓自私的生活我会觉得好一点！
我不知道你还有没有来看，但是，我希望你看到后悔采取行动！
毕竟，已经两个月了，我已经受够了。。。而且我也觉得是时候了。。所以，我的书还有我的东西都还给我。。
很多东西都无法弥补，也不需要。。因为，它会自己痊愈。。
最近的生活中是日夜颠倒。。过的挺充实的！为什么？因为我都在打机。。。
原来打机睡觉。。真的可以过一天的！呵呵~可惜，这种生活到下个星期就结束了。。
我只有那两个星期的假期！真的很可悲~世界上哪有那么笨的学院的？两个星期够谁用？！
天啊。。而且明年的课程好难。。。特别是数学。。这次真的是高数二了。。我的妈呀~~~~
谁来救我？高数二我真的会死到五颜六色的。。因为我只会三角！我唯一的强项是三角。。
但是却不能靠它吃饭。。然后由点向放弃自己的经济学。。为什么？因为我看不明！
真的很烦！很烦！不放弃又不是，放弃又不是。。噢！怎么我那么烂？
然后然后，自己现在又不想放弃了。。为了我的3个A我不会放弃的！
哼~不管啦。。明年的机大概会少打很多吧。。老爸，你就让我玩多一个月。。
成绩明年一月出，我都不懂自己会哭还是笑。。所以这一个月还是好好玩了它~
如果明年从考的话，我都不懂自己还有没有时间打机。。
认识你们真好！因为有你们我的生活不再闷了。。
钻均明天从台湾回来哦~看那个傻婆买什么给我。。很久没有听到他的声音了。。
是时候要他陪我喝茶了。。明年6月之后，我们就会分开了。。相信要一起逃学都难了吧。。
你去年的大众传播，我会继续我的法律系的。。但是要去哪里年就真的不知道了。。
头好痛，但是却睡不着，而且不想睡！我是怎么了？！！我到底想怎样？
我总是希望明天不要那么快的到来，拿自己就可以多玩一下。。
有哪一个很厉害的人可以让地球就停在那个时空不让它自己自转呢？
只要地球不自转，时间就不会过，也就自然不回公转啦。。不是吗？然后时间就会停留在那个时空~
不可能吧，这个事情不可能会发生的。。
对了，最近长智慧牙，牙肉肿了，好不舒服！然后没有啦。。。
呵呵~老妈子灯下就回来了。。我呆在家里一个星期什么都没有做。。一定被鸟！哇咔咔。。
不管啦，你爱鸟就鸟。。我已经麻了。。很无聊。。每个人都睡觉了。。闷死了拉！

22112008------------>kr's bday^^

basically,there's nothing much to talk bout lately..
is jux game game game and more game..
urgh...daddy jux came back from kota bharu thursday...ouh..he went to lumut again yesterday~
sigh*
bored...bloody they simply spent time more on jobs than with me and jack...
so don't blame me for every day facing the laptop..
you never know how the feeling would be..is been since last time...
anyway...i didn't sleep again..kinda fucked up...
i woke up at 9am yesterday and i didn't sleep again...damn it!
headache but i'm not sleepy at all...hoW?
I'M HUNGRY!!!HUNGRY!!!!!ALL I NEED IS FOOD FOOD FOOD...
roc went to uncle menglek's house yesterday..bet jack would be going out again..
ok..i'm HOME ALONE again..
sigh* is like u simply gimme money to stay alive...and mum called back simply to ask me do chores..won't u get bored?
omg..is such a nightmare..
so~I'M GOING TO CHING'S hse next week...i don't care..i'm going!!!
then i'll go nanny's hse with ying..and yes i have to go...
never go for how long dy?almost 6 years since i last went and stay o.O
so...after ying's spm i'm OFF~
yes..and THE FUCKED UP COLLEGE...classes commencing on the 1st of december...
O.O i only have 2 weeks of holidays..which i think would be assly not enough for me..
so...eventhough i dun like..i'll go langkawi and penang with that..i'm not gonna miss any outings!
I'M DYING OF BOREDOM~is all crap here..
even brownie got bored..wat she did all day was sleeping and walked into my room and sleep again..pathetic dog..
thanks to jack who bought me cans of coca cola^^ ouh i love you~
yes..thanks to roc for staying away from me..u another nightmare..mum's pet..
but can't shout at you i'm bored..damn it!i'm contradicting myself..
oh god..get me outta here!!!!!!!!!
and my beloved neighbour..he's effing mean..don't wanna lend me the shows..
I'M NOT GONNA SEND YOU ANYMORE NICE SONGS!!!
arrgh~~~bored bored bored...
had a game at 6am with drugs and babysitter..haha..3 v 5...
we lost gracefully~with dignity and pride!
anyway..i shall go get some rest..my brain's not functioning well...
shit...and i'm kinda dumb lately...sigh sigh..
i need books,games and coca colas!!!get me those~^^

Madagascar 2 OS---------->I like to MOVE IT!

i like to move it, move it,
i like to move it, move it,
i like to move it, move it,
ya like to move it!

All girls all over the world,
Original King Julian pon ya case man!
I love how all girls a move them body,
And when ya move ya body,
Uno move it, nice and sweet and sexy, alright!

Woman ya cute, and you don't need no make up,
Original cute body you a mek man mud up.
Woman ya cute, and you don't need no make up,
Original cute body you a mek man mud up.

Woman! physically fit, physically fit,
Physically, physically, physically fit,
Woman! physically fit, physically fit,
Physically, physically, physically fit,

Woman! ya nice, sweet, fantastic,
Big ship on de ocean that a big titanic
Woman! ya nice, sweet, energetic,
Big ship on de ocean that a big titanic.
Woman! ya nice, sweet, fantastic,
Big ship on de ocean that a big titanic
Woman! ya nice, sweet, fantastic,
Big ship on de ocean that a big titanic.
WOMAN!

i like to move it, move it,
i like to move it, move it,
i like to move it, move it,
ya like to move it!

i like to move it, move it,
i like to move it, move it,
i like to move it, move it,
ya like to move it!

Woman ya cute, and you don't need no make up,
Original cute body you a mek man mud up.
Woman ya cute, and you don't need no make up,
Original cute body you a mek man mud up.

Eye liner - pon ya face a mek man mud up
Nose powder- pon ya face a mek man mud up
Pluck ya eyebrow - pon ya face a mek man mud up
Gai ya lipstick - pon ya face a mek man mud up
Woman ya nice broad face, and ya nice hip,
Make man flip and bust up the lip
Woman ya nice and energetic,
Big ship pon de ocean that a big titanic
Woman ya nice broad face, and ya nice hip,
Make man flip and them bust them lip
Woman ya nice and energetic,
Big ship pon de ocean that a big titanic.

Woah! Bop!
Woah! Bop!
Woah! Bop!
Woah! Bop!

I like to move it move it,
He like to move it move it,
She like to move it move it,
You like to MOVE IT!

We like to move it move it,
You like to move it move it.
I like...Oh I did I have done I?
Did I do I like?
I think I did I like...
We?What about we?
They?They?did they...

Oh,I got it..I got it I got a new one,
I got a new one.
Them?No, not them.
Did I say them or not?

Them like to move it mov...
I'm gonna say them...

Them like to move it move it
We like to move it move it
umm..wait there's gotta be another one...
we...we..oh..nope..oh..US!
Can we do us like to?

