31032009----------------->end of the month..

time flies!haha..my last post..i think was about me got stucked in the mud..urgh..i be too lazy to blog about my life lately..
life's a bitch...nothing much to talk about..started to get numb with the life i'm having now..
shuda add some spice into it..BUT...where are the spices?which part of my life shud i add the spices into?sigh*
exam's around the corner..simply seek no motivation to study..wat to do larh?eww...the moment i look at my messy table..i lost the feeling of studying..
in great debt lately..having problem clearing off my dumb debts..is like suddenly i'm in such great debt!WTF...why am i so fucking broke?am i really that broke?i have no idea...
nothing much..jie jie got married finally..i know she's gonna have a happy life after this..haha..girls from the TAN family tend to have the same situation..thanks for knowing my feelings..
sigh...ghost or spirit..god or the goddess..believe it or not..brother in law could see them..haha!it drew back my attention to the buddhist beliefs..always a half half for me..like roc said..why can't i be a half christian and a half buddhist?at the end of the day we're still praying to the same god..aint it?
see the logic..understand it and thought about it..there's a lot to learn in my life..too much to be learnt that i'm afraid i don't have enough time..
grandma's in kinda severe sickness..her alzhemeirs been driving most of us crazy..endure and that's it..is scary for 2 different people to have almost a same dream..
bro in law actually dreamt that grandpa wanted to take grandma's live away...same as me having a similar dream..kinda spookie tho..dream won't come true..right?
looking forward to this sunday's outing with darling?i hope i could make it..

p/s:would wanna say sorry to my beloved bf..not really in the mood lately..can't really get crazy..been stressing about exam all night..sigh..i'm terribly sorry..love you always..muackxx!^^

Marie Digby ----------------> Say it Again

the thing about love
is i never saw it coming
it kind of crept up
and took me by surprise
and now there's a voice inside my heart
its got me wondering
is it true..? I wanna hear it one more time
move in a little closer
take it to a whisper
just a little louder...
Say it Again for me
cause i love the way it feels
when you are telling me that i'm
the only one who blows your mind
say it again for me
it's like the whole world
stops to listen
when you tell me you're in love...
say it again

the thing about you
is you know just how to get me
you talk about us
like there's not end in sight
the thing about me
is that i really wanna let you
open that door
and walk into my life
move in a little closer
take it to a whisper
just a little louder..
Say it Again for me
cause i love the way it feels
when you are telling me that i'm
the only one who blows your mind
say it again for me
it's like the whole world
stops to listen
when you tell me you're in love..
and it feels like
it's the first time
that anybody's ever brought
the sun without the rain
never in my whole life
have i heard words
as beautiful as when you say my name..

say it again for me
cause i love the way it feels when you are telling me
that i'm the only one who blows your mind
say it again for me
it's like the whole world stops to listen
when you tell me you're in love
say it again say it again say it again
ooohh
say it again say it again say it again
say it again say it again say it again
when you tell me you're in love
say it again
====================================================================
naise song..didn't know she was the one who sang this song..one of my favourites!hmm..saw her fans profile at facebook and there's how i realized she's the singer..nice pitch!lol..her voice is nice..sweeeeeeeeeeeto!

Leona Lewis - I Will Be

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go

I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

I will be, all that you want
And gather myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything OK

I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly

You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe, cause you're here with me

And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

I will be, all that you want
And gather myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything OK

Cause without you I cant breathe
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I've got, you're all I want
Yeah

And without you I don't know what I'd do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here with me, do you see,
You're all I need

I will be, all that you want
And gather myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything OK

I will be, all that you want
And gather myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything OK

15032009--------------->a day that i will always remember!

my daily routine..back to my "neraka" and thank god there's ying to help me up today...well..everything went on smoothly except that i reached the shop half an hour later and left the shop half an hour later than i've expected..since i won't get the chance to meet my boyfriend for the next two weeks..i decided to meet him up for dinner..

for god's sake..i got stucked in the jam for...almost an hour only i reached taman desa..went for dinner at "i forgotten the restaurant's name" and...drove home...ouh!the traffic was fantastic and i simply loved it!it went...smoothly...in jux 20 mins time..i reached uncle's house dy!woohoo..
so..passed him the keys and money and i wanted to rush home..heaven's sake..my trial's be tomorrow..and i have to get my LAN folio done by tonight latest by tomorrow..

