Saturday, January 31, 2009

说说自己的感受吧。。

已经很久没有用华语了。。大概有差不多两个月了吧。。那时因为我为了方便你看我的部落格呀。。所以,才没有用华语的。。但是你有没有来看我就真的不知道了。。但是没有关系。。是交往了都快两个月了。。当初的开始有没有做错决定我就真的不知道,可是我现在真的很爱你。。这个是真的了。。是无法否定的事实。。也没有必要去否认或否定它。。

最近总是一直觉得沟通方面有问题,是我的问题吗?还是你的呢?其实你都不知道,每一次吵架,我都没有真的在吵,因为我知道自己的脾气,我知道自己的限度,所以我都在容忍。。但是我有自己的极限,只怕极限到了之后我会直接喊停。。我真的会这么做,有多么的不舍得都好,我的决定是不会改变的。。尤其是这种分手的事情。。。

你的脾气是很不好,但是我都忍了。。难道你就不可以谅解我一下吗?我,需要顾虑太多人的感受了,我自私不了。。这个是自己最不好的一点,但也是我觉得很不错的一点。。人生就是产生了很多的矛盾,这些矛盾就是在等着我们自己去解决它们。。有些时候,我的压力是来自于朋友,很多是后都是自己不知道该怎么样告诉你,因为知道你会容易受伤。。因为怕你会承受不起。。那我呢?你有考虑过我承受不住吗?我并不是你看上去如此的坚强的。。

开心的时候真的很开心的。。那个时候自己的压力会逐渐增长。。因为快乐的时光总是过得特别快,不是吗?很多时候,电影情节就是在反映着现实社会。。社会是残忍的,没有人会对自己仁慈。。相信你对我的态度也是一样的吧。。道歉了,你还总是如此。。总是那么的冷。。我会觉得不知所措的。。但是你却又不知道这一点。。

我以为你会很了解我。。但原来你不是。。当你对我觉得很失望因为你认为我不谅解你的时候,其实我都会很伤心的。。我都在尽自己最大的努力去认识你,但你有尝试着去认识我吗?考试对我而言就真的很重要,你知不知道当你说我为了一张白痴的文凭发神经的时候,我的心有多痛有多失望?其实你不知道,所以就没有关系。。

我亲爱的男朋友,我也会有崩溃的一天的。。。拜托不要再欺负我了。。我爱你。。

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

CNY part 1..

HAPPY CNY peeps...ok..hmm..greeting everyone happy cny be happy...haha..duno why i simply love to say hi..happy chinese new year..for nothing..and...this year's reunion dinner...showed that...from next year onwards..the table be lacking of one of the family members..sze wei jie jie..
she be getting married this coming march..o.o well..why lacked of one before her is because grandpa's death..sigh..it has been 6 years...every year's reunion dinner..i'll thought of him...
grandpa's a very very kind old man..weeeeee..he drinks and smokes..well..every year..when he was still here..after the dinner..he will sit at the dining table...drinking his HENNESY with dad and uncle and aunty and mum...
after cleaning the dining table..ALL OF US will start gambling at there..haha..grandpa be the winner everytime..after he passed away..i seldom gamble anymore..there's no longer fun and laughters at the dining table..i will miss him a lot..
till today...i will only gamble...to entertain my family..and not for the sake of gambling..i find no fun..i miss grandpa..a lot..and the days playing fire crackers with him be EXTREMELY fun..wooohoo..me and ruei ming kor kor..will start playing right after dinner..no more for now..all kor said..is ...u baka dota..dun play dota dy..go sleep.. ^^
well..chinese new year is all about red packets and visiting friends and family members...due to global recession...the amount in each angpao..has been REDUCED from what i received last year..sob...T_T some of the aunties don't even bother to give..serious mofo..I'M UR FUCKING NIECE LAR...damnit!
and those who usually gave 10 cut cost gave 5 this year..i wanted to ask mama to give 5...she said nevermind.. o.O total amount of money right now is only half of what i've collected last year..omfg..daddy haven't gimme angpao yet..sigh...
fucking economy crisis..WHY THE HELL?you made me felt so broke...

p/s: uncle chin gave me a blank angpao today...haha...he took out the money to pay for his gambling debt.. ^_*