Us like to move it move it,
That's the one.
Us like to move it move it,
Us like to move it move it,
Us like to....MOVE IT!

Move it..move iitt...move it..
move it!move it!move it!move it!

Ok then..wanna hear..
I just wanna tell you a little story this little story
That my daddy used to tell me he was a king as well
i was born probably about 68 years ago over by that tree over there yeh!

And i rememeber things changed a lot in those days,
In MADAGASCAR it wasn't that commercial,
You know,
There wasn't a fuss bout who's got the latest tree
And what leaves are you wearing,
And who's got the latest fur on their back you know..

Those days it was just me and a couple of the others you know...
Doing the jungle boogie you know..
Jungle boogie..jungle boogie...
woah woah woah woah woah woah woah

Move it!
You really think this is not gonna end?
coz it is 3,2,1
Not bad eh?I like it~
===================================================================
haha..i fell in love with this song..hahahahaha^^

16112008------------->i bored...

lolx..wat a boring day..another day at grandma's house..with cousins...and all
but this time visited another grandma first at the hospital..hmm...should i say i overcome it dy?or...
anyway...saw someone i hated for years there...they would only appear when they need help!
after grandpa passed away 5 years ago...i don't take them as part of my cousins anymore...
for what reason must i treat you like my uncle and auntie when u visit my grandma to gain benefits?
since last time your son came to my house...and granny or grandpa would take my chocs and give it to him...AND HE EVEN SPOILT my things!damn it~
i could remembered how you guys treated me and my stuffs...so just leave me alone!
in the car,daddy said they came to get granny sign the doc for them...
how i wish granny is as healthy as before...how i wish granny won't sign..it's not up to me to say a no....
i inherited grandpa's kindness..and god damn it!i even offered you the swissroll that we bought for granny..cox grandpa told me once that we must treat a guest with heart..
anyway..i don't give a piece of shit how you gonna be after getting my granny sign that doc for you..
ONLY IF YOU COULD STAY AWAY FROM HER!leave her in peace...
aunt said she had a plan to move back to jinjang...cox granny would need a larger room...
jinjang and the idiots would be her neighbour!BEAR IN MIND BECAUSE OF GRANDPA ONLY YOU GUYS GET THAT HOUSE!
my grandpa applied for all his nephews to get into st.john last time...HOW MUCH HE SPENT and HOW DID U GUYS PAID BACK?
i knew it!i don't need to ask and they would just tell...
life without grandpa is bored..and this is something until today when i thought of it i would still shed a tear...WHY WOULD THAT FUCKING HOSPITAL DID SUCH BLOODY MISTAKE?
i regretted for not giving the nurses extra punch!grandpa wouldn't like it but i couldn't take it!
a grandpa which i respect and love most....5 years dy....

14112008-------------->it has called to an END...

my final paper..law paper 2..haha~so..yesterday didn't sleep...same for today..no sleep!
and have no idea wat the fuck was wrong with me simply started to feel sleepy because no coke and no mood to study..ouh~~~~~sad!
luckily i covered up most of the things yesterday..or i would really die..
anyway...i finished my police powers in college within 2 hours..hoho!i'm great..^^
thank god i have my notes with me...
hmm...i hadn't finished reading yet during lunch and i got so tension that i started to tremble...
so at the end of the day i had a can of coke...breakfast went with an empty tummy and a can of mocha latte..
exam..started...and my hunches were correcT!woooooo~~~
equity really came out...damn it!ok..i sux in it and hence i did nothing...i did the second question instead..which turned out to be kinda alright for me..
jp~wowowow!and.......court structure...huh...
i lack of time again today but at least i wrote something instead of leaving it blank..arrgh!
sir said my look during the exam was so tension and sleepy he almost knocked my head down to wake me up~o.O
after exam....went to mid valley with jas and angel...i went for food at kim gary!
yes...outta no where i had gastric during exam...sick!then ordered lotsa food...
2 pieces of fried chicken wing,1 french toast,1 big plate of french fries...and a cup of coke..
the french toast...were filled with...PEANUT BUTTER!omg..i don't like peanut butter..
i didn't knew bout it until i put it in my mouth..peanut butter not that nice...that taste is kinda weird and irritating to me..
hmm...then chatted for a while me and angel left and went home..
while waiting for the train i started to spam..or i think i might faint sumwhere there..
and the fucking phone was like RAN OUTTA BATTERY SUDDENLY!
thank god that time train's here dy...when it reached kl central..i got a nice seat with air-cond...
so i yawned and yawned and fell asleep..haha...
went out and stuffs....had dota...now extremely sleepy~
ok i shall go to bed dy!ouh...T_T
didn't dota with my brother and baby sitter tonight..haha.....all of them busy playing ryl!!!
no fair no fair~~~~cox i can't download that thing...SAD!!!!

13112008------>i'm sad...depressed and disappointed

*sigh...i didn't sleep for the whole fucking night...stayed up studying..ok..lets see...i covered up almost everything dy....i'm serious..
law&morality,jp,legislation,dl,SI,CPS,HRA,lay participation......
why no common law&equity?why no police powers?why no legal professions?why no this...?no that?cox i sux in common law...i dislike adr...police powers too much..din really read..legal professions got bored of it..so?sigh*
so...i went out at 8am this morning happily grabbing watever materials i feel like bringing...my file too big dy and can't read up so many things..so i brought watever i think is alright..
thanks to ktm...the train late for 10~15 mins again!!!stupid train...
then...walked to mcd...ok..i stress..am REALLY STRESS...
i hadn't stop eating since yesterday....i just kept eating and eating...
yesterday after having dinner..when daddy cooked again he fried the vege..i ate again..then i drank coke..then...midnight i had a bowl of mushroom soup..then this morning 5smth..had a cup of oats..then...went to mcd for breakfast..then had chee cheong fun for lunch..then had a piece of cholocate bread for tea..yes..now..and i jux finished eating..and dinner up next..and supper later..
aite..so i was curious and anxious about the paper..never had that feeling unless i felt that i'm well prepared...
when i went for breakfast...i finished up juries..and all~then went to library..lolx..filled with people..i haven't seen so much people in the library before..anyway i went in..
jas was busy listening to the records..so i sat with mei kuan...hmm..i started to study..
ya...i don't know where to start..where to stop...and i'm so stupid..i had 2 sets of notes...one plainly on cps..the other one would be bail&cps..
too blind dy...i read the CPS notes alone without BAIL..ouh...and i simply didn't give a damn bout it after i realized..i only said i'm stupid and i started HRA...haha
lolx..then...study study study only i realised my HRA dun have case law to cite..so...so...looked back at my notes..i didn't write enough of infomation there..
grabbed a book and start writing down important case law..lolx..lolxx..when i'm done...almost..jas came and said..lets go makan chee cheong fun..
brought my notes and book along of course..i haven't memorize my case law for SI..yea..too confident till i forgotten all the cases..lolx..simply looking up the cases and time's up..walked back to college..
no time to study dy...and the tension in me is driving me nuts..so i told myself that i have to be calm go in pray hard and write..crap~because I COVERED ALMOST EVERYTHING dy...
question papers were then distributed..and i got so HAPPy...sentencing,court structure,DL,SI,HRA,Lay Participation..and one more forgotten...and 6 pick 3..I KNOW THE ANSWERS!!!OH FUCK OH FUCK..
i was so happy..i thought cambridge gonna screwed us when actually the questions was kinda easy and nice..
i chose SI,Lay participation and DL..then...my SI so fucking long..3~4 pages..till i got not enuf time to really crap bout my Lay participation and my DL...MY DL!!!!!!THE ONE THAT IS ALWAYS IN MY MIND!!!!FUCK!!!!
I DIDN'T ANSWER MY DL~~I DIDN'T HAVE THE TIME TO DO SO...MY FAULT...is ALL MY FAULT..I DIDN'T PRACTICE..DIDN'T TIME MYSELF...THAT'S THE RESULT..
i only answered 50/75 instead of 75/75...my 25 marks simply GONE!!!!!!!!!forever and ever..
my A also NO MORE...ouh..that's sad..very sad...
and i'm sad now..depressed and disappointed...sigh*
tomorrow paper 2!I SWEAR I'LL DEFINITELY FINISH UP ALL 50marks..I DON'T CARE!!!!ish...wat i have to do tonight would be study POLICE POWERS and the rest of the things...i'm NOT GONNA TOUCH ON THE STUPID ADR...
i'm so tired....so sad..so sleepy now~