thank you for being a smart girl i drove into the road that was under construction since years ago..and fucking hell thanks to the contructor for not closing back after sending in the sand and all...i thought the road OPENED and well constructed...before going in i actually asked my cousin sister..where be the turning this is one way and O.O where to go...there's an exit at the front..so..my only choice..be the exit..drove ALL THE WAY in and FUCKING IT WAS A "DEAD END" and only motorcyclist and go through..

made a u-turn and.."fantastic"..thanks to the rain and i got stucked in the MUD...tried my very best to get out from the mud..drove front reverse back turn here turn there..and my car's tyre went deeper in..i had no choice but to call uncle..while waiting for uncle..there's this dumb car who went into the same lane like me..fucking hell he passed by..and..he made a u-turn..he saw me stucked in the mud..and he simply drove up without helping me outta trouble..wat a selfish ass!

he came and he tried..got himself muddy..and..he failed..SO...when you have no money and you need help and your parents not around...you wouldn't want the whole dumb family to know about your stupidity..call the police!dialed 999..connected to the BOMBA...and told them my problem...

IN JUST 5 MINS time..they reached..(i got stucked right behind the balai)..still it was FAST!the whole truck came and i think 10 of them were to help..so...4 bomba(s) actually pushed my car out from the mud...holy crap!POLICE called and thought i was caught in fire..he wanted to speak to my dad and the firefighter settled the issue for me..thank you! *salute*
always had the mindset that government servants be suxxors!I BE GRATEFUL this time..well at least to the firefighters!salute!i really salute to them while saying thank you...THANKS ALOT...ya policemen tend to get rasuah..still..firefighters worked it out..police don't get us out from this kinda situation..hmm...great..

drove back to ying's home to drop her..and my goodness..due to the heat caused by the stucked in the mud..my car broke down cox of overheat..haiyo...haiyo..stayed at ying's house..almost had to stay a night there and i could finalleh start my car after 90 mins...and now..i'm back home!thank you..

haven't start reading and i'm planning to screw my ELS on tuesday..since i know wat to write and i know the questions..ima memorise my own answer before exam and write them out..will have to get my folio done by tomorrow and pass it up by tuesday..ouh jesus!please save me..

*to the firefighters that came today..thanks for the help...am really really grateful..very efficient tho..i thought it would take you hours to reach..but it was only 5 mins...hmm..thanks a lot and salute you guys!*

exam..

exam days have been drawing nearer and nearer...but i don't seem to give a damn about it!i was like all day surfing the net..and wondering around my own world...fantasizing my own dreamx..is MOCK..and the finals be in just 2 months time..as for what i'm doing now...i wouldn't stand the chance to get a good result for my finals!if this is gonna be the case..i find no reason why would i ended myself up here...well..i think is my time to get myself prepared for my life war! =(

as the exam days been drawing nearer...i actually would miss my big baby more..i have no idea why this is happening..but the missing him kinda feeling is getting stronger..i must learn how to resist it!maybe..is just a maybe..i'm afraid that i will neglect you when i'm preparing for my finals..bah~is just a maybe..i can't tell as well..

i am undergoing the stress right now..right here..but..i seek no motivation to get my hands off my laptop..i've already started to abandon my cellphone..which i think is a good sign..the next thing is..get rid of the laptop and fucking maintain like this for the 3 dumb months then i can fly..i wouldn't want watever had happened on me before happened again..the history shall not be repeated..and shall just lie there...forever~

ouh my baby darling..please tell me wat should i do in order to get myself out from the world..father in heaven..please guide me to the right route..i know seek for the help of jesus..and all~i know i should at least score well and not get my time wasted for a year and 3 months in the college..it will turn out to be a waste of money and time and i wouldn't want that to happen..*sighs* [shakes head] turn around and stay here remained...STONING..

screw it seriously...i doubted if i could really take it..

someone that i've been calling him kor kor for 10 fucking years suddenly said..stop calling him kor kor because it made him felt dumb and like a small kid!
you shud've jux fucking tell me way earlier and not 10 dumb years later...is like me and chang..fucking ask the both of us not to talk to each other for a month be..driving us crazy...
so now left only me and chang because you withdraw urself out..is not a game..is a relationship..you ended it!i love you because i really take you as a brother you know..not the way you put it in..it be fucking harsh..i love chang as well..both of you are my best brothers and friends..
i dunid someone to lecture me about my age and stuffs...but thank god you told me!it'll be way better than 20 years later you telling me this..i'll definitely faint..
nevermind..thanks for the stuffs and lessons you taught me in my life..i appreciated them much..and i ride outta my life way earlier...because i take you as a brother and you don't and then u asked me to get a ride outta my life...
u screw the friendship and the relationship between me you and chang..let's call it for an end..thanks kor kor for stepping into our life..may you have a better life out there without me bugging you...