Thursday, January 22, 2009

21012009------------>another big day

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

omfg..i'm scared

so at the end of the day..i'm still afraid of facing my AS results...
sigh..i'm such a coward...ya..so?ish....who the hell on earth would have the guts to collect the results when she has no confidence at all?
ya..i know i'll definitely fail either one of it..i have my own feelings..
tension is driving me crazy...
maybe you won't know how'd i feel...well...nobody knows..
and my parents can't even remember that i be collecting my results later...
i told them...so wat?they don't give a god damn shit about it..
sigh...
10am in the morning..5th floor...get the fucking result..
urgh...i know i will cry...is either...right after i collected it..or...when i'm alone in the room~
to be honest..i'm a sore loser in my studies...i can't let the results be outta my expectation..
T_T
watever has been done..is already a past..I WON'T SCREW MY A2 if i really fail..
i can't sleep..my heart is pumping fast..i'm gonna have nightmare..

Monday, January 19, 2009

19012009----------->tired but happy ^^

a night without any sleep or rest be tiring...because wat's coming up next be 3 hours of boring class and no rest given...
well..LAN class suckx...so..i ended up sitting at the back sit with jas,angel and joey and the three of us talk craps..hoho..my writing speed has reduced from moderate to a slow pace..i can't stand it anymore...and the writing suckx..uh oh..
break time...wanted to eat chee cheong fun at first...ok..because i'm hungreh so i can take any food at that time...ended up eating filet-o-fish in the class..i was happily having fries when the lecturer was talking there...haha..
after class..went home straight..hehe...was so tired that i fell asleep at the sofa...till....i heard my grandma and my maid shouting...wtf...fucking noisy..then that old lady came down from upstairs and sat on the chair..she cried and kept complaining she's sick when she's fucking healthy...damn it lar!
so i got angry and i went back to my room and sleep..5 mins later..bloody hell daddy and brother got home...came into the room and kept disturbing me...i hate people who disturb my sleep when i don't have enough of rest..is like as if you don't know about it..mofos!house phone ringing non-stop...urgh
3smth..finalleh i went out with chang..and paid my phone bill..settled everything i went to the train station..met yong..o.o bumped into lolo at putra station..haha..sigh...unbarred the phone line...life is always boring yet happy..ok..forget bout it..
then...nothing much...waited for 2 hours only my dad came and picked me up...hoho^^ my coolest daddy...told him lotsa things..well..i always have nice time talking to him...
then we had the worst dinner..bloody hell..the food they served simply suckx..don't expect me to go back again..service suckx as well..so...forget bout it..headed home after dinner..daddy said tomorrow's dinner settle myself..weeeeeee...of course ima bug my darling..haha...
i've got a boyfriend who can cook and do lotsa stuffs...hahahaa....i'm so lucky^^

Sunday, January 18, 2009

me and my name...TAN SUE YINN ^^




You Are Spontaneous and Whimsical



You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.

You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.

You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.



You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.



You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.



You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.

You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.



You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.

And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.

You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.



You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.



You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.



You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.



Friday, January 16, 2009

16012009-------->one month already...^^

without realizing it...the relationship between me and kent actually lasted for one fine month...of cox..the longer it goes the better..so it's still counting on..weeeeee.....
well..we went back to tsun jin and took my book and bumped into quite a number of people..my juniors all...haha..smart ass..all know kent's my boyfriend..lol..
went to times square...for MOVIE of course...sigh..another horror movie...george romeo's diary..hmm..this movie...be almost the same as quarantine...not as scary but quite funny at some point..well..i didn't hid myself behind the popcorn box...but...at the first screen...i headbutted my dear..
cinema was so cold..again..we didn't finish the popcorn we bought...o.o sad...guess..i would only finish the popcorn when i really enjoy the whole movie..haha...so far...madagascar, ratatouile, harry potter, jay's movie....and not horrors..my heart be too weak for horrors i guess..
anyway..i'll try to watch more..shall overcome the phobia^^
ouh ya..before movie..i had lunch at secret recipe again...there's this WOMAN..who sat next table..bloody kept staring at me and kent...omg..wat the fuck is wrong with you? then the hell..the service sucks...seriously..waiter cleaning up plates when i left a piece of chip there for kr? THEY FUCKING DIDN'T ASK ME AND TOOK AWAY MY CHIP...then when i said they didn't ask only one of the waiter asked.."do you want it back?" fuck lar..ish..
after movie...headed to buy kr's friend's birthday present...lolx lolx...our friend here kena pulled away by a MALAY CHICK..which i don't find her HOT at all...promoting some malay pimples remover cream...
haha..and..kr simply stoned there..when i said lets go he remain stoned..and he almost bought that stupid cream...lolx..lolxx....
such a cute boy...
bought his friend present..and he became broke...hehe ^^
walked all the way to pudu..and found kent's diablo 2...i smart..cox i remembered that the shop sold computer games..weee....
kr went home and me and kent went for CHEESY WEDGES...
woooohuu...real CHEESY...yummy yum...shaun..u simply missed it..hahahahaha...nothing much...went home after that...
reached home..grandma went avatar...lolololo...screamed for 1 hour...for nothing...she simply qixin...chang said is normal...i also duno..
mum came into the room and said...she be going to taiwan with aunty maggie 2mrw..i was simply having dilemma before she came in..she solved it...by going to taiwan..hohohoho...
BUT AT THE SAME TIME I WANNA GO TAIWAN...nevermind..i'll definitely get to go taiwan one day...no worries...make sure you get the things i listed out..especially the CHOCOLATES..thanks..