12112008----------->my brain went haywire again...

today..i was supposed to go tsun jin with aunty connie and desmond..aite..so i went!i was supposed to wake up at 9am eventhough i off my laptop at 5am...
the problem with me is...the whole fucking 4 hours i simply couldn't fall asleep..
once i shut my eyes..the things that flew in my mind was HOW HORRIBLE WOULD BE THE LAW PAPER...ya..i didn't study..FOR MONTHS!all in mind was watever i read few months ago~
i'm so fucked up...so i got up and read watever novels that i haven't finish reading them...hopefully i would fall asleep..
HEAVEN'S SAKE..i finished all 3 books..and i'm still wide awake..so i wrote my stupid essay..ok..halfway through..i got fed up of it..due to the ugly writing on the paper..i hate it..
then i went and lied on my bed again..and i stared blankly at the ceiling..so i turn on my laptop and looked for songs..hopefully i found someone online at that time..it was 8smth..
unfortunately..none of teh humans are available..then i heard noises outside..so i simply shut the lid of my laptop and went back to bed..i don't want them coming into my room and screwed me again..
hmm..9 in the morning..my alarm clock rang..i forgotten to off it~then i lied there..without moving..till 9.30 i bath and waited for my aunt to come..
waited for around half an hour..she said 10am..haix..anyway..we went to tsun jin..and got rejected..desmond's result not that good and the school haven't start arranging classes and intakes for transfered students..so..went back fruitlessly..
aite..back home..i thought i would be tired and sleep for like 4 hours..i'm sick~i couldn't sleep!!!so..online chat surf..read continue that essay..walking here and there..
after lunch i thought i could sleep again..ok this time too full..can't even lay in peace..so...laptop again..essay again..law studies again..until......3smth..i guess..
when it started to rain when i heard storms..i turn off my laptop and read a story book and finally i felt sleepy and fell asleep...oh god!!almost 30hours sleepless..ya..that's me!
woke up 7smth..left only jack and me around..dad,roc and uncle menglek went out..o.O i went straight to the refrigerator and started to hunt for my coca cola..i found none..
never mind..i continued my essay and chatted till dad got back and i asked him..he said..you blind or wat?i bought so many and u said nothing there..haha..so i went back and looked again..
my cans of coca cola was hidden behind..far behind..something blocked them..lolx~~
then..then..nothing much~simply open the can of drink and err..start staring at the book..then i got pist..then moodless..then chatting then..i called lolo..
yea..my best senior...haha..outta no where i realised actually i had everything in mind..but..they were all mixed up..
so for the rest of the night..i'm gonna read up everything and get all the things sort out~
I'M NOT GONNA SLEEP TILL THAT PAPER ENDS...meaning another sleepless night till 3pm..or maybe 4pm...sigh..
praying hard that equity and adr not coming out..i sux in that 2 chapters..case laws are frust..the years are irritating and annoying sometimes..sigh
another 36 hours and my exams would call to an end!i'm looking forward to it~~hoho!!
i wanna go for the run..who's gonna fetch me?!?!???!

*damn it..outta no where u poped into my mind again..damn u!ish~I'M SO GONNA HATE YOU!i will prove you wrong that i could actually hate someone..yong said i'm too dumb and stupid to hurt and hate someone..i will prove you WRONG!!!!i don't wanna be a good hearted girl dy..please turn me into a demon or watsoever..should i worship satan instead?haha^^

11112008--------------->happy bday dessan

today's dessan's birthday..haha^^ya..i knew him for around 8 years dy..haha..
we were primary school mates and he sat beside me during the standard 6 year..haha^^
hmm...he's a nice guy tho...got hurt by quite a number of girls dy i think..have no idea..
anyway..may he have a happy 18th birthday...
aite..back to my day...is kinda fucked up...
why?
because i didn't study..i didn't prepare..simply motivationless to write my essays..
ouh...but i didn't really game..serious i didn't game much..
anyway..law..haha..my mind having great war..
my law studies are trying to conquer my mind..
haven't sleep and i have no idea how come i could stay up till late night..
been having suppers suppers and more suppers every night..
simply didn't gain any weight..*sigh

08112008--------------->where's my sun?

i don't think i'm stable lately..haha..i think i'm emo~i have no idea how'd i felt..
anyway..that doesn't really matters...
slept at 6.40am and woke up at 5pm..haha~again...i'm really a big baby..
anyway...went online...then mummy came back and asked if i'm gonna follow them to the hospital..
hmm..the last time i visited granny was like few weeks back..so i decided to go..
since i've got nothing better to do staying at home..
my dear granny...she changed a lot!she really did changed a lot!
the moment i saw her..is NO MORE MY BELOVED GRANNY..
i miss her so much..although she can recognised me..but because of alzhemeir's..i think she lost part of her memory dy..she's like a kid now..
i couldn't talk to her..i can only feel the pain..then suddenly i realised the tears were tryin to roll down..
so i walked out from the ward..and first time ever i no longer fear the height of the bloody hospital..
i could actually lean against the window and look outside..first time my legs didn't tremble and my palms weren't sweaty..
after that i went back to the ward and joined them....i told myself i can't cry...
my granny made me thought of ashley anne's granny..her granny had alzheimer's as well..
and i remembered..that time i was so small..i was only 10..and i duno anything bout alzheimeirs..
so i fooled her granny..not really fooled..but we played around with her granny..
i felt so bad suddenly...anyway her granny passed away few years ago..hmm...
then..went for dinner..had nasi lemak at jalan antarabangsa..
not bad..haha~then headed home..
aite..nothing much..but thinking of granny made me emo..aww~i miss my granny so much!
i miss her cooking..sigh*

07112008---------------->hrmm..

hmm..my day..is only filled v games and sleep~ya..i din study again...
hmm..slept at 6 something this morning and woke up at 6pm..why?
cox daddy called back outta sudden..haix...he disturbed my dream..
at 5pm..i woke up suddenly v a shock..haha..i stared at the clock and i was like..
ouh it's 5pm and no one disturbed me!haha..then i fell back to sleep..
anyway...jack's back from his hostel..he's having his year end holidays now..
good for him tho..haha...hmm..boring day~
urgh..nothing much bout today..
no coke meaning no life..no motivation..ish!
i'll go get some and keep it for myself 2mrw..
i really need to study..law's up next..and i haven't even touch them..
ishish~~