10032009------------->My 19th Birthday..

is my birthday again..well i'm a silly girl that enjoys celebrating birthday..weeeeeee..IS FUN you know blowing candles..making wishes...cutting the cake..sharing with family and friends..listening to birthday song..i simply love that!i celebrated my birthday with MY BELOVED boyfriend and of course my family^^ happy...

*all i see is someone tearing up the piece of garlic bread..*

well..we had exciting moments...and memorable moments at 1 utama..lunch at the jack's place..the food are nice..BUT..it be too greedy of me..i ordered a lot..and we ended up couldn't finish the food..sad..fries!!!hung around 1 utama and took the sticker photos..and both of us actually looked good in it..ouh love you!muakxx..i be too lazy to scan the pictures and upload them here..sorry.. =)

on my birthday..i be fucking smart to take a new highway to get myself to college and fucking got lost in hartamas...so me and jasmine ended ourselves up at klcc maxis centre and we found out something SHOCKING!well it be for me to know and for you guys to find out then...hmm...i suddenly went crazy and said i wanna go find my boyfriend when i know he be free for the rest of the day..so i got excited and...asked for the directions to get to that DESA PANDAN..studio DL..

I have no idea whether to say i'm fucking stupid or just purely dumb and blind...or maybe the constructor of the kampung pandan super duper big round-a-bout be an ass..thank him for painting the word DESA PANDAN on the street instead of painting it on a sign board..after 3 hours of journey...MY JOURNEY OF ROUNDING IN PANDAN JAYA,PANDAN INDAH,KAMPUNG PANDAN&TAMAN MALURI..is so fun!fucking fun..and my car went gg-fied..

i found the way to DESA PANDAN after 3 hours with the guide of sook ling jie jie..thanks a lot!still i got lost in desa pandan for making a wrong turn..ish~finalleh!we found and we reached and we stayed for 2 hours...sent mah boyfriend home and off to mum's shop..after everything..drove home dropped jasmine back..and here's wat i got from my family when i reached home..^^

my small lil pooh bear muffin^^i got so excited when i saw it..after all is still a pooh..muahkx dad..there be my birthday cake..is walnut coffee cake..muahkx mum..thanks for the pooh and the cake!love you guys...the best thing ever happened was...all my kor kors actually messaged me and said happy birthday..which is outta my expectation i thought they forgotten bout it..then i received a phone call from jack!!my brother..holy!he said happy birthday as well..and also chang..so all my close friends actually greeted me and i had my best 19th birthday~love you guys so much!MUACKXX MUACKXX MUACKXX

04032009----------------->i love kenny low!

hmm..wednesday..wat a torturous day..why?because after law..i be having bitch class..MATHS!not that i hate maths.. but the lecturer be bitchy..screw it..this morning..fucken woke up at 8.20am..my goodness!left home at 9am..drove off from kepong to kl at 9.10am..reached college at 10 smth..wat a good student!when i reach college..my precious seat..had been taken away from someone..sad T_T she made me and jas had to squeeze ourselves for a table..and my stuffs kept dropping...awww..

break and i had chee cheong fun, half-boiled egg and milo ice!weeeeeeeeee wonderful breakfast!law class be..boring...sir was basically repeating wat he taught us in extra class last saturday..haiy..wasted!lunch time..wanted to eat ramli burger..sad that the stall wasn't open when we went there..instead of burger..we went for nam heong chicken rice..O.O esquire kitchen..yummy

the chicken rice be nice..and i chose to skip that bitch class and i entered business...i'm such a good student!mr. edgar be HUMOROUS..haha..hahaha..his class is fun..well..during break time...i was reminded of that tamil song..and i start jiggling..ouh that be fun to play!haha^^ read a few pages of contract right before the class end..and went yumcha with angel...

was supposed to send her back to taman desa..but ended up at sri neelas..before that went ddp and bought..SUSHI for my beloved boyfriend...he work so hard for his future..i shall reward him with his favourite food..seriously hope that my sushi would brighten up his stressful day...he work from 5am till 8pm..and sometimes it be later..sob* T_T

just right after i sent angel home after that yumcha session..i received a message from dear telling me thank you for the sushi..ya..that time i was at the junction turning out..HOLY!i made a phone call and i turned back to taman desa..just to see him for a while..that's madness but nvm!is worth it!love you always..