p/s: thanks....to my beloved bf...for giving me such memorable month..hohohoho...heart you ^^

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

13012009--------->fucking xien

damn it lar..i seriously don't know wat kinda parents i'm having right now..
HAVING A BOYFRIEND IS NO BIG DEAL OK?
i'm already 19...I KNOW HOW TO THINK...fuckers treat me like a kid...i'm no longer that dumbass sue yinn in ur freaking dumbass heart..
ya..YOU GUYS DATED EACH OTHER SINCE 15..DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW...
i know more than you do..so just freaking shut up..YOUR CURRENT HUSBAND FAIL DOESN'T MEANT THAT MY BF FAILS...YOUR CURRENT WIFE IS AN ASS..DOESN'T MEANT THAT UR DAUGHTER WOULD TURN INTO AN ASS AS WELL..
you want me to take law..i took law...i watch series..you said i didn't study...i go for a date..you said i didn't study as well...when i said i wanna study..you fucking said...don't need to pretend..
YA...ALL YOU SAY...HAPPY?i'm like an idiot puppet right now..
i hate to be the smartest..yet i have to be one..i hate to be the eldest..yet i'm born as one..
have you guys ever thought from my angle?
my dad as the youngest child...my mum as youngest daughter...you guys get every shit you want..
WAT ABOUT ME?i am the eldest..ASK URSELF..HOW MUCH TIME HAVE YOU EVER SPENT ON ME..BEFORE YOU START LECTURING ME..
yes..i respect you as my parents...I RESPECT!i listened..BUT YOU SAID I DON'T NEED TO ACCEPT EVERY SHIT YOU SAID BEFORE..and i remembered..you don't need me to repeat it don't you?
don't fucking threatened me...I HATE THREADS...i'll prove you wrong DEFINITELY...for having a boyfriend i'll study even harder...
now i know why i can't talk to you...because watever i have in mind is always wrong...you'll say i have the wrong mindset..
NEVER LET ME KNOW WHO THE HELL ON EARTH LET THE 2 FAGS KNOW I GOT A BOYFRIEND...I'LL CURSE YOU TO THE MAX...
bloody hell...you spied me...

Friday, January 09, 2009

09012009-------------->updates^^

effing tired..effing sleepy..but..i'm still here to update my blog..simply because i've been VERY LAZY lately...i think the time to push myself IS HERE...so...college life remains the same..it makes no difference..good news and bad news..both i don't feel like writing here..as long as the decision is made correctly..there it goes..i'll give you full support^^

then..my AS results be out on the 21st of JAN...sigh..honestly i have no idea..and i don't know how is it gonna be..exam's over..the final result can't change..if it turns out to be..horrible..well..i should retake all the subjects and redo everything...hopefully..it's not horrible..*keep ur fingers across*

18th of JAN..atc student ball...of course i would invite my darling with me...well..at least i should ask if he would like to come along..since outsiders are allowed..i know if i didn't even bother to ask..something bad will happen..rows..and more rows...

don't really have much time to spend with you...hope that planner work out well with you...hehe^^is love and time...

chinese new year be around the corner..and i haven't get any new baju yet...simply too busy lately...sigh...shall look up for a few and get mama or maybe daddy to the shop and pay...i'm effing broke..forgive me..T_T

is year 2009...hope everything's gonna work out well this year...at least not as bad as last year...god bless me!!!!!!