06112008------------me sad..

sigh..studied econx for the whole farking night and i simply can't finish the 123pages..sad..i didn't even do any of the past year questions because i did them months ago..and due to my laziness..i didn't prepare well for the stupid econx..
aite..so..by 7.30 i still left around 4 chapters unread..lolx..i told myself..nvm...is fated you can't sit for the exam well..so what i brought to college was the notes i had with me..i didn't even bring the text books and my whole seminar pack,past year questions..
i brought my trial papers..and after a morning shower i walked to the train station...fucked i forgotten that i would be late cox this morning it rains heavily...sigh..sigh..by the time i reached the bloody train station...i stared blankly at it~it was so crowded..
when the train arrived..hoho~i thought i couldn't board..cox it was fucking crowded and thanks to one of the passenger he made some space and let me in...or else i would be late for my exam...
then...then..then..reached college dy..everyone's studying..a ha~i made the right choice...for not bringing my books..wat for bringing the books when u don't even have the time to study?wat i did was..i clarified those parts that i couldn't understand and walked into the exam hall..
heaven's sake..the stupid classroom was so so so cold!ish ish~brain froze..anyway...i managed to finish all 30 multiple choice questions in time and hmm...watever is done is done..i don't have the mood to think of it...
paper 2 up in next half an hour and i realised that i didn't even memorized any of the definitions..thank to my cleverness..i couldn't even remember a simply definition of inflation..anyway..those questions were outta my expectation...thank god!really thank god!
because watever i read was cost-benefit analysis...holy!i was so shocked when i saw that question..balance of payments,international trade none of them were in my mind..hoho~anyway..i managed to crap through all the questions within the time frame..
after that went for lunch and i reached home at 4pm..yes..whole night no sleep and i went online again...played a game..i went for a nap..had flower crab for dinner..
for god's sake..i think i had slight fever..neway,don't care but carry on v games and more games..
and because of my stupidity,i didn't get back my book from him..why would i do such crazy thing when i knew that he would avoid me?so..i still feel sad after a month..fuck man!seriously fucked up this time..
sigh..sigh..so i'm emo tonight..i think..due to the lack of sleep and because i screwed my exam...and BECAUSE I STILL HAD THE FUCKING URGE TO KNOW THE STUPID ANSWER!why would you ditch me before EXAMS?!damn u~damn you!seriously damn you!why would the fucking 10 days made so much differences?

05112008------------->fucking emo~

2mrw would be my stupid econx exam..heaven's sake..i'm not studying..simply couldn't study...every line i read seems so familiar to me..but god damn it..i tend to know everything but when i wanna explain to myself i seems to don't know everything..
fucking tense..i'm so bloody emo now..i know tears are gonna roll down my cheek soon..
ish ish~i hate having this kinda feeling..i hate the phobias of exam..fuck you!ish ish ish!!!!!!!
tonight i don't have coke to lemme stay awake..i need more and more coke..simply more of them...
yes..i got addicted to coke..and i need them to stay awake...
huh...no game..no coke..no study...wat do i want?i have no idea..
my mind's blank..and i'm emo..and i'm pist of myself..and my body's aching..
and i feel fucking sick~
sad..sad.............................................................

04112008------------->my econx paper up next..

today..another tough day huh?i was happily sleeping and my mum came into my room just to scream at me!only if i weren't her daughter i would asked her to shut up!
one thing i hate most is someone disturbed my sleep..that feeling sux!and one thing they love most is they'll just walk into the room and bloody wake you up~
last time would be daddy start playing loud music out of no where..and mum started to shout and brothers then would be either jack or roc coming into the room and bang my bloody room door..
now?jack's in hostel..i wonder if one day they leave me in peace they would die of boredom..
aite..so economics up next..and wat the fuck had i done the whole day?
i was sitting there..chatting and gaming..simply got no mood to study~..ish!
no maid so wat?i'm not being calculative when ur the one!fuck you~u can do the ironing urself and leave the rest alone..when they need the clothes they'll just do it..don't screw me simply because i din do the chores!
aite..so daddy called and err..i cooked the rice and he came back and cooked fried rice..
was kinda happy playing dota v the skype on v the rest of them..then suddenly i heard voices coming from downstairs..
so mum came back!i knew something is wrong...i can sense it!
simply forgotten to throw away a plastic bag u can just leave it there!bloody fucking don't screw me!when i don't make a noise doesn't meant that i could take it..and i'm serious~
hmm..so had a stupid dinner..finished the food and i'm back in jack's room..
then played..and it was like WAT THE FUCK THE GAME LAG SHIT..
so i got disconnected and no more game for me..good tho..
i was sitting here doing nuts..simply can't read anything..econx is a piece of shit..
urgh...my mood is swinging and swinging..can someone help me stop it?shit!

03112008---------------->miserable life..

urgh..let's see wat to talk about today..stupid roc woke me up in the middle of my sleep..could u like please fuck off for a day and just leave me alone in peacefulness?
i'm always like this..when i had problems and i don't share them..sigh..so wat?i share and i get nothing..wat i get in return is just some relief..
nevermind..i called chang today..haha~talking to him would be forever that nice..hmm..he's looking for part time job..yes..and i should look for mine as well..
after that no game no game...no game..
for the sake of my mum..i did the chores..i swept the floors and moped them..and i even bathed fatty brown..
i wonder if you guys could just leave me alone for a sec..i will do those chores when i'm in the mood of doing..don't nag me if you don't wanna have a great fight..
after everything..done~bathed!online again..online online online..
was waiting for game..busy gathering people..
and..daddy called back..asked me wat would i like for dinner..
nevermind of that..we made a choice to go SS2 for dinner...
till spect knew that i'll be going SS2 he asked me not to go due to the bloody traffic..
aite..waited for mum to get home..and we headed to desa park city..rakuzen..
wasn't a nice dinner afterall..because..i'm not in the mood of eating..
i ordered sashimi..and erm..not bad tho~
my mood is kinda shaky lately..urgh..and this kinda feeling is pissing me off!
ouh~then i got home after dinner..and they just started the game..
then..then then..nothing i was doing nothing but chores again..eww..
but i had 2 games after that..not bad..hmm..improved a lot compared to my first 2 weeks..
i had been playing for 24/7 lately..if there's no improvement..i'm stupid or simply dumb then..
yes..you brought me into the game so wat?one fine day i'll definitely have the ability of pawning you..please be prepared..i'll just walk to the cyber cafe v chang and pawn you..
i'm mean i'm evil..i simply couldn't get you off my mind!eww and that's painful..that's disgusting!
i couldn't hate you..wat i could do is only nuts..
i'm like a fucked up bitch right now..with my own fucked up life..