02032009----------->happy bday tze chuan

hmm..today..late for class again..well we're only 5~10 mins late..and i found a nice parking!^^ nice shade..today's LAN class..another new lecturer..haiy..seriously..wat's wrong with the management..why do we have different lecturers every week?well..today's new lecturer..be WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY better than the previous shila..anyway..group presentation and all..well me and jasmine didn't prepare..so obviously the two of us be sitting behind..crapping stuffs..

hmm...ivan and nevian be...going nuts..lol...and the worst part be neevian misheard if i were a boss to if i were a breast..haha^^nothing much going on in the class..after LAN class..me,jas,esther,jackson,steven,tze chuan,fangkai and jy went to times square for karaoke session...haha^^it was 4 months ago since my last visit to karaoke..woooohoooo..

hmm..jy joined us later..and..i actually fetched..all of them to times square..my goodness..i didn't know my car could actually fit so many people..that's madness...haha..we were given a BIG BIG ROOM with personal toilet..haha^^how nice..4 mics..given the time from 1pm till 7pm..ouh that's gonna be nice...how nice if my boyfriend could join..sad he be working..was waiting for his message since morning..then when i was singing..he messaged me..aikx!maxis got problem..after i sent a few messages to him..my phone got hanged and i couldn't send messages..wat the fuck!

hmm...sang non-stop..thank god the guys were sporting enough and jy..could actually sing..hahaha..he has got that serious look on him when he was singing..shall post that picture up someday..haha..the crowd left at 4.30pm..that big room left only me and jas alone..both of us actually sang...till 6.40pm...our throat sored...but it was FUN^^

hmm..parking fare be...7 BUCKS..my goodness..next time i park low yat or some other place..i'll make sure it's not times square..haiy..drove home with that extreme slow speed again...haha...80km/s this time..the slowest i went was 20km/s..i'm such a safe driver..wooohooo..i got crazy and i spam boring malay songs with the windows whined down..haha..then i actually jiggled when i heard slumdog millionaire's soundtrack..jas got sicked of it..

right before we reach the restaurant..both of us changed the lyrics of if i were a boy to if i were a breast..keep yourself update with my blog for further lyrics about the if i were a breast...dinner was fun..secret revealed..and it was SHOCKING!!!haha..outta expectation...went home...and i got to talk to my boyfriend!my goodness...my goodness..i miss him so much~~~~~bloody....please let the time fly..i wanna see him larh ish!

rest and sleep...tomorrow no econx class..haha..i'll end myself up at kay's cafe..dear be at work from 5 in the morning..pity him..he must be very very tired..haiy..

01032009----------------->i met the archbishop

today..i followed dear dear to HOLY ROSARY..well this be my second time visiting the church for the year..haven't even pay a visit to any of the temple yet but churches..nevermind of that..everytime i go church i feel HOLY..o.o that's actually weird..i'm not
a catholic or anything..i'm not a buddhist..ok i might be a half buddhist..who cares..aikx!

hmm..service was kinda FUN actually..don't really felt left out there..while waiting for dear i studied and all..hmm..didn't really study much..got bored of the first chapter of contract..fucken can't finish after a week..damnit!is jux simple 40 pages..i cudn't even finish them..well..after that drove to brickfields for lunch..that coffeeshop's drinks be the suckiest ever..i didn't finish my cup of drink..

drove home..and..rest and went out to st.john's..my first time visiting that place..haha that church be huge..sad part be it's WARM inside the church..that sending off ceremony or RCIA...i forgotten wat's that ceremony called be..nice!and i saw the archbishop of m'sia!wahahaha..he's an OLD MAN..but cool well at least i saw him..

despite his age..the way he speaks..i simply love it..sorry to say but compared to father daniel..i actually find it more interesting listening to the archbishop speech.. *_* well..you know..the ceremony was kinda HUGE..and people tend to come from other states..therefore speeches were given in four different languages...english, mandarin, tamil and malay..my goodness!there's this indian FATHER that could actually give speech with MANDARIN!!!holy holy...and his pronounciation was...correct..^^

song were sang in 2 different versions...malay and english versions..sad to say..the songs in st.john's be slow and boring..aikx!hmm...well..after the ceremony went home lu..tomorrow my dear be working dy..i'm gonna miss him like crazy!take care and enjoy your job babe..heavy rain for the rest of the night..it be a cold night...that night be the first time in my life after i took my drivers' licence that i drove with the speed of 20km/s...well that's crazy...effing slow..i cudn't see the road clearly...wat to do?i had to drive with extreme slow speed..as there be POOLS and POOLs of water..then with my hazellight on..haiy..

thunderstorms...and all...i need some hugs*