Saturday, January 03, 2009

01032009----------------->i met the archbishop

today..i followed dear dear to HOLY ROSARY..well this be my second time visiting the church for the year..haven't even pay a visit to any of the temple yet but churches..nevermind of that..everytime i go church i feel HOLY..o.o that's actually weird..i'm not
a catholic or anything..i'm not a buddhist..ok i might be a half buddhist..who cares..aikx!

hmm..service was kinda FUN actually..don't really felt left out there..while waiting for dear i studied and all..hmm..didn't really study much..got bored of the first chapter of contract..fucken can't finish after a week..damnit!is jux simple 40 pages..i cudn't even finish them..well..after that drove to brickfields for lunch..that coffeeshop's drinks be the suckiest ever..i didn't finish my cup of drink..

drove home..and..rest and went out to st.john's..my first time visiting that place..haha that church be huge..sad part be it's WARM inside the church..that sending off ceremony or RCIA...i forgotten wat's that ceremony called be..nice!and i saw the archbishop of m'sia!wahahaha..he's an OLD MAN..but cool well at least i saw him..

despite his age..the way he speaks..i simply love it..sorry to say but compared to father daniel..i actually find it more interesting listening to the archbishop speech.. *_* well..you know..the ceremony was kinda HUGE..and people tend to come from other states..therefore speeches were given in four different languages...english, mandarin, tamil and malay..my goodness!there's this indian FATHER that could actually give speech with MANDARIN!!!holy holy...and his pronounciation was...correct..^^

song were sang in 2 different versions...malay and english versions..sad to say..the songs in st.john's be slow and boring..aikx!hmm...well..after the ceremony went home lu..tomorrow my dear be working dy..i'm gonna miss him like crazy!take care and enjoy your job babe..heavy rain for the rest of the night..it be a cold night...that night be the first time in my life after i took my drivers' licence that i drove with the speed of 20km/s...well that's crazy...effing slow..i cudn't see the road clearly...wat to do?i had to drive with extreme slow speed..as there be POOLS and POOLs of water..then with my hazellight on..haiy..

thunderstorms...and all...i need some hugs*

Thursday, January 01, 2009

01012009-------------------->NEW YEAR!!

first..happy new year guys...sad no pictures of fireworks..because..my beloved darling's dslr ran outta battery..hehe^^ *sobs* so...me,kent,jas,sk,jack,roc,raymond,mun,kr,hock leong all went to kl plaza..
right..sorry mun and kr..that plan wasn't suppose to end up in the pool when u guys were here...sigh* sorry sorry..
KR WHERES MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT??!!i don't want the 2 towels..ish ish!!make sure you gimme 2 this year..hahahaha^^MUN THANKS FOR THE CHOCOLATES..they're yummy *wink*
raymond..our great sponsor for booze..hoho..brandy and coke and carlsberg..ok i took only brandy and coke and not carlsberg nor guiness stout...hmm...played bluff and all..
brandy made me blur T_T haha..i swang alone on the bed..6 in the morning..when i see ceiling spinning above my head..and i can't even stand properly...sad sad...to the extend that i need to use cold water to splash on my face...
cigarettes SUCKX!especially pall mall..omg that smell...eww...
hock leong and jas puked...haha...i didn't!*claps* never get drunk before..i duno if i were tipsy or sober..haha..the only i know is..i was blur but at the same time i was awake..i know what i'm doing..hehe
hmm...mun be leaving to the states this sunday...sigh all the best to you mun...MAKE SURE YOU COME BACK AND PAY US A VISIT...ur my shifu weih..those dota lessons actually helps..lulu be leaving to phil on the 8th..coming back on feb and off again during april and off to the states june or july...sigh my bud...i will miss joo!!
my darling be at some party right now...have no idea if he is still alright..haha..i don't think he had enough of rest..sigh
that ass out there please don't spoil my new year...you bloody cheapskate..
i feel so broke.....sooooooooooo BROKE.....and poor T_T

*thanks to justin,lulu and everyone that sent me sms to greet me happy new year..haha^^