周杰伦 - 给我一首歌的时间

作词：周杰伦
作曲：周杰伦
专辑：魔杰座
====================================================================
雨淋湿了天空 毁得很讲究
你说你不懂为何在这时牵手
我晒干了沉默 悔得很冲动
就算这次做错也只是怕错过

在一起叫 梦 分开了叫 痛
是不是说没有做完的梦最痛
迷路的后 果 我能承受
这最后的出口 在爱过了才有

能不能给我一首歌的时间
静静的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的怀里 你不用害怕失眠
如果你想忘记我也能失忆
能不能给我一首歌的时间
把故事听到最后才说再见
你送我的眼泪 让它留在雨天
越过你划的线我定了勇气的终点

雨淋湿了天空 毁得很讲究
你说你不懂我为何在这时牵手
我晒干了沉默 悔得很冲动
就算这次做错也只是怕错过

在一起叫 梦 分开了叫 痛
是不是说没有做完的梦最痛
迷路的后果 我能承受
这最后的出口 在爱过了才有

能不能给我一首歌的时间
静静的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的怀里 你不用害怕失眠
如果你想忘记我也能失忆
能不能给我一首歌的时间
把故事听到最后才说再见
你送我的眼泪 让它留在雨天
越过你划的线我定了勇气的终点

你说我不该 不该
不该在这个时候 说了我爱你
要怎么证明我没有说谎的力气
请告诉我 暂停算不算放弃
我只有那一天的回忆

能不能给我一首歌的时间
静静的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的怀里 你不用害怕失眠
如果你想忘记我也能失忆
能不能给我一首歌的时间
把故事听到最后才说再见
你送我的眼泪 让他留在雨天
越过你划的线我定了勇气的终点

你说我不该 不该
不该在这个时候说了爱你
要怎么证明我没力气
告诉我暂停算不算放弃
我说我不该 不该在这时候才说爱你
要怎么证明我没有力气
我只有那一天的回忆

02112008------------>i'm having a screwed life~

well..basically i'm jux wasting all my time playing dota lately~
i wonder what the fuck is wrong with me myself right now!
i don't game much...the only game i went crazy was need for speed..and now..i craved for dota..
life is so bloody screwed!i sat for my stats paper last friday...
outta my expectation it was kinda easy...aite..hopefully it's as easy as wat is seen...
i realised that whenever i don't wanna face the reality i would bury myself in games and books..
since young it has been like this..should i change it or i'll just keep it on?
anyway...some idiots played fire on me today..
don't guys out there..don't try to screw someone before that fella screw you..
although ur on the web doesn't meant that u could play with one's limits..
so at the end of the day i got so pist off~and i started to scold them..
yes..and i think that would be years after my last time screwing someone like that..
i don't usually said that much of vulgar words..not when i'm really really mad..
but if i were to scold my brothers when i'm really really angry..
i don't scold..i'll just tell them loads of stuffs and they'll end up crying..
i did that once to my bro~and that was scary...because not even a fuck came out from me..
i'm always tolerating with people because chang told me i should do so..
he said it would be nice if we treat others good eventhough they don't treat us good..
but those asses were really too much..
and i'm always very lucky...because there're always people to back me up~
and now i wonder wat is wrong with the guys there..
sexism?girls can't play dota because guys don't play with dolls..
and i'm telling wat the fuck when some of my guy friends play dolls?
spect was right..i shouldn't fight with them when i don't even know them..
i got really really pist when they traced my profile...
and thank god none of my friends as in i don't really go tell everyone i has a blog here..
so luckily they see nothing...hmm..anyway i got really really pist~at that very moment..
i couldn't imagine wat i would do when i got really really mad against a stranger...
maybe i would give him 2 tight slaps and a great big punch..
anyway...i had great time playing v mun,spect and drugs and all..
econx exam is drawing nearer..simply couldn't get my head outta this laptop..
i wish i would be able to move my fingers towards the book instead of the keyboard..
hehe^^haix..haix~~
my life is so miserable...get me a pail of water and pour them on me..
i should wake up from my dream!ouh~~

24102008--------------->bored

ok..another boring day..why?i went to bed at 5am and woke up at 4pm..lolx..11 hours of sleep..
ya..woke up..sat there then i had the sudden urge to bath for fatty brown...
so i bathed her...haha~she smells lately..*sigh
then?i played dota again..gaming gaming gaming..
wat a stupid life i'm having...
then waited for bros to come back from schools and tuition...
went to grandma house..
ya..as if it's some kinda great day..to me it seems another family gathering..
anyway..i buried myself in movies and foods again..
went home late late at night...
with a half drunk dad and fucking drunk uncle..
aww...c'mon if u were to drink till like an idiot~then don't drink from the start..
bloody ass..not that i wanna swear here..but it simply pist me off!
anyway..reached home late..cudn't really stay up...parents been screwing me non-stop..
sigh

23102008----------------->screw me~!

another sleepless night?lolx..i went to bed at 6.30 this morning..wat a nice time to sleep huh~
slept and woke up..got shocked by the msg that i received from dad..
"gud morning darling,call me when u wake up~"goodness..
i called..and..omg omg~~he told me..that...grandma had alzheimer's..ok..
2days ago was told by aunt that she had a mild stroke..
yesterday aunt informed me that grandma wasn't in a very good condition..
today daddy said she had alzheimer's..wat a good news!
and..so~he wants me to go visit her at the hospital..
aite~she's suppose to discharge from the hospital this week..because of dental..she stayed..
and i duno wat the fuck is wrong~she had a mild stroke in the morning..
bloody hospital don't even give a damn about it~simply said because her blood pressure was low~
fine..then the day before yesterday only went for scanning..the report was collected yesterday evening..
ok~multiple infarcts..instead of getting a specialist..they get her a physician..
and my aunt duno anything..until i told her u better go get a specialist..transfer granny to another hospital..
this afternoon~i went!ok..i'm a coward..i don't dare to go on my own..i had phobia visiting hospitals...thanks to tawakal!
everyone's busy~busy~go bank,dye hair..fine!i went v uncle menglek..
grandma CAN'T recognise me anymore..the pain..is so much worst than losing a boyfriend..
18 years..i stayed with her..and outta no where she CUDN'T remember~WAT THE FUCK!
she was staring blankly at me..goodness!!!!!then i called DR.Ricky..chang's uncle..
now..that half her body's paralyzed..memory lost..make her movement priority..
aging stroke..
the stupid and arrogant bastard...the idiot physician~I KNOW I'M NOT A PHYSICIAN!
AND I KNOW I LOOK LIKE A KID~FUCK YOU!HOW DARE YOU STARE AT ME LIKE I'M SOME SORT OF IDIOT?
ur such an asshole..don't make me curse you right in front of ur face..and don't u think that i dare not do that..i've did smth even worst in the hospital..
granny's behaving like a kid now..that's still not the worst part..
she kept wanting to get up~sigh..half paralyzed..as in half her right part of body paralyzed..
how the hell is she suppose to get up?
in order to prevent myself from crying i got out from the ward..
sat there..kept myself busy...simply texting everyone..
didn't eat anything since i woke up..lost of appetite..
i'm worried..i'm scared..i'm afraid that she might jux passed away in the hospital..
i HATE hospitals..because of they're carelessness..i lost a grandpa..
i don't know if i'm gonna lose another one..i'll definitely screw the hospital if this happen so..
went of v uncle..not until chang told me to makan..so~
uncle bought me and roc dinner..hoho~very kind of him to buy us japanese food..
aite..actually my plan was to like play dota till i got tired and sleepy i wud go to bed..
i'm avoiding the fact so?i'm afraid..sad things come together..
cud the sad stuffs jux fuck off?urgh~then?nth much...
online...played a game only...tom and spect din join...
played v 2 strangers..remaked once...got screwed by one of them once..
ok i'm sad..so i quit at the almost end of the game..sorry~
i really cudn't take it anymore..i thought i cud..
how much more sad stuffs are coming up?no body knows..


i'm vain, so?

22102008------>outta sudden i became a dota freak

omg omg omg~i really cudn't believe it!haha~i've been gaming for like..a week..non-stop!hoho~ and..lolx..lolx..since last saturday i started to play v tom..
then sunday..i cud really handle the guys alone..wow~i cudn't believe it!
oki..get back to it..I DIDN'T STUDY!!paper 6 wud be next FRIDAY..
and i'm always telling myself...u have loads of time...to prepare..don't worry..
and..now..i left~8days!
so..my day was fun~dad and mum went to kota bharu early this morning..
hmm..6smth they left~ then..went lunch v mimi..^^hehe~
wanted to ask chang to come fetch us..but that brother was busy..lolx~so i walked home..
wanted to go yumcha v tom..but he's at monash library revising..so?
i went online..and hunt for mun mun..and wakaka~DOTA..
mun wasted 4 hours teaching me dota stuffs..very nice of him to explain everything to me.. every item that i don't understand..wowowowow..
then...then~while chatting..jasmine came..
lolx..she ar..disturbed my beloved neighbour..and spec..
she even told spec that she's my sister..omg~and..and~nth much actually..
we went dinner together..brought roc along.. chatted bout stuffs..
no time to think bout guys..my mind is filled v games and games!
NEED FOR SPEED release its new version few days ago~ok..i'm gonna get it!
had my new acc in garena..hehe..i became purple this time.. lolx..drugs' a nice guy...haha..
that fook out there...if u think i'm a kid..i'll tell you~I'M PROUD BEING A KID!ish~
lolx..lolx..was lmao when drugs teased that "jeremy"...muahaha..
*lmao--laughing my ass off*
neway had nice game..hehe.. gud game...happy day..lolx~no worries^^
shall go to bed..asap~i'm feeling exhausted...but i'm so bloody energetic~
didn't really get enuf of sleep lately...had been staying up till late night lately..
mum's so gonna screw me if she knew bout it..
aite..nth much lately..haha..i deleted all the msgs last night..hehe~
and yea..buying new phone but not expensive one..jux normal phone same as dads'...
will save money for jay's album first..lolx~~ya i'm crazy over him so wat?
like is not up to you to control me..hehe~~
hmm..bored..shall rest..



ok i'm vain so?lolx~~

21102008------------>another dota night?

ya..yesterday i went supper with daddy..jux i cudn't believe that yong really waited for an hour..
for a game..haha~fun playing v him tho..
i'm ready to get pawn by him..hmm..anyway i lost the game..haha..
he went to bed after that and i sat there doing nothing..
when i was about to turn off everything i found something interesting on facebook..
haha~i started to play the game..then i sticked my eyes to the screen for duno how long..ouh~
until i managed to finish the whole is already 7am..
ya i'm so tired but i'm awake..hehe^^that's me..
i'll get things done when i wanted to..nothing can stops me from getting it..
read my novel before i sleep..so i went to bed 8am this morning..
happily sleeping..till 3pm..hehe..
had a weird dream but nevermind of that..
then then~~~chatting again..bored..doing nothing..
then spec came up..haha..so chatted v him..
bored..then yong came back..
then dota..then rest..then dinner..dota again..
i played too much dy till daddy said he's gonna confiscate my laptop...
please don't!i'll die without this~hmm..
simply felt motivationless to study..wat to do?
i wanted to go for a MOVIE!!!!movie......
time to go to bed..i need to rest~

20102008------------------>happy weih~

wat a happy day..hehe^^
wasted one whole afternoon watching hong kong drama [the four]..
ya..the drama's simply awesome!haha^^
don't ask me why..is jux one of my ways destressing myself..
ya..i'm lazy..so?aikx~i'll get my bloody eyes off the laptop and stick them to the book...
had great time playing dota~
ok..first..the ways of playing are so different!
i can feel the team work among us..and is just different from playing v fui kor and sze wee.. simply different..maybe because i learnt something..i have no idea..haha..
chang and fiona's issues settled..and i really couldn't believe that chang threw away all the things! is jux shocking!i wonder if u dump away the stuffs i gave you...haha *sigh*
please..u can throw everything but not the pooh bottle..i'll definitely curse you if u throw that! hmm...till today..can't really let go..i know i should jux give myself a break..
ouh..c'mon i wanted to~but i jux cudn't!not that i don't want to...ish!
had 2 great games..first game was..fantastic?but bloody sad..cox there're leavers..
the second game was just tough and it was so close..we cud have lost the game..haha
cox i'm the feeder..ya..i fed the opponents..they love me..soooo much!haha
thanks to drugs,mun2,tom,spec...they really taught me a lot...
yea..nox is part of the team..but he was the opp in the second game..
so...the whole team was a great team..haha..
thanks for taking me as part of the team..i'm glad~that u guys taught me!^^
aite...then i went for supper because daddy asked to..haha lolx..lolx~~
neway i really had great time staying at home lately..
i'm so used to be home alone now..
chang discarded his digi..should i do the same as well?ouh..i have no idea~

19102008------------->下雨天。。

今天，下了一整天的雨。。最近雨季，还真的得天天撑伞出街~
今天被老爸吵醒之后就再也睡不着了。。对，我是今早7点才睡觉的！可是我中午就起床了。。
然后然后，我要看的戏都看不到~好啦！
结果就是我把所有的旧卡通片都拿出来看。。可是没多久就开始打机了。。
哇咔咔，真的是爽。。那种感觉就是爽就对啦~呵呵^^
其实也没有怎样拉，就是都在打机过日子。。
后来又是打雷又是闪电的，所以我才关掉电脑。。乖乖做数学。。
谁知道！我又在解不开了~真的很不爽。。看到就想睡觉。。
所以就去睡觉。。然后爸爸又来叫我。。然后我又再开电脑。。
反正就是开了电脑就是跟他们聊天，然后又是打机。。
就这样过了一个晚上。。也过了一天。。还不错~感觉真好！值得纪念以下。
我终于杀到人了！真的很开心！哇咔咔~是很爽！超有成就感的。。

18102008----------------->心情到了极点。。

我的心情到了极点。。很辛苦！我要看戏看不到，那个网速真的很糟糕！
从昨晚到现在。。我都不知道时再干嘛的。。啊！！！！！！！
怪谁？怪自己。。懒惰，不肯读书~难怪咯！所以才会有那么多的美国时间坐在那里看戏！
真的。。令人无言。。对。。那个就是我！
然后然后，其实也没有怎样。。昨晚在我被那个电脑搞到快要疯掉的时候。。竟然看到他上网。。
顿时，觉得，原来他没有block我。。那个感觉有点奇怪。。本来我想找他的，但是理智说不可以！
所以就没有。。然后电脑有问题，我就直接关机。。没有觉得可惜，反而觉得松了一口气。。
因为理智不常在，会突然不见掉，如果我突然找他，我觉得更难受~
恩，今天睡觉睡倒很爽的时候先是被弟弟吵醒，然后被老爸吵醒，然后被老妈吵醒。。
谁会爽？然后然后想起昨晚的事情我就打电话去鸟肥哥哥了。。我真的顶不顺了！
我已经很久没有骂人了。。我的心情真的已经到了极点~
然后然后那个网速到现在还是那么的慢！拜托。。
刚才和tom还有他的朋友打了两场dota。。呵呵！
感觉很不一样。。 就是很不一样。。还不错~
但是就是因为自己太烂了，所以。。真的帮不上忙。。我只是在倒米。。
好咯，我都不知道最近可以写些什么，真的很无聊。。
我的生活除了电脑就什么都没有。。
我真的快变成典型的宅女了。。噢！我的天啊~
有啦，最近我看到食物都吃不下。。连午餐都不想吃的人就是我。。因为觉得很腻。。可悲！




无聊的时候拍的。。我就是如此的自恋~

Whitney Houston-----I learned from the Best

Did you really think that
I would really take you back
Let you back in my heart one more time
Ohh. No. No.
Did you think that I'd still care
That there'd be more feeling there
Did you think you could walk back in my life.
So you found you miss the love you threw away.
Baby but you found it out too late. Too Late.

[Chorus:]
And so now you know the way it feels to cry
The way that I cried when you broke my world in two.
Baby I learned the way to break a heart
I learned from the best.
I learned from you.
Oh baby now.
I learned from you
I remember cold nights
Tears I though would never dry
How you shattered my world
With your goodbye.Your goodbye baby
Would've sold my soul then.
Just to have you back again
Now you're the last thing on my mind.
Now you say your sorry and
You've changed your ways
Sorry but you changed you ways too late.

[Chorus]

So when all you've got are sleepless nights
When those tears are clouding up your eyes
Just remember it was you who said goodbye
Who said goodbye.

[Instrumental break]

[Chorus]

17102008------------->一切的一切都是注定的！

很多东西都是注定的，怎么逃都逃不掉。。其实，很多东西在小时候就已经预言了，只是自己不肯相信。。
小时候爸爸就告诉我不能那么早交男朋友。。会影响学业。。可忠言逆耳。。哈哈~
我就是不觉得会影响。。的确，交了一个好的男朋友，确实是不会影响学业。。
但相反的话又是怎样的？只能说我有眼无珠？还是说我不够成熟？更直接一点会是我自己一意孤行。。固执~
好啦，经历过那么多场风暴。。在我想休息的时候。。我身边的朋友却不断地出问题！哎哟~
先是昌。。他的恋情，我本来就说过不会有结果。。好啦，今天终于来个了结。。
然后然后，我明明今天就在那里看戏看到很开心。。很爽。。
突然间钻均又在那里闹分手~唉！你们有没有烦一点？
为什么要这样呢？什么事情都不能好好聊以下就是一定要吵架。。
是不是好人都不会有好报？昌那么好却被女生耍。。那个女生真的让我无言。。
可是钻均和哥哥是我也不懂要说什么的！三天不到两天吵架。。
前一阵子就是哥哥要分手，现在就是钻均自己闹分手~哦！很好玩吗？
考试前夕分手一点都不好受！或许你没有尝试过，但是真的不好受。。
记得不要做让自己后悔的事情就好了。。
你们之间的事情我不想插手。。本来我已经不关了，却因为他的一句话而再次插手。。
这次我真的不想知道。。也不会当中间人，的确我不知道应该帮谁。。
情人之间的事情本来就是应该两个人自己解决不应该有第三者的加入。。
其实男生和女生都一样，就如天气，说变就变~
今天爸爸回来咯。。呵呵~可是明天他又和妈妈去吉兰丹。。唉~小时候的生活又来咯。。
幸好现在长大了，而且已经习惯了，所以还好。。
今天又是下了一整天的雨。。如果不是我在看戏的话，我想我会想起很多很多东西吧~
其实自己很喜欢雨天，因为我喜欢淋雨的感觉。。很爽。。那种被雨滴拍打的感觉是很开心。。
好像什么烦恼都会不见掉。。有一次，我和大姐还有一伙人去吃午餐，然后才刚吃完，就下起大雨了。。
我们就一大伙人一起冲着跑回家。。那种感觉是很爽的。。虽然回到家的时候都湿透了。。可是，我们都在笑。。呵呵~^^
还有，有一次我生病了，发着高烧，到站的时候看到大姐和铜在巴士站，我就打了通电话给荣。。
那个在睡觉的人竟然大发慈悲从家里带了把雨伞给我。。呵呵。。
还有很多很多的回忆，其实都是很美好的~
恩，人是真的会变吧？我都不知道自己在写些什么了~算了吧！

it's like a curse

haha..i wondered how come me and chang's relationship were so funny..
it's like a curse...it's like some sorta jinx..
first i got to know that guy..then chang got to know fiona...
ya..then chang started the relationship with fiona..
then after months..i got dumped..
then now chang got dumped..
ouh~i simply dun like the months after june!
they suckx in a way...
it has always been like this since 2006...
c'mon..
chang,don't be sad..i think it's fated that bastards and bitches are meant to be together..
the combination of a bastard and a non bitch would be awkward..
when i need you you're always there..
so i'll be here for you when you need me.
jux 1 thing i cudn't understand..why would u go tell fiona that i said she's a bitch!
although i still thinks she's one..haix..haix~

*heavy rain..it would be a great time to sleep..

16102008----------->boring day

hmm..wat a boring day!i did nothing..haha~
mum woke me up early in the morning..alright wasn't that early..it was 10.30 in the morning..
i was having my sweet sweet dream afterall..aikx!just because she said she didn't bought lunch for me..*Sigh*
went out and bought lunch with her and i bumped into xiang and hong..haha~
the last time i met him was..hmm..his birthday~ya..6th of september because they celebrated it a day later..(yong told me..and i could actually remember that)^^
got home..sat there..read newspapers..slacking..
and finally i TURNED ON the tv..ouh~~switched to AXN..
muahaha..it was showing CSI..and i got so excited..so i sat there...and watched..
was showing new york that time..wanted to watch miami more..so i waited but i watched anyway..
then numb3rs was showed before miami..alright..i'm so bloody addicted to crime investigating shows..simply love them~
watched and watched till 6PM..haha..!!
and i saw yong haha~~he drove his friend's estima~~oh god..
i was so shocked!!!so shocked..because i didn't knew that he could drive..
anyway,it started to rain again at 4 smth..and nothing..i bathed and i started to surf the net..
watched movies..fixed stuffs..ouh..jux boring!
had a video call with kor from UK..haha~
and chang joined us..not bad not bad~
urgh..has nothing better to do now..
watching [the four]..hehe^^

part ll

had mcd,i should be glad right?ouh~i only felt the FULLNESS in me instead of the satisfaction..
so..basically was sitting in the room staring at the laptop..watching drama~
haha^^whole night..till i got fed up because the loading speed was so slow..
daddy went to malacca again with uncle menglek..
i wonder when only they're coming back..haix!project project project..
chang was all the while busy with his games..and he's exam would be next week~
haha^^ouh yea..[the four]theme song was nice tho..
i'm so indulge with [mou ching]'s character..he's smart!and cool..
waited for mum to come back for dinner..was raining heavily outside...
the weather's jux horrible lately..sunny then suddenly it started to storm and rain..
chatted with zhian..simply a guy i know through net..
he's a pianist..haha^^serious..he could play very very well~
and the shocking part is he's only 17!god god..wat a talented pianist..
hmm...chatted with lolo...
with roy as well..but like normal..he's always busy and filled with meetings and stuffs!
then now..jasmine's telling me that i didn't gave her back her notes..
ouh..because i don't remember seeing her notes flying around my stacks of papers..
nevermind,if i couldn't find it and she insisted that i took it..
i'll just spare sometime and copy another set for her..
hmm...is alright for me!
i'm just tired and fed up of the life i'm having right now~
staring blankly at my textbookx would be one of my fav. hobbies last time..
not now..i don't find that interesting anymore..
but i missed those days when i started to stare and my phone would definitely buzz..
is either a call from s'pore or a msg from him..how nice!
i do miss him~the days just won't flow back..
and to the another him..i'm total speechless of wat you did..
simply because i couldn't hate you..so please just leave my life alone..
i will leave yours alone as well...
let's not intersects each others life aite?thanks..

15102008----------->part I

*sigh*my first paper..maths paper 1..didn't really screwed myself up today..thank god!
it was expected to be tough tho..this was because the previous paper was kinda easy?
didn't sleep well last night..just something out of my expectation happened..
who could fall asleep after such thing?gosh~it's a disaster!nightmare!!!
i think i'm the stupidest girl now..who the hell on earth would miss the guy who dumped you?
ish...summore cried just because he hanged up a call..
ya..the most hurtful part would be when he sms-ed and asked..
[sorry...who are you?]haha..haha..
he really forgotten who am i or simply a way of hurting me?
c'mon there was once that number kept blinking at the lcd of ur bloody hp..
and u don't even recognise the number..DON'T LIE!
so..and so...
i wanted to sleep but due to the sudden disaster..i..couldn't sleep..
and there's when i received hunter daddy's message..wishing me luck..
ya,i told him i won't cry..
but~i couldn't withstand it and simply my tears came rolling down when i told fui kor bout it!
ya he's a total bastard and i'm crazy because i DON'T hate him at all..
i meditated and bloody..i remain awake!
so i did maths as i was told by dad...
out of sudden my beloved neighbour..ouh~called and asked..am i sleeping?
he distracted my focus on maths and there's when i got confused with my differentiation question!ish..ish~
yong,i tell you...you better stop disturbing me and cursing me!
arrgh~~~i solved all the questions and prepared to go to bed..
*sigh*i stared blankly at the ceiling...so i took out my story book..
read till almost 3am..finally i felt the sleepiness..god!!god!!heaven's sake..
how tense how tense..T_T
woke up in the morning and got ready for class..
i knew no matter how prepared am i..there's something lacking at a place..
i knew it!ya..he's wish..huh..huh~~
that paper was fine..simply couldn't finish in time..brain was frozen in the room..
with 4 invigilators and 8 candidates in one big big room..
who won't feel the tense?scary..scary..
overall..was alright..
went home and ordered mcd for lunch..
had my nice lunch and feeling very full now^^
rest for a day and start my paper 6 preparation tomorrow..
haha..haha..haha..

*dear chicken,happy 18th birthday..it's our BIG DAY!hehe^^

14102008--------------->今天是10月的情人节

哈哈，今天是情人节，那明天是什么？明天是我的大日子！
我考试拉～完蛋了。。我竟然现在还在这里很紧张。。。很糟糕！
本来会的东西都变到不会了。。刚才还被荣说，那时高一的东西列！
唉～都是我的错，高一的东西？我高一可没有学过微分好不好？！
竟然还要说我差，明明就是你学校变态！哼。。
明明就住我家隔壁，跩什么跩？数学很厉害大完阿？＝ｐ
考试考试考试！我现在只想做那个把头堆进沙堆里的鸵鸟。。因为我害怕明天的到来！
真的很希望明天的考试会很顺利。。
一定会很顺利的对不对？

＊我突然想起你曾经说过考试陪我的！结果却是我在独自面对。。呵呵^^

13102008--------------->我真的回来了！

经过了那么大一个经历，我想我已经清醒，已经回来了！以前的自己回来了。。
那个会乖乖拿起课本注重考试的自己回来了！真的很荣幸。。也很开心。。
如果没有昌，我的理智大概也会不来。。没有他，我的人生就是一个缺陷~因为家人就是要在一起的！
他是我的家人，因为他比朋友更重要。。家人是生活中不能缺乏的东西。。
刚才和昌讲电话~哎哟！从以前到现在，我们都是什么东西都拿出来讲。。
大家都很坦白。。对着他，我没有压力。。他~的角色永远都不会改变。。
和他讲电话的那段期间，我发觉到自己的理智已经回来了，我已经回分析事情了！
我不再感情用事，我开始知道对与错。。
经历了那么一个大风浪，我需要时间来休息。。我，受伤了还没有痊愈。。
这个痛的疗伤期间很长。。我也不知道是什么时候。。我只知道我会好好读书罢了！
今天，回去循中，继续做数学题，没有做很多，但是却觉得不少。。
冷血无情是绝佳的拍档。。昌说他要当冷血，哈哈~我想当无情多一点！
因为就是太多情了，所以当无情会比较好。。
我对他的认识已经是严重到。。小时候的默契依然存在那种地步了！
和他和政讲话的不同点在于和他讲话就好象和家人讲话一样。。没有顾忌~
真正的朋友是会互相扶助。。不会对下我们独自作战的！
我身边真正的朋友又是谁？
其实今天真的很开心的~星期三考试，病还是这个样子。。
所以我吃了晚餐，做了数学，就会去睡觉了。。
对了，临睡前要静坐！我那亲爱的弟弟说阿。。静坐会让自己更好受。。
他从来就不会骗我，所以我想我应该去静坐吧！
理智的处理自己的事情本来就是自己的作风，不应该让它不见掉。。
这段期间我的理智真的不见了。。是时候把它们要回来！
我是真的真的想回来了~

12102008------------->该怎么说？

还有两天就考试，说我不紧张时假的！可是也不能说非常紧张~
不知道该怎么形容这种心情。。
今天的病情没有严重化也没有好转。。就保持在中间。。
咳嗽还是这个死样~好辛苦！我不想吃药。。咳药水只会让我有呕吐的感觉。。而不是好转！
恩，今天是表弟的生日~呵呵^^
我们那么多人替你庆祝，有很开心吗你？希望你有个难忘的生日吧！
数学做多了也会开始厌恶。。但是还是有些地方搞不清楚！怎么办才好？
星期二好像出去开开心心的玩一场然后星期三考试！
但是我的潜意识告诉我不行，我也不可能会允许自己如此吧。。
还没有严重到这个地步。。哇咔咔~
明天只会在学校到下午12点多1点左右。。
好啦，争取好早上那段时间！昨晚数学回家就可以好好休息好好养病。。
星期二不用去找爸爸~然后再加作最后的冲刺！
星期三就去考试！呵呵^^
我一定应付得来的！我就不相信我搞不定~
今天和某人讲了一下话。。他还是如此。。我不知道应该怎样说了。。
明明就说不要帮我，可到了最后还是会帮！你大概永远都摆脱不了我这个恶梦吧。。
那就好~反正啊，你和昌是我最好最好的避风港了！
少了你，或许我还好。。但是如果我的人生真的少了昌。。我想，我会觉得。。活不下去？
昌是个很重要的人物！他的角色绝对是没有人可以代替的。。
从来就没有想过少了他的生活会怎样。。但是如果真的没有他。。
大概就不会有今天的我了，他对我的影响是绝对很大的！
更何况我的人生剧本每一年都已经预了会有他的出现。。他是不会消失的！
除非已经到了结局。。
问题真的很好，少了昌的生活会怎样？我应该好好想一下。。哈哈^^